Friday, December 30, 2011





Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Updated all of my blogs with a message of "okay, That Bastard is almost back," and in case you don't read my other blogs lemme tell ya: That Bastard is almost back.

Vacation out in California is almost done (except for certain stuff that needs to get done before I head back to WA), and I've succeeded in snagging a contact or two (so to speak) in the music biz. Now I just need to get my main band rollin' on recording a song or two so they can hear naturally I'm gonna call in two guitarists to help us record some good ol' songs we used to slam around in the basement. "Sunshine of Your Love" was one we had a lot of practice with, and I'm going to push to have our punk covers of "White Rabbit" and "Nights in White Satin" recorded as well...but I'm fairly certain they'll like "Sunshine of Your Love" even more so.

We'll see, we'll see...

Anyway, I'll have a better format for That Bastard On to screw around with (yay bold and underline segment titles), new Bachelor Chow "recipes" and general suggestions, new things to complain about and a new life to live.

I ain't happy, and I certainly as fuck ain't content...but I have a ton to look forward to in this final year of the Earth's life cycle, and I'm willing to add my desire to get back into tournament poker (Texas Hold 'Em no limit 'til the death of me) onto the fire as well.

Here's to a good year to come, eh?


That Bastard

P.S. - !!!!!!

The Pen Is My Sword

Netflix This!

Man-Flavored Milk

Soothe Your Freaking Beast

That Bastard On...

and, naturally, what started it all:

The Bellingham Jerk

Saturday, September 24, 2011 work, smashed dreams, bachelor chow, general losing my mind.

So. Sosososo. Here we are again! I do apologize about the distance between posts, but least I'm still postin', right?

So that thing I alluded to in my previous That Bastard On went down, but it went down in the secondary, harder path. I can only hope that it ends well, y'know? It's still fraught with the worry and stress and bullshit that can still cause me to stay away from bloggan for a month, but for now fuck it - I'm still here. I'm still standin', y'knowwhatImean?

Anyway, enough bullshit! LET'S DO A NEW FEATURED LINK, OKAY? So here we got a long-time poster of mine, and it's about time I show her some love, y'knowwhatImean? Tracirz, over at Technicolor Typecast, updates with stream of consciousness posts, stuff about her "wabi-sabi wedding" (her and her beau, Nebberz, wants ta get married on 11/11/11 and are on a quest to get it done - funny story, Nebberz looks like a homeboy of mine), and is also an aspiring minimalist. Suffice it to say, as a collector of all kinds of shit (mostly books and weapons), I find her viewpoint a refreshing contradiction to my own and one that I read up on every time she posts.

So yeah, go show some love and let her know That Bastard sent ya:

So there we go, a new featured link and what-not~! Get to it, minions.

SOOOOOO, as anyone probably/kinda/sorta remembers from my previous post, yeah I'm on a new job FINALLY after, like, a friggin', two years. Construction, at that. Shit's fuckin' awesome, I feel like I AM getting stronger (though my back is only slightly a worry) and overall I feel really good about it. I mean, having worked the food production/factory labor as I have, I've NEVER felt like I was doing anything productive, y'know? Not only that but the workspace itself is pretty chilled out and filled with rough, blue-collar humor. It's a real working man's environment, and I fuckin' DIG it. Plus the employers and Human Resources people actually make you feel like a valued employee rather than a piece-of-shit cog in the machine.

Strangely enough, I have only minor trepidations concerning it...after all, some of my best lyrics are based around the simmering hatred of the middle class due to base exploitations and the vicious, ever-increasing gap between them and the higher class. Working at a place where they actually VALUE you and your work is kinda putting a dampener on all that seething rage...I dunno, we'll see. Either way, it ends come January when I become a full-time student again, so it'll be good while it lasts.

So, smashed dreams. You guys know by now (at least, MY word on it) that I have an insane streak of perseverance within me. I'll keep going 'til shit is completely failed, then I'll get back up and either try it again or try something different, but I keep on going, right?'s been something like a month or a month and a half since I last practiced with m'band, and we're ALL feelin' it. I don't even know what the hell my bassist is doing at this point except working and chilling at his house. My drummer is actually drumming for another band who may or may not need a vocalist...but they've already got a bassist, so that puts me in a little quandary. Plus all they want to do is Offspring songs, which isn't in and of itself a bad thing but it DOES put a limit on what I COULD do for 'em.

On the other hand, I happen to like the Offspring and we can borrow their jam space on their off-days, get back to practicing our songs and getting that fucking demo cut.

Another option though is to simply wait 'til I get into Communications - Broadcasting and either borrow or outright abscond the recording studio in order to cut our Five Moves of Doom demo. On the other hand, that won't be 'til January...which means at least three more months of feeling my edge getting rusty and dull. Shit sucks. ESPECIALLY when the songs I'm singing are better than what's on the radio. Plus, while I've far since come to the conclusion that I won't be able to cut our first album before Christmas (I wanted to give the first ten pressings to my parents as a gift, and a revelation that I'm back in the music biz - my father was INCREDIBLY proud of me when I first started getting into it and my plans for the band and everything...then my knee injury struck. Two years later, I'm plannin' on surprising them again, for all that I think my dad suspects) but I WOULD like to cut the demo before then. In the very least, I want SOMETHING to show my parents that I'm working hard on my dreams rather then letting them lay sundered.

Still, there's still always that worry that something bad can happen. I lose my bassist, I lose my drummer...I lose my reason to stay in Bellingham (though school would be a good reason to stick around, especially since I hate the California school system), mostly. I could make a band faster and easier in California, plus probably get more gigs...

But it would always be lacking in that little something that Bellingham offers musicians. This has always been an artist town, and I've experienced NOTHING like that back in California. Hell, there they try to REPRESS your artistic urges and force you into a executive-directed mold.

Fuck. That. Shit. I don't mind that I'll eventually have to go to either California or New York (or even Seattle/Tacoma) in order to sign papers, make deals and fuck around with executives, hell it comes with the territory. I knew that kind of shit would have to go down the MOMENT I got into this biz, but I still desire to do it all on my own terms. Like how that old hat goes, I want to be able to look back at my life and say "I did it my way." I know that selling out occurs to EVERY musician at some point in time, but I don't have to sell my fucking soul.

My stories, my songs, my scripts, my...well, shit, ANYTHING connected to me as an artist, every last one of 'em are a part of me. I'll whore myself out how I see fit, thank you very much. With that stated, I refuse to whore myself out unless it's on terms that allows me to still be me, y'knowwhatImean? "What do you consider selling out to be?" is a question I ask other artists and musicians, and there's a general consensus that when you give up your basic rights as an artist, to BE an artist, to push the boundaries and chain your imagination and free will to executive meddling...that's when you sell out.

I actually agree with that chunk of a statement.

So yeah, I'm still going to go for it. Even if I DO end up losing the current roster of my main band (and, subsequently, No Rhymes) I'm still going to try again. It just seriously sucks 'cuz that means an entire year just...pfft, gone. Lost. Still, I at least have the strength of substance to keep on keepin' on, so at least there's that...

Bachelor Chow tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! Y'know how you got all that rope sausage from the night before? Y'know what I mean, polska kielbasa or even "smoked sausage?" Well, have you ever considered building a breakfast sandwich around it?

Now, I'm biiiiig on breakfast for dinner, and nothing screams Bachelorism more than a breakfast sandwich for dinner. Unlike other people though, I don't toast my bread - I butter one side, then fry that motherfucker on the frying pan before I do either bacon or sausage, followed by cooking the eggs in the resultant delicious frying mixture. Butter + sausage/bacon grease = holy shit prepare to go running, dawg. Yer gonna need some cardio on that.

Still, shit is good as a motherfucker, and when you can combine meats or cheeses, it's always all good on the palate. I always use wheat bread (unless it's that good-assed potato bread), and will use a meat, a cheese (never American - it's fucking vegetable oil folks, it ain't even a fucking cheese), an egg or two and maybe a third slice of bread 'cuz I have something to sop up the LIIIIIFE with. I always do my eggs sunny-side up (under medium?) 'cuz I dig that LIIIIIIIIIIIFE all over my face. Unless I got face scruff goin', then that shit kinda sucks and suddenly I'm not into yolk.

Of course, I rarely have face scruff outside of my muttonchops so it's all good.

SO, if you got some leftovers laying around, consider a steak-breakfast sandwich. Or, as I'm gonna do right now for lunch, a rope sausage-breakfast sandwich. Rock that bread, cut the sausage in half, cook on both sides while you slice a delicious, thin slash of cheese (too much can fuck with the balance of the sandwich), add that sausage while the eggs barely cook, drizzle the whole damn thing with a sprinkling of pepper jack cheese and it's fuckin' ON dizzawg. Also, gonna saute up some onions on that motherfucker. Have some V-8 (low sodium or that good ol' splashed shit with Pomengranite-Blueberry) so yer not missin' out too much on the vegetable point and there ya go.

Go ahead and try it yer damn self, see if it doesn't make your palate orgasm. It will~! In before some health nut tells me this shit's bad for me, motherfucker I KNOW it's not the healthiest thing in the world...only the best.

That's 'bout it. I know this post is shorter than usual, but I'm busy as a motherfucker and I'll pop ya some stuff later on, yeah? As is I'm gettin' used to the construction schedule and will be able to post during the week as well as the weekend, so hey - it's all good.


That Bastard

P.S. - best breakfast sandwich combination evar: fried onion bagel half, fried cheese bagel half (both from Costco), cream cheese, BBQ pulled pork (Kirkland Signature) with extra barbecue sauce, and two eggs. You're welcome.

P.P.S. - Jo, if'n yer readin' this and notice I didn't post the way I was going to, I FUCKING FORGOOOOOT sorry braugh. Hit a nyukka up, mah mermaid homeboy, and remind me sometime 'bout what the hell it was. I completely forgooooot hnnnnng. Godommot Fronk...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

...wasn't gonna actually blog TBO today, buuuuut~~!

I'm actually looking forward to Real Steel and Puss n' Boots.

Now, y'all KNOW how I feel by now about sequels and, well...just about anything new from Hollyhood. BUT, butbutbut...the inner fanboy within me is freakin' the fuck out, the inner fratboy is also freaking the fuck out, and my violence side is saying "NEEDS MORE ROBOTS BEATING EACH OTHER UP!"

I fucking LOVED those robot-fighting shows a few years back because of that shit. Junkyard Wars, Robot Wars, that other one...they were all good for me, especially when certain characters (mainstays that would either be multi-champions or just regulars to the shows) would show up.

I actually blame my dad for this. We were never into, like, MONSTER TRUCKS or whatever but he WAS a rather huge fan for the whole Gravedigger versus Bigfoot thing. Then there's just all those giant robot shows from Japan, y'knowwhatImean? Then the mecha-pilot vidyuh games that have been around since, hell...the friggin' 80's really.

Just all of these are startin' to really come to the fore lately ever since they stopped those goddamned Colombiana commercials ("dey killed mah front of meeeeeeh!" Do you guys have ANY idea how many times I've said that in a mockingly high voice while the commercials playing? Hate it hate it hate it.) and started playing the ones for Real Steel.

Oh god, they even have character names for the various robots and special/featured moves!!! Suffice it to say every single part of my psyche WANTS THIS MOVIE TO HAPPEN...except for my bitter cynic, which says Hollywizzle is gonna fuck this one up too.


Seriously, anything which shows the Hollywood execs what we want more of can NEVER be bad. Otherwise we'll end up with more crap remakes.

Unlike, say, GOOD remakes like Conan the 3D.

Have I mentioned how much I love that movie? Even now, like...a week or two afterwards, I'm still crowing about it to peoples on the Internuggets and over the phone. Just randomly too.

It's kinda weird how many times someone else randomly brings up Conan too...'s kinda weird.

Illuminati tricks? Maybe.

So, gotta warn you guys...I might have to take a month off or so due to personal reasons. Depends on what happens.

I know this may be kind of a shock, but I wanna just make sure it doesn't hit y'all outta nowhere. If this hits ME outta nowhere, I don't wanna be on here whining about it and burdening the rest of YOU with my personal bullshit. I'm supposed to be an entertaining host, and I'll be damned if I don't leave at least SOME of you happier or angrier that you read my walls of text.

On the other hand, my tears are my own, and I firmly believe that it's okay for dudes to long as they get a grip on their damn self after awhile, and do it where it won't bother other people. Hell, tears are lubrication for the soul, right?


...anyway, I'll let y'all know if things clear up or not. I'll keep postin' until the BOOM hits, but when it does I'll at least post up a "closed due to gettin' my shit together" sign or somethin', y'know?

Hey, I just wanna say thanks to y'all for keepin' up with me. In this era of "Me too me too!" and where everyone is a fucking e-star, seein' yer comments actually does give me a nice little pick-me-up and makes me want to do better, to give y'all more to read and listen, to watch and enjoy.

Except for two breeds of you fuckers. The ones who post the SAME DAMN COMMENT ON EVERYTHING (seriously, keep that shit away from my litblog, I'll fucking delete it - you know who you are!) and the ones who make zero-sense unless you're a bot.

Yeah, you.

Hey man. Not cool. Not fucking cool at all.

Anyway I do hope I continue to prove to be worthy of your attentions and, in the very least, to be entertaining to you.


So, y'all notice that in a few, I'm 'bout to update my featured links with a regular's blog heah. Funny story, I didn't even know she was female for the longest time, her blog is just THAT passionate towards physics, genetics, biology and just SCIENCE in general!

Seriously, she blogs about some of the most informative things I've ever seen, and I feel as if I might even do some personal research back in genetics again 'cuz of her! Of course with everything up in the air, I'll be just as happy to simply read her posts and learn.

'Cuz shiiiiiiit, son! Her science is AWESOME, seriously!

So go check out thetruthaboutGenetics's blog, "Understanding Genetics, Biology, and Physics," at and, of course, let her know who sent ya for a special discount.

25% more knowledge if'n ya drop That Bastard's name! Really!!

(note: not really, just jokin' and what-not. But wouldn't it be cool if she DID do it? I'm just sayin'...)


~That Bastard

P.S. - Didja notice I got new posts up at Soothe Your Freaking Beast, Man-Flavored Milk, The Pen Is My Sword, and Netflix This...'cuz, I got new posts up on all four.

Go read 'em, yah? Especially The Pen Is My Sword, I posted up four new song lyrics. I'm also finally gettin' a better idea of what I'm doin' with it, and like the format I'm using thus far.

Lemme know in the comments watcha think, as always~!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The lit blog is UP, for now.

I've got a hugefuck welcome page and two of my newest punk song lyrics up. I may or may not post somethin' else up tonight, but's a start. Besides, I don't want to post up EVERYTHING right off the bat, right?


Anyway, like I said I'll post up a coupla other things and call it a night. I gotta go make dinner, y'know?

SO, gimme a bit of yer time and check me out at:

Yet another entry in The World of Bastard, right?

For those of you who want to know what's the best way to keep up on my newest posts, you really should just burn me to yer RSS feed or sign up by e-mail or some junk. OOOOOOR just tune in HERE, at That Bastard On. Yeah, that'd probably be best: I usually update 'bout where my newest posts are just in the HUGEFUCK WALL OF TEXT I post up here.

Also, I DO have a twitter, a googles+, a tumblr and a faecbawks, y'know?

I usually have the info about in the side bar or in direct posts like this.

To my new followers, 'sup 'saaaaap! Velkommen to mein blogs. I do hope you enjoy reading, 'cuz writing is all I'm able to do right now.

To my old followers, I ain't got nothin' but love for ya. I've got a new featured link coming up soon alongside new posts to throw up for Soothe and Netflix This, as well as a new offering to throw at The Pen Is My Sword. For now, go read how I do punk lyrics.


~That Bastard

EDIT: OH HORY FLEAKING CLAP, NEON WAS RIGHT! To all my readers, I apologize for the spotty word verification, I honestly thought that shit was taken care of already. For the record, it is NOW...and if they're still poppin' up, I'd really like to know.

'Cuz I just went through and deactivated every last one of 'em. If ANY of them have word verification up again, then it's proof that somethin' else is goin' on. Yes, I am that paranoid.

For my regulars, I thank you for puttin' up with my shit the way you have. Geez, I would've been complainin' like a mutha the MOMENT I saw someone with word verification~!

'Til next time~!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Well here we are!

OKAY, sosososo I think I've ribbed Pope Tim enough. So with THAT stated, who's up for a new That Bastard On, eh? New Featured Link is UP by the way, go check out Not Worth Mentioning by our local commenter, Copyboy, at:

Go show love and let 'im know who sent ya, yah?

First and foremost, since NO ONE said anything about whether or not I should post up a literary blog (lol YET ANOTHER BLOG), I'm going to just go ahead and do it. I have some lyrics I haven't posted up at my DA and honestly I haven't been there in, like, forever anyway. So I'll pop it onto my Tumblr (which I haven't been on in ages as well) and the sixth blog whose name is in production.

Just to throw it out there, some of them started as poems but then became lyrics instead. I fucking hate my writing sometimes.

Now, to hit on the subject of commentary and such. Thanks to all y'all who shared your insight with me on that, and know that I'm taking your advice to heart. Basically I'll continue what I'm doing anyway, just commenting everywhere I want...but am in the process of pruning my goddamned dashboard down. In the very least, I'm going to comment less on those who DON'T hit me back, but in the very least I do enjoy their writing, y'knowwhatImean? So that's already saved me some time just doin' THAT - got caught up today in nothing flat.

To my regulars (and those whom I'm a regular of), I do apologize for the lack of commentary as of late. I know some of you dig my OMFGWHOLESERIESOFPARAGRAPHS style of commenting and replies I'm known for, while some of you merely gawk at the sheer size and immensity of them, then shelve them for later reading. My current work schedule is all over the friggin' place, and I don't think the client knows what the schedule is like.

Seriously, we're gettin' told on a friggin' daily basis. If I don't hear anything by Friday about the coming Monday, I never know until I get a wake-up call at six a.m. with a frantic "OMG CAN YOU COME IN?!"

God I hate being a laborer. Yet it's fun compared to doing nothing, and getting into the clerical field just ain't workin' out thus far even WITH my new certification and credentials. On the other hand I ain't givin' up...I'm not one for anything but perseverance.

But I won't lie to you, friends. It can be hard as fuck sometimes to keep doin' what I do, to keep striving and trying. But shiiiit, c'mon dawg, it's me!

I'm friggin' That Bastard over here! If ANYONE can survive and thrive, it's me...just gotta swim through the crap first.

...eugh. Not a good mental image.

SO, I'm going to be re-designing the blogs into something more along my personal designs. It's not that I don't like these templates, but I've never been one for templates to begin with - I like doin' my own thing. As of late I've been posting up at my blogs and lookin' at 'em goin' "dude, how CAN I make this look better..."

We'll see, we'll see. If I could RocketDock and pimp out my Windows XP desktop, I can do THIS of all things, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

Continuing, I've also run across a small issue that needs to be dealt with. Some people simply don't know when I'm postin' up new stuff and, if so, which blogs. Now the question arises if it's on MY side or theirs that such information can be gained, but I'm certain there's a way (or three) for me to make it a bit easier on y'all to figure out where my newest stuff is and on which blog. So with that said, expect such a thing to occur, eh?

Until then, I'll install a chatbox and let you guys slander my good name and respectable blogs with YOUR filth instead of vice-versa.

OH, that reminds me...I've noticed that I don't get haters, only spam (every now and then - dude, whoever the hell you are you ain't makin' sense. Even in a babelfish kinda sense, you ain't makin' sense. I'm just sayin'.), so my question for you is: is it me? Do I somehow not engender enough hate in y'all or somethin'? Hell, if anything I seem to spread my rage around to some of YOU...which further reminds me, you should go read my The King of Fighters The Movie focused article on Netflix This.

Seriously, shit get's ragin'. To make matters worse, this was on top of my Judgement: Execution two-parter over at Soothe Your Freaking Beast, which did nothing to soothe ANYONE and seems to have only made their blood boil.

Good! That's what I'm here for, y'knowwhatImean? Spread the rage, get you pumped, and get a little crazy mydamnedself.


So yeah, a lot of THAT on top of just my initial anger at KoF and Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li which I WAS going to watch...until The Ace (one of my best bros and a co-PIC and possible contributor to a video games segment here) hit me back over the phone about it.

Suffice it to say we kinda went into a rage-spiral, our anger just feeding on each other as we went over the particulars of the article. Somehow the idea of me writing a real script for KoF (and Fatal Fury) came up, and now I have yet another project hanging around: one-hour episodic movies chronicling the rise of KoF up to the current story arc, keeping it true to the original content and storylines.

'Cuz man, nothin', and I do mean NOTHIN' is worse than seeing a character get fucked over by medium translation. I actually went back and re-read the article and I was so pissed there were glaring errors and words missing in several places.


Anyway, I'll be around, just probably going to post once a week until this work schedule gets figured out (the bastards)...'til then, stay cool y'all.

I'm still mad,

~That Bastard

P.S. - Did I mention I've also got a new Soothe Your Freaking Beast up? Got some sweet, sweeeet music from Detroit Metal City up there, and a quick overview of the awesomesauce that is that anime.

Also, to Genetics (, yes I do watch anime. And I'll only play Pokeymans with you if we can play in your yard.

'Cuz I'm like, "You wanna trade cards?"
Damn right, I wanna trade cards.
I can beat you 'cuz I got Cha-ri-zard.

Shit. Yeah. I went there. Oh fuck yes I did.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

...a quick, concise response to Pope Tim. (NSFW INCLUDED!)

WARNING: If you're easily offended or under the age of consent, you shouldn't be reading this post, yo.

Well, I know I'm known for humongofuckazoid posts and commentary and such, but y'know what? In response to Pope Tim's desecration of my blog, here is exactly the reason why I persecute and flame your people:

Flesh Volcano

Rarity's Cand-Flavoured Semen Shower


Sweetie Bell's Marshmellow Butthole

I told ya, bro. I'll respect your lifestyle decision on your blog.

Then you brought that shit to mine.

Yeaaaaah...this is comin' from a guy who enjoys anime occasionally. Your shit's retarded.

Now let's never talk about this again, okay bro?

Hey? Hey, dude?

I'm still yer homey. Just never, never ever, never ever EVER ask me to accept your shit, aight? 'Cuz naw man...just, naaaaaw man.

Monday, August 29, 2011

UGH, there.

Updated on all blogs I follow save for mine...

...I follow way too man goddamned blogs. How many of you actually keep up like this? HOW can you? I feel physically exhausted, and this is from a guy who exhausts OTHERS with his 2000+ word count blogs.

So yeaaaah, fun time de yah time take de bus rai-do. I may have to prune my dashboard down is all I'm sayin'.

It doesn't help that I seem to be locked in a permanent state of rage right now. After all, why am I answering blogs (except for my own, and I DO owe you guys comment sand will be doing so after this post...just gotta take a break from commenting, y'know?) and posting new blogs and such, eh?

Because I am NOT doing five to seven days of 14 hours of work a pop. I am NOT, apparently, making that 2 grand in 3 weeks. I AM recovering from a nicely-earned muscle strain though in my right bicep and, on that note, I once again have a bicep. Not as big as my old guns, but it's a start. Anyway, this means that I AM, on the other hand, back on my "Fuck every factory and warehouse in Bellingham" mode again.

Because, no seriously...fuck every factory, warehouse and temp worker agency in this piece. I've stated it before and I understand that it's an employers market right now...but that doesn't mean that it's acceptable to screw your peoples over at the merest whim.

I won't name names, not at all...but I will honestly re-affirm my promise, my word and my honor on it, that should I EVER be lucky (yes, at this point in fucking time lucky) enough to actually own my own business I'll NEVER be like these fucking bastards.

Well...silver lining time: at least it provided me a chance to test myself physically versus standing and working for periods longer than 8 hours and against loads heavier than 50 lbs (hell, I even manhandled a 120 lb. load...and that's pretty fucking good in comparison to my recent exploits). While I did receive all sortsa issues from DOING it, I proved I was able to rock out (with Ibuprofen) for twelve hours and could've gone on for another five if need be.

Sadly enough, it did, need be.

Anyway, you get the point.

SO, I've written some new songs and such and am growling and prowling around for where I left my USB cable so I could finally hook my goddamned digital voice recorder up and possibly just record some of the songs, vocals-only. I mean I really REALLY like one of the punk ones, and I've got another horror-based one (er...metal? rock style? you'd have to hear it to know what I'm talkin' 'bout) that's kinda slow but picks up during the chorus, just really awesome shit.

Yeaaah...perhaps I'll set that sixth blog up tonight with lyrics from my "A Night of Complete Horrorshow" concept album. I've only got four suggested songs left and have completed nine (technically ten) songs already. Lyrics, not the actual making of teh musics and such...

Gah, now I'm typing like Bill Cosby talks.

Anyway, lemme know in the comment section what y'all think about me either setting up a sixth blog for my various lyrics and such, or should I just post it up on one of the current five blogs?

You DO realize I have, like, five blogs right? Yeap. Five of 'em, and I (usually) comment back on all of 'em...SPEAKIN' OF WHICH~!


How do you guys go about communicating here? Do you comment directly on your own blogs (where said commenting originated) or do you pop over to the commenter's blog and just drop a comment back with information pertaining to the original comment? How do y'all go about doing it and what's yer personal thoughts on it?

Last but not least (for now) I've got a trailer to share with ya's. Check it:

Huuuuuh, while we're at it, a couple more vidyuh for ya:


I agree with the commentary, we need more translated rap battles. That in and of itself could save the corpse that is Rap.

Friday, August 26, 2011


So yeaaaaah, for the next three weeks (or so, possibly shorter possibly longer)if I don't A) update, B) comment back, or C) do ANYTHING really, it's 'cuz I'm workin' 14-hour days.


Tired and my feet hurt,

~That Bastard

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


This is the greatest commercial on the television right now.

You're welcome.


~That Bastard

P.S. - Franz Wheat Bread is the BOMB for frying up with some sweet, unsalted butter. I'm just sayin' yo...

Friday, August 19, 2011 faggotry, fucking guitarist drama AGAIN, and a whole bunch of shit.

OH SHIT SON, a brand new Epic Rap Battle just dropped! CHECK IT:

Those faggots. Not the original guys, they rocked the fucking paunch. No, these amazingly flaming hipster faggots they currently got doing their songs.

So far they've done two songs, I do believe. I don't really care though, nor am I gonna share it here. I'm just sayin', they suck balls. Friggin' donkey balls. Hard donkey balls.


I recently got my Microsoft 20derp Certificate for Outlook, Excel, Word and Powerpoint. I don't even HAVE these programs (I used the trial versions), but I figure that it'll help make me look a bit more professional resume-wise and hopefully be able to land a office job that can work around the whole going back to school thing.

With THAT stated, I'm headin' back to school, one way or another come Winter Quarter. So yeah, who knows maybe some of y'all who follow me and happen to be in the Bellingham area'll catch me 'round (DERP) University. Sure, they're far more expensive then (DERP) Tech College or (DERP) Other College, but still...they also (apparently) offer more opportunities.

And did I mention I'm going in to get my baccalaureates in either English or Communications - Broadcasting? I'll major in one, minor in the other and I don't know which I'll be doing yet. Just gotta fill out these transcript requests and all should go down well. While I'm there I'm going to IMMEDIATELY attempt to get into KUGS radio as well as continue with my band...

Which reminds me. I recently talked to a friend of mine, crowing about how awesome everything was being (despite the practice before this phone call took place - I'll get into it in a moment) and how we were THIS CLOSE to cutting a fucking demo (again)...when the last practice came about.

Suffice it to say, we had to get the fuck outta that garage and leave yet another stoner guitarist behind.

Okay, so...this current one was doing pretty good (ish). Musically, he was progressing quickly and had three songs down in what took our old guitarist SIX MONTHS to get down. We went out of our way to excuse some of his actions (having friends walking through the garage while practicing, sometimes disappearing for ten or twenty minutes - normally for dinner, but sometimes for bullshit reasons that we just said "whatever dude" 'bout), but the practice before last the dude was gone for a fucking hour.

He was also on and off the phone talking to his weed hookup, and we had to constantly bring his concentration back to the practice because he was jonesing that bad. Even worse, he apparently owes the guy money now because he forgot we already paid his mother for the rest of this month.

No excuses: our drummer went for a coupla months without marijuana in order to get a job, and y'know what? He never broke from his self-imposed exile from Mary Jane and even though he jonesed in between songs (seriously, we kept making fun of him and it was soooo funny every time he'd get this hang dog expression on his normally pretty face) he NEVER let it affect his play or concentration!!!

Now, while he was on the phone we actually heard two different things from time to time. I heard "crystal meth" (and he looked back at us with quite the guilty look) while my drummer heard black-tar heroin or somethin' like that. Either way, shit's gettin' rocky by now, y'knowwhatImean?

So yeah, there was that. Now the last practice...get ready for it.

We get there late (it happens from time to time, y'know?), and there's four local county sheriff's cars outside his house and one of his best friends in the backseat. Apparently the guy tried to run over a bicyclist or somethin'...all I know is that we're just watchin' while more sheriffs cars show up for whatever reason, they finally do whatever it is they convened to do and take off.

The spectacle over, we get into the garage and start to practice oh wait he apparently pawned his guitar and amp in order to pay his weed hookup from last practice.


So I drive back and pick up my punk-assed guitar and we hook him into the P.A. system. Sure it sounds horrible and you can barely hear the guitar over everyone else, but we could hear it, y'knowwhatImean?

He pulls his usual (by now) business of disappearing and we polish up a song we've been bantering around for awhile ("You Make Me Feel Old." Now I just gotta write the rest of the lyrics for it...) and it sounds great with only bass, drums and vocals...but we all wanna hear what he'll do with it with guitars.

It's been a fucking hour by now.

I get his mom and we find out that he is NOT in his bedroom but, rather, is in his brother's room playing Halo and listening to Lamb of God.

Suffice it to say, that was pretty much the desert wanderer that broke the camel's dong. We at first discussed sitting him down and straightening him out, but in the end we decided to just say fuck it and pack up the drummer's drum kit and P.A. system and get it the fuck outta there.

Things were going good (only his mother was there and he himself was at work), I was even able to snag the tabs we wrote for the songs we were working on...and as I'm writing up a "the garage looks nice/we didn't leave anything behind" receipt to recognize that we had left when his mother (who doesn't realize that we're just outta there and either doesn't know or doesn't want to know about her sons' emerging drug problem and concentration issues) begins to sprinkle into our carefree banter about certain things we did not know about.

Like how his friends were, indeed, simply going in and out of the garage...which they were supposed to not be doing. Also, friends were showing up without her knowledge. People were hanging out without her finding out until later on that night.

Suffice it to say both the drummer and myself smelled a setup arising, and got his rather expensive gear the fuck outta there.

So yeah...suffice it to say, I'm kinda just peeved right now.


I've also come across a group called BIMA (Bellingham Independent Music Association) who may be able to provide us with a session guitarist so we just get five or six songs fucking recorded and up for show. We need to get this damn demo done, and I FINALLY need to provide some product to show off on derp Youtubes, y'knowwhatImean?

We still need to find a jamspace though, for all that I might have found one that I might be able to live in as well. We'll see.

Just...gah, this fucking week. I hate Mt. Vernon with a burning passion of the Christ, and am still raging at the fucked up drivers on the road.

I'm looking at you, visiting Canadians. Y'all have always been bros over the 'Net, but maaan the moment you derp hurfers get on the freeway next thing I know I gotta turn into fucking Speed Racer with my PIC's dodge dynasty and perform complicated evasions every time one of you gets it into your skull that you should go ALL THE WAY THE FUCK TO THE CITY OF TULALIP in order to get to a casino even though you passed up like three or four perfectly good ones closer to the Canadian border and out of my fucking hair.

Also, now...we all joke about Amerifats here on the Internuggets. Shit, we all know this, it's a stereotype that a rising obesity rate ain't gonna disprove, especially overnight. Y'all fatties need to step yer game up and apply a little discipline.

With THAT stated, I've been seeing more and more fat people (and I don't mean fluffy, big, thick, obese or even anything other then WHATTHEFUCKSTOPEATINGYOUFATFUCK fat) with Canuckianland license plates.

Y'all need to step yer game up if'n yer gonna keep dissin' Amurrika, Canadialand, before you BECOME us or some shit.

Time to end it on a happy note: so I've been on-again off-again when it comes to WWE. Yeah, the fake wrestler bullshit fuck you I remember when that shit was kayfabe 24/7 and NO ONE SNITCHED! I was all about the Hulkster growin' up, and it always stung when he turned heel at WCW.

Of course, the MOMENT he became a face again I immediately jumped all over his shit, runnin' around yellin' OH YEAAAAH BROTHER! at the top of my lungs. Yeah, you imagine a large grown man runnin' around doin' THAT now.

Nowadays (especially after the Attitude Era, which is when I stopped watching when that glorious era ended) it's all cookie-cutter family-oriented bullshit...but man.

I've actually grown to love a coupla characters they got runnin' around, and let's not even TALK about the divas.

Holy shit, the things I would do to A.J....just, each time the divas wrestle it's time to fap like mad.

Out of all the heels I've ever seen, there are only a few (outside of the '80's where they were ALL awesome) I can honestly say I like. The Miz is just one of those motherfuckers that just DESERVES every bad thing to ever happen to him, and the dude's mouth is just pure cheez-whiz gold. Distilled essence of fuckin' narm, yo. Let's ignore the constant bullshit of "I'M AWESOME!" and instead may I point out his fucking taunts? Just...god, I can't even describe it and, strangely enough, find anything. If you can, hook a brotha up yeah?

And holy shit, speaking about awesome characters like Jessie and Festus BISCUITS AND GRAVYYYYYY, holy crap these guys were awesome. Didn't they split them up for some stupid reason?

My god, bring back the giant wrestling retard genius already!

Speaking about giant retards, I kinda like where the current storyline is goin' for all that it's NOTHING like the Attitude Era stories, but maaan Triple H as an exec, Kevin Nash showin' up and pulling a number on CM Punk?

There's three more good characters right there for ya. Hell, they even got Mark Henry goin' on a rampage on Smackdown as of late, and that shit is fuckin' funny~!

And then there's all these new generation of wrestlers, like...I don't remember Sin Cara for shit, but MAN I dig his luchadore style. Same reason why I dig Rey Mysterio Jr. y'knowwhatImean? And oh god, Cody Rhodes, John Morrison, Randy Orton HOLY SHIT TALK ABOUT AN EVIL/AWESOME HEEL!

Seriously, the only person who strikes me as being a darker heel would be Doink the Clown, whom the current Doink needs to step his shit up and get back to WWE.

Bring Dink and the other midget clowns and fuck WWE up right and proper once more.

Seriously, I would personally pay money to see them bring Doink back and get the current guy to be more of a badass like the original (er, actually second) Doink used to be. I wanna see the Doink that did THIS to Kamala:

God I miss the original WWF, back when they had humongous guys fighting each other and NO ONE looked like a MMA fucktard but, instead, relied on characterization and G.I. Joe-esque storylines (AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!) to actually be entertaining.

Never forget, mah nizzles: Macho Man Randy Savage died to ensure the Apocalypse would be stopped. We all owe him and the entire WWF '80's roster a vote of thanks, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?


~That Bastard

P.S. - I know, I's WWE athletes are definitely top-level. I never said otherwise, y'knowwhatImean? The "wrestling" nowadays is far more technical and impressive then the shit they pulled back in the day...BUT today's WWE star looks like every other MMA retard who'd ever stepped into a ring.

In b4 MMA fantards defending it by saying "SPORT ENTERTAINMENT IS KREIG!" because y'know what? That shit's as scripted as fuck. I remember when the UFC actually had real martial artists fighting each other...but that's for another post, y'knowwhatImean?

Monday, August 15, 2011

...a new featured link, bachelor chow, goin' back to school and jerbs.

Featured Link:

SO, sososososo, here we are again! For whatever raisin you find me entertaining enough to continue reading my shit, so bloggan-a-go-go, baby!

I will do my best to not fail you!

Above all, hello to my new readers. Don't piss in the corners, I got cold beer in the fridge for guests since I myself do not drink, and above all take off your goddamn shoes before you just waltz all up in here. Keep it clean, y'knowwhatImean?

Speakin' of which, it is hard as FUCK to do dishes with cold water. Now, I'm an uber-hygenic motherfucker...hell, it could be said that I'm downright metrosexual when it comes to cleanliness. I like my loofah, I like dat Axe Snake Peel body wash, and I dig my Garnier Fruictis products.

Me and my partner-in-crime have this super-awesome shower head with, like, 14 different settings or whatever and there's two that I particularly enjoy: massage-pounding jets and "rainfall" pounding jets. Either way I can easily eat up the hot water with a 40-60 minute shower.

Bathing? Shit yeah son, I'll do that shit. Gimme a book, some tunes and you'll never get me outta the tub.

Now, when I embarked on my little "proving mission" by surviving in this shithole for at LEAST two months, part of the issue is that I'm living without hot water. Some of you (especially you countrified motherfuckers) are all, "AWWW Bastard, that's not that bad!" yes it is shut your whore country mouth.

Seriously, shit SUCKS without constant hot water. I'm just thankful the "well water" this place draws from is only 7% nitrates...or was it 15%? Either way, that shit can kill pregnant women.

I ain't pregnant, but still...that shit worries me.

On the other hand at least I HAVE clean water, and am able to boil it when I need hot water to do some of my harder-to-clean dishes with...but it still sucks ass, and is good for my soul.

If I can tough this shit out, I can start reclaiming what I took for granted, y'knowwhatImean? The little pleasures in life like hot water, or actual air conditioning/heating or space to live and move about in. If I can train in a small-assed cabin like this, then I can survive anywhere.

So I've had a little JERRRRBS trouble recently. A particular warehouse wanted me at first...until I revealed that I wear nothing but black khakis. I don't even own one pair of blue jeans, y'knowwhatImean? Apparently that's all they want you to wear.

So yeaaaaah...shit's pretty interesting. I can go to one factory and make minimum wage at 40+ hours a week (but the work is harder) and I can just switch out when it's time to focus on college or I can go with the other one that wants me to work 40+ hours a week in a warehouse at minimum wage for a guaranteed 10-12 weeks.

I dunno, if I put my word on it it might give me troubles later on once the Winter Quarter starts...

SO, yes. I am indeed going back to school to get my friggin' baccalaureates, amongst other things. Yet another field switch for me, this time I'm going to focus on what I'm best at: either I'm gonna major in English and minor in communications - broadcasting or vice-versa. Either way I've already consolidated my old loans (am in the process?), have turned in my FAFSA, and will be applying to (NAME REVOKED DUE TO ANONYMITY) University as soon as possible. I should be able to get in with no trouble for Winter Quarter, but we'll see...I still gotta get transcripts from all four universities/tech schools I've been to (I'm fairly certain I have, like, two years worth of credits under my belt and can challenge the classes I need to in order to get sophomore, if not junior, status), and the application to the University I wanna be in costs 55 bucks.

Maybe I should put an Amazon Affiliates thing on my blogs? I dunno...

SO, wish me luck as I embark on returning to (DERP) University, eh? I'm pro'lly gonna need it. OH, and check this - I found out how to get my own radio show on the local student radio channel, KUGS. If I DO get my show (after, like, two semesters or whatever have you) then I'll be sure to at least make mention of who I might be. Hey, maybe I'll kinda do a crossed-up thing between my blogs and that show, eh?

I SHOULD DO A FEATURED LINK POST naw I'll do it here amongst my normal posts. Anyway, Neon...what can be said 'bout this motherfucker? Badassed Unreal Tournament videos, hell I wouldn't've even LEARNED of UT3 if not for him! Check him out, tell him That Bastard sent ya, eh?

Show love to yer fellow bloggers, mah niggas!

With all THAT stated, welcome to my new segment for That Bastard On...

Bachelor Chow~! Wanna cook like That Bastard (who cooks awesomely)? Well dig this recipe...

...naw fuck it, I'll tell you 'bout fryin' yer peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I swear I'll EVENTUALLY reveal to you the contents of my Nightmare Oatmeal and Terror Oatmeal, but in the meantime lemme hit ya with a lil' somethin'-somethin'...ya see, it wasn't until recently that I re-gained my lifelong love of good ol' P.B. n' J. It doesn't help that my PIC snagged the most DELICIOUS strawberry preserves a small while back from Costco, and while she's in California it's kinda up to me to eat the fuck out of it.

And eat the fuck out ot it I WILL! I mean I was honestly going to wait until she came back, but now that she's going to school up there for two semesters...someone's gotta man up and do what needs to be done.

That man is ME!

So with that stated, I made a big-assed peanut butter and strawberry preserves sammich on wheat bread, and I don't mean your normal peanut butter: this is big-assed jars of extra-crunchy Jif.

Fuck you creamy haters, soft-toofed bitch niggas.

So suffice it to say, I made me a monster mamma-jamma sammich, right? But then I smeared unsalted butter on one side of the sandwich, slapped it in the pan, smeared butter on the other side and flipped it when it was time.

Boom, fried peanut-butter and jelly sandwich. And you know what?


Seriously, it was some SERIOUSLY good shit goin' on! Just uuuuuuuungh PEANUT BUTTAH ACTIVAAAATE so fucking good I'm gonna go make one right the fuck now.

You haven't tried such a thing yet? What, you gotta better PBnJ recipe? Hit a brotha up in the comments section and lemme know 'bout it.

So yeah, it's time for a badassed sammich! Catch you guys 'round next post, eh?

OHHHHH, before I forget, I got new shit up at Soothe and MFM (don't I always?) and my PIC is plotting the next Bellingham Jerk...though I might beat her to the punch. Not enough activity on that puppy, except that I'm kinda in a position where I CAN'T eat at as many restaurants that deserve my CURSE WORDS powers. I'll get to 'em though, have no fear mein freunds~!

Also, I've got the Iron Maiden Extravaganza megapage ready, but it's not time to put it up just yet. I've got some Vocaloid mess up on Soothe right now, and if you don't know what they are you should check it out, yah?

Much love, peace, and all dat peanut buttah grease!

~That Bastard

Friday, August 12, 2011

...featured blog, peeing on 11 year old cancer patients, and the Fresh Prince.

Well, that pretty much summed up this post in a nutshell. Let's chat, shall we?

First and foremost, you need to go see and go check out mah nigga, Rask. The dude has some pretty sweet hacks if that's yer thing for all kinds of MMO's and other nonsuch.

He's also got, like, four other blogs, each one primed for entertainment (a.k.a. - Youtube reposts). What makes matters worse, he's even covered videos that I had planned to cover (Epic Rap Battles of History, for instance) before I could! Motherfucker's fast on the draw, yo.

Now he's currently in hiatus due to personal reasons (he had to spend a significant chunk of time working on a script or hack or somethin' for a game called Vindictus), but he was also the first blogfriend I made here. Dude gave me more than a few tips and quite a bit of help gettin' starting here, and this is just my little way of repaying that favor, y'knowwhatImean?

Anyway, the Featured Link is basically that...a way for me to pimp other blogs. Mainly just post up a little bit more 'bout the blogs that I personally read and, if you ain't, now's a good time to check 'em out. I'm just sayin'...

SO, sososo. This:

Now, let's set aside the whole "he's 18 and is drunk on an airplane" and also the whole "minimum drinking age should be lowered to military age of consent" issues...I'll get to that in a moment. Instead, let's focus on the fucked up (AIR-QUOTES!) "journalism" going on here. When I first read the title alone, like everyone else I thought he just pulled an R.Kelly and I got myself ready to laugh like a baws.

Instead, what do you find? He was A) drunk, B) drunkenly pissed on someone, and C) it was an 11-year old cancer patient. Still, doesn't that title strike you as being a little bit misleading?

I've had an issue with spotty journalism ever since I first went to college in California and experienced nothing but...only way I can describe it is a vicious hatred of police by the college newspaper group.

Now, my old town's cops weren't inexactly the most decent (most of them were crooked as shit, BUT there were good cops too, y'know?), but there were enough to balance out the bad cops. On the other hand, the newspaper group would scrutinize and stomp on every single bad deed the police performed while ignoring ANY kind of good. I've rampaged for quite some time about the "liberal media bullshit," but whether or not they have a political agenda isn't the's that they have a political agenda AT ALL.

Journalism used to mean something, to pursue the truth, hard cold facts, without bias or political leaning. At least, that's the way it's supposed to it's a fucking show like anything else. Ratings is all that matters, and they're willing to sacrifice integrity in order to gain them.

Internet news? Shit son, that's just rife with jackassery.

I'm sure there's new, fresh, young journalists out there who are as of yet unbiased and unblemished, their eyes fresh and bright with the promise of uncovering the truth no matter where it is. I can only hope y'all remain unjaded and innocent...but there ain't none of us innocent nowadays. We're born into filth and we're immediately subjected to ignorance and bitterness (yes, I'm quite point-blank laying the blame on the parents of our generation...and the previous one. Probably the one before that, but that's another post entirely...) even if your parents DID believe in WHUPPAN DAT ASS and STAND IN THE FUCKING CORNER, y'knowwhatImean? Oh, and let's not forget DO YOUR GODDAMN HOMEWORK. That's my favorite, and one I only had to hear once (like just about everything else).

...where was I? Oh yes, I'm certain there's journalists out there who truly follow a path of honor and decency, with that fire burning in them to uncover the truth and present it without bias. If y'all are out there, don't stop.

Don't let 'em ruin you. Don't fall into that abyss. Look into that yawning darkness and scream your name...but don't ever fall in.

We need you too much.

NOW...enough melancholy, yes? Good! Let's talk more 'bout pissing on 11 year old cancer patients...

SO ANYWAY, yeah, duuuuuude, really? Okay, I'm one of those people who believes that if a person is old enough to sign up for the military they should be old enough to be allowed to drink! Now, eight drinks is either gonna be not enough or too much, and OBVIOUSLY it was a bit much for this youngster.

But didn't the attendants notice that A) he was 18 and B) he's had too fucking much to drink? Seriously, this strikes me as being something that could've easily been handled early on, only it was allowed to bloom forth into the fuckfruit that it became.

Seriously, shit's lookin' bad y'all.

So yeah, you read the article, didn't you? My only real question is why didn't the father beat the ever-loving crap outta the guy the MOMENT he whipped out his junk? The fight should've started right there if the motherfucker was doing his job. I'm just sayin', self-defense extends to your immediate family members...and 18-year old or not, rich-assed U.S. sports team or not, I'm fairly certain EVERYONE would've been forgiving if he had just up and whupped some ass. Plus his 11 year old cancer-riddled daughter wouldn't've gotten R.Kelly'd the way she did.

Good job protecting your daughter there, jackass. Thankfully and hopefully, I'll never know what it's like to be that weak and be in a position like that...

So I wake up and turn on the television. This happens from time to time and usually in that altered state of between sleep and wakefulness I stumble across shows that I probably normally wouldn't.

I watched the first episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air. All I can think about now is...what happened?

My people, what the fuck happened to us? I'm sincerely asking y'all because it's driving me insane.

I don't honestly remember the rest of the series except for certain scenes, but...there wouldn't be a show like this nowadays. The racial divide, the widening gap between, Fresh Prince would've gone a completely different and darker route. Thankfully it was the right show for the right time from what I remember, and wasn't all about Thug Life (even though that nigger shit was growing by then).

Back then black people still kept niggers under control and out of the limelight. They were a joke, and should've stayed that way.

So...what the fuck happened? Was George Orwell right but in the wrong way, that instead of using pain and the threat of military force against their own people the government chose instead to use the television and the media to influence us to change in such a dramatic way?

Was it simply the right moment for music, literature, television and the media combined with a leniency in parenting techniques and presence (if not the outright lack thereof)?

I speak of blame, and it CAN be easy to single out certain individuals for degrading America's culture and honor. But it's not just these individuals...I've spoken before of 1940-1960, how in that twenty year span something changed in the dynamics of our political strata. Maybe I'm wrong though? By all means speak up and lemme know in the comments section. After all, that's why this particular blog exists, yes?

During that span of years there were MANY who would see to the downfall of an entire culture, the downfall of an entire country. The hell do I know 'bout it though, I'm just a punk writer on the internet...

Anyway, don't mind my downward spiral into conspiracies and such. Let's chat, shall we? Hit me up in the comments section and I'll answer it in the next post...or should I just comment back in my own comment section?

How DOES that work, I you guys check back the way I do? Hell, I'll bring it up in the next post if anything...'cuz I actually do go back and check to see if there were any responses by the blog owners to my commentary, for no other purpose than there SEEMS to be a dialogue going, but one stunted by the medium itself.

Meh, end ramble.

~That Bastard

Thursday, August 11, 2011

....bloggan stuffs~!

So it was brought to my attention recently by the Unreal Tournament video-editin' Neon (check 'em out at: that my labels are all over the place.

For what it's worth, please bear with me as I go throughout my blogs and fuck with 'em, addin' commas in the labels and is, every time I DO attempt to screw with it the previous tags show up instead of the "current" one I want to use.

If my blogs seem kinda wonky, they'll be back up and runnin' soon!

Got a new Netflix This! in hopes of distracting you from my newb mistake~! I'll be hittin' y'all up with new stuff all across the board, including introducing a friend's blog once it's up and running.

In the meantime, I got commas to add and dishes to scrub. Thanks for hanging with me thus far, I swear to continue to bring you CURSE WORDS and lengthy posts.

Remember, if a lady tells you that it's the motion in the ocean not the size of the boat SHE'S LYING the girl is lying to youuuu!!!! A wave can easily capsize a crappy raft, but a luxury liner can ride that shit out~!

Bad advice brought to you by,

~That Bastard

EDIT: NYO-HO-HOOOOO, there we go! No word verification (there's, like, five of you why the hell do I need it?), labels all taken care of...Neon just won him/herself a post coverage (Rask got number one slot, sorry yo)~! I'll talk more 'bout it on the next post of That Bastard On...

In the meantime, enjoy your stay chillin' out amongst my blogs, eh?

Monday, August 8, 2011

...startin' a band and the power of failure.

I think I've actually stated it before in my other blogs that I'm a huge fuck up of a failure. It's really my only talent (outside of, perhaps, writing if I could just do something with that) outside of being generally awesome. Seriously, when I'm bent to a task (programming, fighting, loving, really the only thing I haven't gotten badassed at while growing up or even as an adult is drawing - I consistently suck at artwork) I surprise and entertain to the extent that I'm able to assimilate and utilize knowledge and training.

Yet I find myself pigeonholed like it's not even funny. Because of my work history (despite my extensive skill set) I'm fuckin' doomed to forever be a factory worker. Not even a GOOD factory worker, but the kind that only gets minimum wage and feels lucky that the company gives 40 hours a week.

Hopefully getting this free certificate (good god THANK YOU for Worksource!) in Microsoft 2010 Office will, in the very least, open a few doors and allow my fast-typing, awesome-filing, phone-checkin' ass a chance at a nicer job. But then again this isn't even anything new, I'm sure there's plenty of other personal blogs with that exact kind of complaint, y'know?

We'll see. At this point a waiter makes more through tipping then most ground-level factory jobs. Might just switch over to THAT and just deal with hoity-toity upper crust bastards.

Hopefully they won't find this blog! Of course if they do I'll pro'lly give 'em a good ol' fashioned mug full of CURSE WORDS upon request.

On a separate note, nothing sucks harder then starting a band, especially in the fields of Heavy Metal, Hard Rock and Punk in an era where only screamo bands seem to get any kind of facetime. It's not even that hard because of the requirements, only in the drama inherent in getting everyone together, finding a jam space, ensuring everyone gets to practice and then loooong hours of practice.

On the other hand, I'm certain that it'll be worth it in the long run. In the very least after only two practice sessions (the first was for four hours, the last was roughly five) we sound way tighter, our timing is good and everything SOUNDS it's just about ensuring the guitarist remembers which riff goes where. The bassist, the drummer and myself? Shit son, it's ON~! The guitarist is great though, a real talent, and I'm sure he'll get it two practices from now...for now we're just focusing on these first three songs.

In the meantime, I'm also being scouted for two other bands as a male vocalist (not that either of them are established bands...well ONE of them is, the other is this reggae band that at least needs a lyricist, but the guitarist keeps insisting on me being the vocalist for some reason. Me. In a reggae band. Huh.) in which one WANTS to become a paid band while the other one is a bit more established and actually plays at venues.

Plus they do rock, which already puts them ahead of the reggae band when it comes to my attentions!

We'll see, once again. Never turn any avenue of exposure or experience down, y'knowwhatImean?

I dunno. It seems exciting, it seems like I might be successful or will become so...but right now I'm not. It's like I've said before, when I get slapped down I get back up again and keep goin'. If I fall, I simply roll and get to my feet...but in the back of my mind, after the crisis has been dealt with or I've had to do what I've had to do, I always worry about the next time I fail. Will I get up as fast then?

We'll...see. I reckon.

As far as I know, I'll simply deal with it as it comes.

Anyway, I'll catch y'all around, eh? Not a lot to post about this time around, but next time I'll post up some good stuff. OH, also expect a new review from my Partner-In-Crime concerning another restaurant she stumbled across and then wallowed in loathing for. Also, if you're paying attention to your Google Reader or following me or my RSS feeds, then you know I've got a new Soothe posted, new MFM up, and also a whole new Netflix This! posted and up.

'Til next time, y'all!

~That Bastard

P.S. - Expect a "Hey, check this blog out" post next time. Yer never gonna guess who~!

Friday, August 5, 2011

...summer colds, VORKING OUT and Costco!

SO, sosososo...I've been keepin' what I call "My Absolutely True Muscle Diary." Inspired my bro Eddie Nance ( who actually has the balls to publish HIS workout diary for all to see, I decided that maybe it WOULD be a good way of keeping track of my progress and improvement. I'm doin' it my way, and that's what matters in the end, y'knowwhatImean?

As soon as I did it though, I got a summer cold. I'm gettin' over it (no more cotton-headed...ness...!) but yeah, I'm lookin' at it and it just looks like I lazed off this week.

Meh, I'll get back onto my routine starting next week.

Funny story, I actually do my VORKING OUHUT while watching stuff on Netflix. I reckon that's one way of doing it, y'know? I've heard about others who have done this, and honestly as long as yer gettin' yer VORKING OUHUT in it doesn't matter if you're listening to an Ipod, the idiot box or your own tortured breathing...

Well, honestly I HATED running without music. Once I got a sandisk MP3 player (DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH I bought it from a friend for five bucks and this little motherfucker is tougher than two-thirds of the dudes I met on the bus route) I swear my life changed for the better.

Anyway, stretching and increased workout routine (once in the morning, once at night, four or five times a week depending on how I'm feelin') starts tomorrow~! Gotta get back to that point of badassery I was at three years ago...

So, interesting time at band practice recently. Got an invite to a local musician's studio to do some vocal work, and THAT is gonna kick ass...but I'm honestly focused on my band and gettin' this album out by Christmas time. One song is definitely down, but it's also the shortest out of the entire thing (clockin' in at only one minute twenty seconds), though we DID do a on-the-fly remix that lasted well over three minutes. It also kicked major ass! Now we gotta get the next two songs done and then start postin' 'em on the youtubes...

Not that I can talk about that much HERE! Even now gotta watch my anonymity, y'knowwhatImean? Y'all will find out eventually.

Condensed soup sucks WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I BUY SOUP WHILE I WAS AT COSTCO?! I might be losing e-cred (DEFINITELY street cred) just by talking about Costco but y'all gotta understand...they got the cheapest, cleanest gas in all of Bellingham (by a clear five cents from the next cheapest gas station, and certainly cleaner) and some of the best stuff for what you pay for. Muffins for daaays bro! Two gallons of 2% milk at $4.90 where everywhere else it's 3-4 bucks a gallon. Not per gallon, A gallon! I've got the hook up on hot links that'll beat yer ass inside out, dawg!

No, seriously I'm STILL eating food from the freezer that we bought two months ago (Hash browns and waffles, namely), y'know? And they're still good! The prices are consistent, and I don't have to freak out about catching them at sale - the worst that happens is I might buy something and the NEXT week the item will have a coupon come out. Only once did this happen where I was all "damn, Damn, DAAAAAMN!" and it wasn't THAT bad, y'know?

Good God, I'd be makin' money right the hell now just from buyin' gas from there if I was able to acquire a credit card through Costco! As is, both of our credit scores suck. What can one do, eh?

Seriously, even if you don't have a shit-ton of money or space to invest into this kind of thing, there's still plenty of savings to find at Costco! Even better, like yours truly That Bastard they always keep it local too. That means a lot to me, personally.

Ugh, Sunday I get to look forward to an extra long practice session and new posts for Soothe Your Freaking Beast as well as Man-Flavored Milk (we don't talk about that), and I've got somethin' special comin' up for Netflix This!...namely, a "WTF?!" blog post.

You'll just have to see once it comes out, eh?

OH, for those of you who actually have a tumblr, I've been posting up my crap poetry over there. Any opinions? Should I just post 'em over here in yet another blog or somethin'? I know there's plenty of literary blogs...and I HAVE kicked around the idea of a literature blog, post up some of the stuff that I would usually post in my old DeviantArt account.

Lemme know in the comments, eh? Let's chat.

OH, far as remarking back to people on one's own comment section, does that work? Like, do you guys check back on blogs you've commented on to see what the owner replies with?

Just curious, 's all.

Anyway, hit me back when you get this message, y'all!


~That Bastard

Tuesday, August 2, 2011 beginnings, y'know?

SO, here we are! Freakin' blog number, while this one is probably going to undergo subtle design changes as I post along, it's pretty much up and running.

So...sososo, now that I HAVE this "personal" blog up, what the fuck to do with it?, hmmm. I dunno. I HAD an idea, but kinda lost it while writing Man-Flavored Milk (we don't talk about that one).

Perhaps let's start with a few stats I CAN give you (gotta stay anonymous, y'knowwhatImean? For The Bellingham Jerk) and the links and info to my usual NETWERKZ stuffs.

>I work out once every other day, and am attempting to increase it to twice a day every day. I've gotten stronger, but I'm still not at the point where I want to be.

>I believe in a balance of all things. Vidyuh gaemes, watchin' stuff on the t.v., working out, running/jogging, making love, fighting - everything should be in balance. The inner universe should mirror the outer universe, so it's important to realize your surroundings, whom you hang out with, and what you put into yourself (sexually and gastrointestinally...which, for some, is also sexually.), but with THAT said if your country believes in freedom and personal liberties then go ahead and do whatever the fuck you wanna do.

>I'm very pro-American, but I'm more pro-personal freedoms than I am any single country. I believe in nationalism, and am proud of my country's accomplishments...but I'm unwilling to turn a blind eye from our mistakes both current and historical, plus I'm swift to note any time my own personal freedoms are being taken advantage of. With THAT stated, fuck yo' couch: it is the nature of mankind to defeat its' neighbors, its' enemies, then take over their lands and replace their culture. I actually agree with the African (and many other tribal types) ideal that if I defeat you, then my god is greater than yours.

I'm just sayin', they have somethin' there...

From a personal point of view, so long as no one else (not even my own government, greedy lazy bastards) dares attempt to infringe on my own personal freedoms I wont' have to get all political activist and/or violent on their ass.

>I'm a depraved bisexual sadistic ex-polygamist affianced to a good Christian girl. We're waitin' 'till marriage (for her), and yes I have been incredibly successful with my strength of will...and yes, for the past three years it has been an absolute temptation and a trial. Ugh.

>I am incredibly well-read and I enjoy writing as well. I'm lit as fuck and angry as hell.

>I rage easy and quickly at the drop of a hat, BUUUUT I also believe in self-control, self-accountability and self-responsibility. I have never hit a woman but am not afraid to defend myself should the need arise. My father taught me the sweet science of fucking a target up, and while he has killed five men in his lifetime (all with good pretenses, all while serving or as was his duty) I have hospitalized five men with my bare hands, never with a weapon.

I dunno if that makes me better than him or not, but I do ponder every now and then which of us would win if I were able to go back in him tons though.

>I'm a huge fuckin' geek. Just...period.

I'll actually have opinions and whining and other such, probably in response to other blogs...whom I'll pro'lly also direct your attention to. No reason, just doin' my part to ensure that other blogs get attention as well, y'knowwhatImean? Share and share alike, friendo.

>I'm in a band, despite all the ups and downs of just gettin' it together. Trust me, it's been one fucked up ride...but hopefully it'll just make our first album that much sweeter. Can't tell ya what genre we're in (LOL GENRES) or the name of the band, anonymity and all that...but eventually I'll come out and say who I am, just not right now. Not so long as there's restaurants that NEED to be destroyed by my reviews. I'm just sayin'....

ANYWAY, you wanna find me elsewheres? Here ya go:

Tumblr: thatbastardfrombellingham
Twitter: @ThatBastardFB
Facebook(oh god do I even check this thing?!):/ThatBastardFB

And here at Blogger/Blogspot, I just keep spewing out WORDS WORDS WORDS except nowadays I'm actually posting trailers from Derptubes as well. Hey, I'm always lookin' to improve, y'knowwhatImean?

Man-Flavored Milk (we don't talk about this one, it doesn't exist)

Soothe Your Freaking Beast (music blog where I post shit from Youtube...and the URL remains misspelled, heh)

The Bellingham Jerk (the one, the only, the original. Hail to the King, baby)

Netflix This! (I'm actually quite proud of this one, namely in how much I cover and deliver. I dunno, maybe it's just a selfish pride...but I really like writing these reviews and lists and such)

That Bastard On... (yeap, my newest project, one that will hopefully be worthy of my writing skill)

Well, until the next post, eh? Expect something LOLPOLITICAL or whatever have you, but namely just my personal bullshit concerning the newslets of the day.

I've already missed out on sooo much...I mean, Casey Anthony, Amy Derphouse killing 92+ kids, Anders is a Knights Templar/HE FIGHTS FOR EUROPE, Muslimsmuslimsmuslims, Draw Mohammed Day...

God, all I need now is Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson to friggin' fave my blogs, I will SO go off on them!!!!

Ain't nothin' but love for y'all.

~That Bastard

Monday, August 1, 2011

...Bad Days #1 (I'm certain to have more, you see)

Anger anger anger, wangst wangst wangst.

No, I'm seriously so friggin' pissed off right now just at the day I've had. Got a job, lost it 'cuz I can't find my fucking social security card (which I always keep on me, ALWAYS...but I honestly don't remember keeping an accounting of it during the second move last month) and apparently a signed print-out from the social security administration building doesn't fucking count.

Even if the social security people themselves say it does.

Then a line jumping hambeast whorehound in a fucked up caravan sport with a scratched up paintjob and three kids squalling in the background...well, not to repeat myself, jumps the fucking line in front of me and a loooong assed line behind me.

Suffice it to say there was quite a bit of growling from myself and others, yet she apparently ignored it and went about her business big-assed stomach first.

No, seriously, people like this is why America has such a horrible reputation. God, the friggin' Canuckians were there too, B.C. and Vancouver license plates all over the fucking place.

On the other hand, it gave me a chance to snag some time talking to the fine-assed dark-skinned honey in the jaguar behind me, and made some of my neighbors laugh with my recounting of the "hamstomached whorebeast whose spare tire's spare tire is made of ham and beef cutlets" and all that happened today.


Plus my pad is hot as fucking hell in the summer day, and I need a shower like it ain't funny.

Just...blah, I'll do something with this blog other than whine and bitch next post. Not to mention work on the design.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

...a survey!

If you wanna follow The Nerd Archives as well, check him out at:

SO, That Blond Guy, here's my answer to you.


1) Please state your name for the record?

That F. Bastard

2) If you were a penguin, on the other hand, what do you think your name would be? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

I'd be known as...uh...El Dorado. Yeah.

3) Would you consider your ears to be smaller than average, average, larger than average, or freakishly large?

They're fine the way they are.

4) Are you more of a Beatles or an Elvis fan? (If you answer the latter, please proceed to go set yourself on fire and then die in a hole.)


For the record I recognize The Beatles' contribution to musical history, I just think they're both overplayed and overdone. Hell, I have mad hate for anyone who has gotten rich off of songs that are basically "LA LA LAAAA," yet at the same time I'm completely full of nothing but hatred over all this overcomplicated super-technical bullshit that's just saturating the airwaves nowadays.

I'm not even that hard to please, I just like songs that are good 's all. Trying too hard, and trying too little, tends to both piss me off though.

5) Have you ever killed anyone? If so, did you do it with your bare hands?

No, but I've hospitalized five grown men with my bare hands. Not all at the same time (been jumped three times though, and have won all three fights) naw, but on the other hand each time they had it comin' to them.

I'm only a badass in self defense dontcha know...I never throw the first swing.

On the other hand, I DO tend to talk quite a bit of trash though...

6) If you could use any fruit to describe the size and shape of your head, what fruit would you use?

I dunno, a tomato? Er...not a pumpkin, admittedly.

7) Is there any famous person you'd go gay for? Please state their name. This question is, of course, purely for academic purposes.

I used to have two separate lists of dudes I'd totally go top gay for (Johnny Depp, Ontario Bloom pre-Children of God or whatever it was where he bulked up and no longer looked like a young lady) and merely want to snuggle with naked while he read me stories all night.

The second list had only one name on it.

And EVERY man would do the same damn thing just to hear Sean Connery's rumbling burr deep in his chest while he read stories ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A FLAMER AND ALSO IN THE CLOSET!

8) If you had the choice, would you rather go to space, meet Paul McCartney, scuba dive in the Pacific Ocean, or sleep with Carmen Electra?

I'd want to go to Carmen Electra, sleep with the Pacific Ocean, meet space and kill Paul McCartney.

Nevermind, I'd be happy just to kill Paul McCartney, then I'd drench your doorstep with the blood of a Beatle.

9) How long have you had your blog? What made you start one?

Funny story, I had actually meant to start a tumblr first. It seems that there's just this massive wave of people crossing over from DeviantArt to Tumblr, and I accidentally came to blogspot instead. Not that I've posted any of my crap here, but hey...I've come to meet some awesome people over the past two months and I've decided to stick it out here.

Besides, this place is nicer to write at rather than DeviantArt, despite that I've been posting crud there for the past damn near ten years.

10) What is your weirdest phobia?

None. I guess I have nothing but "normal" phobias that I have a good hand on. Sure I jump and will react, but I technically won't kill or attack at the initial onset of the fear.

Understand and embrace your phobia, stare it square in the eye. Only then can you master it.

...still hate spiders and snakes and darkness out of principle though.

11) Do you believe in God?

I believe that no man or woman alive can tell me about the afterlife, and the dead are either lying or selfish since they won't talk about it or tell the truth.

I've seen a ghost that actually said they don't believe in ghosts. Now you chew on THAT little bit of logic and you'll realize why I simply hate EVERYONE rather than waste my time hating on select groups of beings.

I'm certain that after I die some day I'll learn the truth. Hell, for me the question isn't if I believe in God or not, but if I just believe in nothingness or not.

That's the only thing I hope DOESN'T happen, that we simply spin out into nothingness. I'm simply too egotistical to think that the individual dies after death.

12) If you could start a collab. blog with any four bloggers, which ones would you do it with?

Naw man, that's okay. I'm simply not at that level yet, and still undergoing training. Hell, I'm simply waiting to see if I have a band still as of tomorrow.

13) If you were trapped on a desert island with the same four bloggers you mentioned in the last question, which one would you eat first? With which one would you procreate?

I'd devour them all and sleep with the corpses. Funny how the situation can make anything seem alright at the moment...

14) What's your favourite 80's movie?

OHHHHHH YOU BASTARD! I just did a whole post on this exact thing, reckon...uh...hmmm, if I had to choose it'd be a toss-up between both Conan movies, Robocop, and Police Academy.

15) What kind of music do you listen to?

Quite a bit of heavy metal, despite what my blog covers. Well...I reckon that's the best way to hear the kinda music I'm into, but I also like rare songs, y'know?

The kinda stuff you're just not gonna hear normally unless you go to a specific college or were there when it went down, that kinda thing.

16) Imagine that you open your bedroom closet one day and suddenly a portal opens up. You can't see what is at the end of the portal, but there is a totoro inside it motioning you to follow him. Would you go inside, even if it might mean you'll never come back?

I don't have a bedroom closet, time to shoot the invader with my .357 magnum. Smith and Wesson to the death of me!!!

17) If you're a woman, do you find facial hair on men attractive? If you're a man, do you find facial hair on woman attractive?


18) Do you like babies?

Babbies are alright by me. I'm not really one for other people's babbies or the idea that I should raise them, but if all I gotta do is hug 'em and bounce 'em on my knee and make stupid words and cooing sounds at 'em, then it's all good.

Hey, don't you fucking laugh - I'll fuckin' tear yer throat out!

19) What's the most violent thing you've ever done to an inanimate object?

I pissed on a guy after I beat his head into a wall.

...well, he was inanimate AFTER the fight. Drunk fucktard deserved it too.

20) What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?

Huh. I've failed too many times at too many things in my life to be able to pinpoint exactly what's the worst. No matter how bad things are, I usually get right back up and keep on goin'...

But embarrassing? I dunno, honestly.

21) Do you think the world will end in 2012?

If it does, I'll be ready for it, hopefully. If not, then things will continue to stagnate.

22) Have you enjoyed this survey? Be honest, now.

Meh. I've done surveys like this before.

23) Are you following The Nerd Archives? If not, DO YOURSELF THE FAVOUR OF DOING SO NOW.