Saturday, July 30, 2011

...a survey!

If you wanna follow The Nerd Archives as well, check him out at:

SO, That Blond Guy, here's my answer to you.


1) Please state your name for the record?

That F. Bastard

2) If you were a penguin, on the other hand, what do you think your name would be? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

I'd be known as...uh...El Dorado. Yeah.

3) Would you consider your ears to be smaller than average, average, larger than average, or freakishly large?

They're fine the way they are.

4) Are you more of a Beatles or an Elvis fan? (If you answer the latter, please proceed to go set yourself on fire and then die in a hole.)


For the record I recognize The Beatles' contribution to musical history, I just think they're both overplayed and overdone. Hell, I have mad hate for anyone who has gotten rich off of songs that are basically "LA LA LAAAA," yet at the same time I'm completely full of nothing but hatred over all this overcomplicated super-technical bullshit that's just saturating the airwaves nowadays.

I'm not even that hard to please, I just like songs that are good 's all. Trying too hard, and trying too little, tends to both piss me off though.

5) Have you ever killed anyone? If so, did you do it with your bare hands?

No, but I've hospitalized five grown men with my bare hands. Not all at the same time (been jumped three times though, and have won all three fights) naw, but on the other hand each time they had it comin' to them.

I'm only a badass in self defense dontcha know...I never throw the first swing.

On the other hand, I DO tend to talk quite a bit of trash though...

6) If you could use any fruit to describe the size and shape of your head, what fruit would you use?

I dunno, a tomato? Er...not a pumpkin, admittedly.

7) Is there any famous person you'd go gay for? Please state their name. This question is, of course, purely for academic purposes.

I used to have two separate lists of dudes I'd totally go top gay for (Johnny Depp, Ontario Bloom pre-Children of God or whatever it was where he bulked up and no longer looked like a young lady) and merely want to snuggle with naked while he read me stories all night.

The second list had only one name on it.

And EVERY man would do the same damn thing just to hear Sean Connery's rumbling burr deep in his chest while he read stories ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A FLAMER AND ALSO IN THE CLOSET!

8) If you had the choice, would you rather go to space, meet Paul McCartney, scuba dive in the Pacific Ocean, or sleep with Carmen Electra?

I'd want to go to Carmen Electra, sleep with the Pacific Ocean, meet space and kill Paul McCartney.

Nevermind, I'd be happy just to kill Paul McCartney, then I'd drench your doorstep with the blood of a Beatle.

9) How long have you had your blog? What made you start one?

Funny story, I had actually meant to start a tumblr first. It seems that there's just this massive wave of people crossing over from DeviantArt to Tumblr, and I accidentally came to blogspot instead. Not that I've posted any of my crap here, but hey...I've come to meet some awesome people over the past two months and I've decided to stick it out here.

Besides, this place is nicer to write at rather than DeviantArt, despite that I've been posting crud there for the past damn near ten years.

10) What is your weirdest phobia?

None. I guess I have nothing but "normal" phobias that I have a good hand on. Sure I jump and will react, but I technically won't kill or attack at the initial onset of the fear.

Understand and embrace your phobia, stare it square in the eye. Only then can you master it.

...still hate spiders and snakes and darkness out of principle though.

11) Do you believe in God?

I believe that no man or woman alive can tell me about the afterlife, and the dead are either lying or selfish since they won't talk about it or tell the truth.

I've seen a ghost that actually said they don't believe in ghosts. Now you chew on THAT little bit of logic and you'll realize why I simply hate EVERYONE rather than waste my time hating on select groups of beings.

I'm certain that after I die some day I'll learn the truth. Hell, for me the question isn't if I believe in God or not, but if I just believe in nothingness or not.

That's the only thing I hope DOESN'T happen, that we simply spin out into nothingness. I'm simply too egotistical to think that the individual dies after death.

12) If you could start a collab. blog with any four bloggers, which ones would you do it with?

Naw man, that's okay. I'm simply not at that level yet, and still undergoing training. Hell, I'm simply waiting to see if I have a band still as of tomorrow.

13) If you were trapped on a desert island with the same four bloggers you mentioned in the last question, which one would you eat first? With which one would you procreate?

I'd devour them all and sleep with the corpses. Funny how the situation can make anything seem alright at the moment...

14) What's your favourite 80's movie?

OHHHHHH YOU BASTARD! I just did a whole post on this exact thing, reckon...uh...hmmm, if I had to choose it'd be a toss-up between both Conan movies, Robocop, and Police Academy.

15) What kind of music do you listen to?

Quite a bit of heavy metal, despite what my blog covers. Well...I reckon that's the best way to hear the kinda music I'm into, but I also like rare songs, y'know?

The kinda stuff you're just not gonna hear normally unless you go to a specific college or were there when it went down, that kinda thing.

16) Imagine that you open your bedroom closet one day and suddenly a portal opens up. You can't see what is at the end of the portal, but there is a totoro inside it motioning you to follow him. Would you go inside, even if it might mean you'll never come back?

I don't have a bedroom closet, time to shoot the invader with my .357 magnum. Smith and Wesson to the death of me!!!

17) If you're a woman, do you find facial hair on men attractive? If you're a man, do you find facial hair on woman attractive?


18) Do you like babies?

Babbies are alright by me. I'm not really one for other people's babbies or the idea that I should raise them, but if all I gotta do is hug 'em and bounce 'em on my knee and make stupid words and cooing sounds at 'em, then it's all good.

Hey, don't you fucking laugh - I'll fuckin' tear yer throat out!

19) What's the most violent thing you've ever done to an inanimate object?

I pissed on a guy after I beat his head into a wall.

...well, he was inanimate AFTER the fight. Drunk fucktard deserved it too.

20) What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?

Huh. I've failed too many times at too many things in my life to be able to pinpoint exactly what's the worst. No matter how bad things are, I usually get right back up and keep on goin'...

But embarrassing? I dunno, honestly.

21) Do you think the world will end in 2012?

If it does, I'll be ready for it, hopefully. If not, then things will continue to stagnate.

22) Have you enjoyed this survey? Be honest, now.

Meh. I've done surveys like this before.

23) Are you following The Nerd Archives? If not, DO YOURSELF THE FAVOUR OF DOING SO NOW.



  1. Holy fuck, a fifth blog? Did you completely lose it? But then again, what would you have to lose?! Can the insane lose sanity? I think not.... :D

  2. @Neon - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH naw, I'm only insane on Man-Flavored Milk.

    I'm too angry for updates though, I'll update tomorrow.

    Seriously, the only thing that's ensuring that today isn't completely and beyond absolute retribution is that I haven't heard "Bad Day" (or whatever that SOYOUHADABADDAY? song is) on the radio yet.

    Thankfully I'm not back in the car (SO MUCH DRIVING) but just watch, I'll catch a snippet of it in the air and get my FUCKRAEG all back up and runnin'.

    Fuckin'...bad days...

  3. Btw, you do realize that Man-Flavoured Milk sounds a bit perverted LOL