Friday, August 19, 2011

...freecreditscore.com faggotry, fucking guitarist drama AGAIN, and a whole bunch of shit.

OH SHIT SON, a brand new Epic Rap Battle just dropped! CHECK IT:



Those freecreditscore.com faggots. Not the original guys, they rocked the fucking paunch. No, these amazingly flaming hipster faggots they currently got doing their songs.

So far they've done two songs, I do believe. I don't really care though, nor am I gonna share it here. I'm just sayin', they suck balls. Friggin' donkey balls. Hard donkey balls.

Just...ugh.

I recently got my Microsoft 20derp Certificate for Outlook, Excel, Word and Powerpoint. I don't even HAVE these programs (I used the trial versions), but I figure that it'll help make me look a bit more professional resume-wise and hopefully be able to land a office job that can work around the whole going back to school thing.

With THAT stated, I'm headin' back to school, one way or another come Winter Quarter. So yeah, who knows maybe some of y'all who follow me and happen to be in the Bellingham area'll catch me 'round (DERP) University. Sure, they're far more expensive then (DERP) Tech College or (DERP) Other College, but still...they also (apparently) offer more opportunities.

And did I mention I'm going in to get my baccalaureates in either English or Communications - Broadcasting? I'll major in one, minor in the other and I don't know which I'll be doing yet. Just gotta fill out these transcript requests and all should go down well. While I'm there I'm going to IMMEDIATELY attempt to get into KUGS radio as well as continue with my band...

Which reminds me. I recently talked to a friend of mine, crowing about how awesome everything was being (despite the practice before this phone call took place - I'll get into it in a moment) and how we were THIS CLOSE to cutting a fucking demo (again)...when the last practice came about.

Suffice it to say, we had to get the fuck outta that garage and leave yet another stoner guitarist behind.

Okay, so...this current one was doing pretty good (ish). Musically, he was progressing quickly and had three songs down in what took our old guitarist SIX MONTHS to get down. We went out of our way to excuse some of his actions (having friends walking through the garage while practicing, sometimes disappearing for ten or twenty minutes - normally for dinner, but sometimes for bullshit reasons that we just said "whatever dude" 'bout), but the practice before last the dude was gone for a fucking hour.

He was also on and off the phone talking to his weed hookup, and we had to constantly bring his concentration back to the practice because he was jonesing that bad. Even worse, he apparently owes the guy money now because he forgot we already paid his mother for the rest of this month.

No excuses: our drummer went for a coupla months without marijuana in order to get a job, and y'know what? He never broke from his self-imposed exile from Mary Jane and even though he jonesed in between songs (seriously, we kept making fun of him and it was soooo funny every time he'd get this hang dog expression on his normally pretty face) he NEVER let it affect his play or concentration!!!

Now, while he was on the phone we actually heard two different things from time to time. I heard "crystal meth" (and he looked back at us with quite the guilty look) while my drummer heard black-tar heroin or somethin' like that. Either way, shit's gettin' rocky by now, y'knowwhatImean?

So yeah, there was that. Now the last practice...get ready for it.

We get there late (it happens from time to time, y'know?), and there's four local county sheriff's cars outside his house and one of his best friends in the backseat. Apparently the guy tried to run over a bicyclist or somethin'...all I know is that we're just watchin' while more sheriffs cars show up for whatever reason, they finally do whatever it is they convened to do and take off.

The spectacle over, we get into the garage and start to practice oh wait he apparently pawned his guitar and amp in order to pay his weed hookup from last practice.

Yeah.

So I drive back and pick up my punk-assed guitar and we hook him into the P.A. system. Sure it sounds horrible and you can barely hear the guitar over everyone else, but we could hear it, y'knowwhatImean?

He pulls his usual (by now) business of disappearing and we polish up a song we've been bantering around for awhile ("You Make Me Feel Old." Now I just gotta write the rest of the lyrics for it...) and it sounds great with only bass, drums and vocals...but we all wanna hear what he'll do with it with guitars.

It's been a fucking hour by now.

I get his mom and we find out that he is NOT in his bedroom but, rather, is in his brother's room playing Halo and listening to Lamb of God.

Suffice it to say, that was pretty much the desert wanderer that broke the camel's dong. We at first discussed sitting him down and straightening him out, but in the end we decided to just say fuck it and pack up the drummer's drum kit and P.A. system and get it the fuck outta there.

Things were going good (only his mother was there and he himself was at work), I was even able to snag the tabs we wrote for the songs we were working on...and as I'm writing up a "the garage looks nice/we didn't leave anything behind" receipt to recognize that we had left when his mother (who doesn't realize that we're just outta there and either doesn't know or doesn't want to know about her sons' emerging drug problem and concentration issues) begins to sprinkle into our carefree banter about certain things we did not know about.

Like how his friends were, indeed, simply going in and out of the garage...which they were supposed to not be doing. Also, friends were showing up without her knowledge. People were hanging out without her finding out until later on that night.

Suffice it to say both the drummer and myself smelled a setup arising, and got his rather expensive gear the fuck outta there.

So yeah...suffice it to say, I'm kinda just peeved right now.

ON. THE. OTHER. HAND.

I've also come across a group called BIMA (Bellingham Independent Music Association) who may be able to provide us with a session guitarist so we just get five or six songs fucking recorded and up for show. We need to get this damn demo done, and I FINALLY need to provide some product to show off on derp Youtubes, y'knowwhatImean?

We still need to find a jamspace though, for all that I might have found one that I might be able to live in as well. We'll see.

Just...gah, this fucking week. I hate Mt. Vernon with a burning passion of the Christ, and am still raging at the fucked up drivers on the road.

I'm looking at you, visiting Canadians. Y'all have always been bros over the 'Net, but maaan the moment you derp hurfers get on the freeway next thing I know I gotta turn into fucking Speed Racer with my PIC's dodge dynasty and perform complicated evasions every time one of you gets it into your skull that you should go ALL THE WAY THE FUCK TO THE CITY OF TULALIP in order to get to a casino even though you passed up like three or four perfectly good ones closer to the Canadian border and out of my fucking hair.

Also, now...we all joke about Amerifats here on the Internuggets. Shit, we all know this, it's a stereotype that a rising obesity rate ain't gonna disprove, especially overnight. Y'all fatties need to step yer game up and apply a little discipline.

With THAT stated, I've been seeing more and more fat people (and I don't mean fluffy, big, thick, obese or even anything other then WHATTHEFUCKSTOPEATINGYOUFATFUCK fat) with Canuckianland license plates.

Y'all need to step yer game up if'n yer gonna keep dissin' Amurrika, Canadialand, before you BECOME us or some shit.

Time to end it on a happy note: so I've been on-again off-again when it comes to WWE. Yeah, the fake wrestler bullshit fuck you I remember when that shit was kayfabe 24/7 and NO ONE SNITCHED! I was all about the Hulkster growin' up, and it always stung when he turned heel at WCW.

Of course, the MOMENT he became a face again I immediately jumped all over his shit, runnin' around yellin' OH YEAAAAH BROTHER! at the top of my lungs. Yeah, you imagine a large grown man runnin' around doin' THAT now.

Nowadays (especially after the Attitude Era, which is when I stopped watching when that glorious era ended) it's all cookie-cutter family-oriented bullshit...but man.

I've actually grown to love a coupla characters they got runnin' around, and let's not even TALK about the divas.

Holy shit, the things I would do to A.J....just, each time the divas wrestle it's time to fap like mad.

Out of all the heels I've ever seen, there are only a few (outside of the '80's where they were ALL awesome) I can honestly say I like. The Miz is just one of those motherfuckers that just DESERVES every bad thing to ever happen to him, and the dude's mouth is just pure cheez-whiz gold. Distilled essence of fuckin' narm, yo. Let's ignore the constant bullshit of "I'M AWESOME!" and instead may I point out his fucking taunts? Just...god, I can't even describe it and, strangely enough, find anything. If you can, hook a brotha up yeah?

And holy shit, speaking about awesome characters like Jessie and Festus BISCUITS AND GRAVYYYYYY, holy crap these guys were awesome. Didn't they split them up for some stupid reason?

My god, bring back the giant wrestling retard genius already!

Speaking about giant retards, I kinda like where the current storyline is goin' for all that it's NOTHING like the Attitude Era stories, but maaan Triple H as an exec, Kevin Nash showin' up and pulling a number on CM Punk?

There's three more good characters right there for ya. Hell, they even got Mark Henry goin' on a rampage on Smackdown as of late, and that shit is fuckin' funny~!

And then there's all these new generation of wrestlers, like...I don't remember Sin Cara for shit, but MAN I dig his luchadore style. Same reason why I dig Rey Mysterio Jr. y'knowwhatImean? And oh god, Cody Rhodes, John Morrison, Randy Orton HOLY SHIT TALK ABOUT AN EVIL/AWESOME HEEL!

Seriously, the only person who strikes me as being a darker heel would be Doink the Clown, whom the current Doink needs to step his shit up and get back to WWE.

Bring Dink and the other midget clowns and fuck WWE up right and proper once more.

Seriously, I would personally pay money to see them bring Doink back and get the current guy to be more of a badass like the original (er, actually second) Doink used to be. I wanna see the Doink that did THIS to Kamala:



God I miss the original WWF, back when they had humongous guys fighting each other and NO ONE looked like a MMA fucktard but, instead, relied on characterization and G.I. Joe-esque storylines (AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!) to actually be entertaining.

Never forget, mah nizzles: Macho Man Randy Savage died to ensure the Apocalypse would be stopped. We all owe him and the entire WWF '80's roster a vote of thanks, y'knowwhatI'msayin'?

Sincerely,

~That Bastard

P.S. - I know, I know...today's WWE athletes are definitely top-level. I never said otherwise, y'knowwhatImean? The "wrestling" nowadays is far more technical and impressive then the shit they pulled back in the day...BUT today's WWE star looks like every other MMA retard who'd ever stepped into a ring.

In b4 MMA fantards defending it by saying "SPORT ENTERTAINMENT IS KREIG!" because y'know what? That shit's as scripted as fuck. I remember when the UFC actually had real martial artists fighting each other...but that's for another post, y'knowwhatImean?

6 comments:

  1. ugh. I can't stand the new freecreditscore.com band.

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  2. Whoa, big rage post eh? Yeah I haven't seen this one on the tele yet.

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  3. Fucking nostalgia flash
    Reminds me of the good ol days of Smackdown

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  4. That rap battle is simply awesome. Started watching a bunch of them right now.

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  5. @Bowen - Yeah inorite?! Shit seriously blows, they need to just pay the last band whatever the hell they were askin' and get 'em back to work. They probably got, like, ten new songs just waitin' to be enjoyed...

    @Steve - that's why this blog exists, bro. It doesn't help that I'm also easily enraged, and have no other real outlet anymore outside of writing. Ergo, here we go~!

    @Neon - Word as a motherfucker, yo. Attitude Era is, was, and always will be the best Attitude Era.

    Now if only they'll bring it back...

    @ZUUULUUUU - DUDE, you haven't seen these yet? Indeed go watch 'em all, they're worth it!

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  6. Uh, how many words in this post? Going with a million. You are beast!

    The old band rooled, the new band SUCKZ.

    But this is hardly news, think it was Lao tzu who dropped this wisdom in regards to Iron Maiden, way back in 542BC.

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