Saturday, February 18, 2012

MOVED TO http://www.thepenismysword.com !!

SO, I've been busy as a motherfucker 'round heah, y'know? So with that all stated, I decided that much like how I opened up the very first That Bastard On with a tagged questions survey...thing...I'll do it again now that I have this hot-and-fresh-off-the-grill subdomain.

That magnificent asshole known as Bonafide Jones (http://www.bonafidejones.com) is the jerky who tagged me. Now I'mma gonna hafta graffiti curse words and violent slurs all over his blog OH WAIT I DO THAT ALREADY!

Copypasta'd some of this 'cuz I'm gettin' shit DONE, son.

So here's the rules

Rule#1: Put the rules on your blog.
Rule#2: Every person tagged should tell 11 things about themselves, answer the 11 questions asked by the one that tagged you, tag 11 other people and ask them 11 different questions.
Rule#3: Let the people whom you tagged know you've done so.
Rule#4: Don't tag anyone who's been tagged before.
Rule#5: Really do tag 11 others, don't go all ''if you want to take this tag''.


11 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me

1) I work out, keep a journal, and yet I don't diet. Because of that, I look more like a lump than anything even remotely aesthetic. It's good to get my arms back though - thanks to the physical therapy I got my leg muscles and glutes back. I could break a motherfucker with my ass alone.

2) I have this -thing- about the number 6. If I notice that something is going to end in a 6, I go out of my way to pointedly make it 5 or 7. I haven't a fucking clue why, probably something deep-seated in my Biblical upbringing or some shit.

3) So this guy's been on the radio, y'know? Josh Powell or whatever. Dude killed his two young boys with a hatchet, then himself in a blazing gas bomb explosion. Now, the whole family is apparently a bundle of lulz (alllllll kinds of shit goin' down with them! Pedophilia, child pornography, the father's currently in jail for spying on the neighbor's daughter or whatever, just layers upon layers of lulz) for the radio and old media, but what gets me is that new information pointing to Josh's instability is that he had all kinds of rule 34 (incest and cartoon figures going at each other - Spengbab and Patrick. You cannot stop thinking about Spongebab and Patrick going at it now) on his hard drive.

This worries me, 'cuz I have EVERYTHING rule 34'd in my hard drive. To hear the old media carp about it, even having a little bit of non-vanilla pornography makes you into a psycho-killer OH WAIT NOTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT THAT THEY'VE BEEN SAYING THIS SHIT SINCE THE 50'S!

4) I'm incredibly aggressive, combative, and straight-up bluntly confrontational. I'm even halfway through a song about how blunt I am (literally, titled "Blunt as Fuck." - BE THE HAMMER, OR BE THE NAIL! FOR EVERY WIN, THERE'S ALWAYS FAIL!!!). Despite all that, I've never been called out for being an Internet Tough Guy, something that I gleefully do to others who try to step up and can't back it up.

I dunno, maybe it's 'cuz you can feel my aura or somethin'? I dunno.

5) True story: I used to be a demon hunter. Now I'll change the subject before you get all curious about it and then get all pissy when I do change the subject...I happen to type slang properly. If you don't, well FUCK YOU muhfukkuh.

6) I've started tons of personal projects, but rarely finish any of them. Despite that, I've kept all the notes and overviews and character designs and am just...well, basically, waiting for the time is right to do something with them. As of late though, it looks like I'm finally able to break out of that pattern and you have NO idea how glad I am about that!

7) I'm an absolute rageaholic. Seriously. I drink that shit up like the four cups of coffee and creatine I drink in the morning. I'm a freakin' stress sink, and thus far I've even survived my own rage backfiring on me - something that hurts a shitton more than you may think. Despite all that, I have this foundation to my daily philosophy and creed: Self-Control, Self-Accountability, and Self-Responsibility. Yes, I rage - I come HARD wit it. But...butbutbut, I never allow that shit to affect others physically (I may glare though, and I have a vicious tongue on me that practically cuts at the physical level), and I have never hit anyone who didn't swing first. I've also never hit a kid or a woman, and you can get your Feminazi balls all crunchy as much as you want - I'm proud of having never experienced that.

8) Every morning when I wake up, if I don't have someone to cuddle and kiss (ewwwww, morning breath! <3 ) then I immediately clean out my ears with q-tips. One q-tip for each ear, both sides, then a third with one side for each ear as a final clean. I don't know why. I recently went through a week of being unable to do so, having no money or q-tips left. It was the single most horrible week in my life.

9) Chauvinism and chivalry go hand in hand, and should be slathered everywhere. Hold a door open for, hell, everyone. Compliment a woman about her looks. Hold the seat out for a lady. Help an old person across the street. Yet be prepared to get your flirt on. Git them digits. Hit them sugar pie walls for about two hours, then make her breakfast (so long as ya don't wake up next to a goddamn werewolf the next morning) the next day. If she calls ya, coo. If you call her, coo. Otherwise, begin to bang every single friend and family member she has in her life. I even wrote a song about it. Growl of Steel Incarnate. Well, it's more like how a guy gets vengeance on an ex-girlfriend, but it works too.

10) I'm a Gemini.

11) I play the vidyuh. I geek hard. If you don't geek hard, ya betta ask somebody. Like recognizes like, and I hang with the hardest nerds ya ever done met. Y'know how niggas be rappin' about shit they don't know what the fuck they about? We about dat bidness. We work hard, gets paid, and whup ass both digitally and actually. Fuck you, yo hood, yo block, and the clique you claim, nigga.

Questions

1) Have you ever cheated on someone? Nope, never.

2) What do you think happens when we die? As long as the atheists and the scientoligists are wrong, I'll be happy.

3) If male, are you happy with the size of your penis? If female do you think you are pretty? I'm comfortable with my body type and all 1200 pounds of my penises. If I ever get money though, I think I might have surgery so that the so-called 1 to 3 inches of "hidden penis" can be utilized. Hey, it's MY penis, I wanna make sure I can use it at its' full potential.

4) Stars. Old light or new? Old-school celebrities are as bad as old media. Step up and get on our level already!

5) For a million dollars would you kill another person? They aren't really that important and you will not get caught. For 10 grand I'd kill another human being. I get to decide whether or not I want to take the job though.

6) As a rule, should all religions be treated/respected equally? All religions should be limited in what kind of powers they can have in America. Take away this no-taxing bullshit, force them to have NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS, and the moment they publically criticize or speak condescendingly of anyone else's religion they should be fined. I fucking hate politics nowadays, but I hate organized religion even more. That's a whole rant in and of itself, mang. I don't hate religion itself, or anyone else's beliefs (except for Satanists and scientologists. Friggin' hedonists, and Scientology is just as stupid as it gets - plus Hubbard stole the idea from Heinlein, who is a superior fiction author anyway). Funny story: due to me and my partner-in-crime parting ways relationship-ally, the question of religion came up. My own freaking mother thought I was honestly atheist! I mean, you wanna talk about a surprise! I'm not an atheist, but there's something to be said about agnosticism and the corruption of EVERY church in existence. With that stated, I like Baptists. Have fun and barbecue wit da Lawd? Nigga, I ain't talkin' 'bout dem Church Baptists. I'm talkin' 'bout CHECH, nigga. I'm talkin' 'bout gigantically fat black wimmenz fanning themselves, spry niggas backflipping down the aisle, and a quick-tongued ex-pimp baptist preachuhmang that owns three cadillacs. Speak on it.

 7) Think of something embarrassing that you did that makes you cringe every time it crosses your mind. What is it? So...so fucking many things. Thankfully I am NOT one of those types who posted stupid shit all over the place on the internet. Still...like anyone, I've had embarrassing moments that have helped me grow as a person by surviving those experiences. Hell, I can give you a list of things I HAVEN'T experienced that I'm thankful for! Like popping a boner back in high school wrestling. You can never live that shit down, yo.

8) If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? It doesn't matter whether or not they would want to see you. I'd call my parents, my loved ones, family, and friends. Then I'd lay down and go to sleep. ...unless it's something I thought I could somehow pull a Bruce Willis on. Then I call up The Hooliganz, assemble every single contact and friend that'd get my back and help me pull off this fight, and then go get my Ragnarok on. If there's even remotely a fighting chance that simply by committing myself to a battle where we might win and stop the world from ending, then I'm 1000% down for that shit. Get my gun, line up all my fucking knives, blades, and any other weapons I got, Mad Max out my Dodge Dynasty, then DO. FUCKING. IT. WHEN THE WINDS OF VALHALLA RUN COOOOOOOLD, THEN SO SHALL THE BLOOD START TO FLOOOOOOW, WHEN THE WINDS OF VALLLLHALLLA RUN COOOOOOOOOOOOLD! VALHAAAAAAAAAAAAA-LLA!!!!!!

9) Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? That's a toughie. Sure, memories make the person...but I secretly have several letters penned by myself FOR myself for just such an occasion. I have all my data here, written on the internet and in data c.d.'s and in my USB flash drives. So y'know what? Lose the old memories. Muscle memory, virtual memory and others can probably re-create my current personality without the bad memories, fears, and failures weighing me down.

10) If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Because fuck you, here bomb. No, seriously...it's because we, as humans, can never be satisfied with what we got. Now I (read that as if I'm saying IIIIIIII, y'know? Elongate dat shit) was happy and content for five years of my adult life, living on my own, working and just playing the vidyuh and fucking around on the Internuggets. But it's also five years where I didn't really focus on creating things, going ahead with certain projects like Anubis Unit, or really doing anything other than simply being content with my life. Hot showers. Lots of hot showers. Lots of hanging out with friends all over the place in Bellingham and Fairhaven. So yeah, contentment is good...but satisfaction is unattainable. Yes, those are synonymous but different. Fuck you, here bomb.

11) If Hollywood made a movie about your life, what actor do you think would be cast to play you? Woll Smoth. Jockoh Chon. Broos Wollos. Knowing my luck it'd be Steven fucking Seagal though. Sheeeit.

People DO I EVEN KNOW 11 PEOPLE HERE? LET'S SEE:

Timothy Bowen (damn straight!)
http://www.alunaticpope.com

Shockgrubs (LOL SHOCK, NO - YOU WA SHOCK!)
http://randoom.blogspot.com
http://newstuff.blogspot.com

Ace Nelson (my boy and closest bruddah IRL who isn't Karsa and outside of mah band. We may not see eye to eye all the time, but we DO see pretty much the same way when it comes to politics. Fuck everybody AND they mama, all political parties suck and suffer due to dogma and deep drafts of the kool aid)
http://www.dailykos.com/blog/Ace%20Nelson

G (YEAH I KNOW YOU JUST STARTED FOLLOWING ME I'M STILL TAGGIN' YA! HNNNNNGRASM ALL OVER YOUR FACE AND LOWER BACK!!!!)
http://www.bloggerati.com

Bersercules (I wanna see what he'll do with this...)
http://bersercules.blogspot.com

A Beer For The Shower (they probably get, like, twenty of these a day. I'm still hittin' 'em wit it.)
http://www.abeerfortheshower.com

Tracirz (and, by connection, Nebberz as well. It's weird, I know OF him but have never talked to him via comments or anything. Hope that doesn't make me sound creepy or whatever have you whenever I combine 'em both, 's just how I view things, y'know? @3@;)
http://technicolortypecast.blogspot.com

LuDubs (WUBWUBWUB)
http://thatlifeisme.blogspot.com

Copyboy (Much like Berk, I wanna see what kinda response Copyboy would give. :D )
http://jesseacohen.blogspot.com

Banacek (Part of my "moviefag" list of movie-based blogs that I read. Niggas on this list are the ones who got my respect, y'know? Maybe not all that important, but their >opinions are worthwile and Banacek is one of thsoe who never fails to deliver the good stuff. Now with Youtube Grindhouse Theater!!)
http://www.beastsinhumanskin.com

The Film Geek Bastard (Another top-tier opinionator in my hoity-toity moviefag list, F.G. Bastard not only shares part of a screenname with me but also can communicate his respect and love of cinema better than I can. Whereas I just throw CURSE WORDS around, he actually uses real words to describe exactly why these movies are awesome. Now let's see if he'll accept der tag!)
http://filmgeekbastard.blogspot.com

Are you NOT on my list? Then you're boring and probably busy suckin' a dick.

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW jokin' jokin', keep yer cool there. It just means that we don't comment a lot to one another and I don't feel close enough to send a tag yer way. Now, have you followed me but I haven't followed you? Have you made a comment and I haven't commented at you?

It's not that I'm ignoring you, I'm just busy as hell! And for what it's worth, I always reply back to comments on m'blogs and seek out the blogs of those who DO comment to leave one behind. Usually one that's way too big than is necessary, seriously.

Same thing with follows, yo.

Anyway, I got work to do. Go search "Anubis Unit" on Youtube and show love. Go to http://www.thepenismysword.com and check out the write-ups for Extreme Existence: Battleworld. Last but not least, this "blogspot" has technically closed down and has re-opened as a subdomain over at The Pen Is My Sword, my new main "overblog." Hell, a REAL overblog!

Now, I've been typing waaaay too much. Time to get back at finishing up the template for my NETWERKZ~!!!!

Love, peace, and bacon grease all up in ya's.

~ThatBastard

P.S. - Don't forget, you can also hit me up on Twitter, Googles+, Faecbawks and hey, I'm even willing to be a penpal to ya~! thatbastardfb@gmail.com is the mailer, and the best way to catch me is over at http://www.shittychat.com.

YA HEARD?!

7 comments:

  1. You're either the hammer or the nail, that's a good lyric, man.
    You're like a weird cross between a gentleman and a gangsta.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks m'man! Sorry 'bout the mess, I"m still changing the blogs over and what-not.

      Yeah, I blame it on being raised by my dad. Hang with roughnecks all ya want, in the end you'd better be able to live by your own code.

      It may be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, but thus far it's been worth it. Be true to yerself, be true to your word, never settle for less.

      Delete
  2. Hell yeah, a real overblog!

    Thanks for the tag, man. I nominated you for the Liebster award, because, well, you understand.... I don eefun be haffin to tewl yo ass.

    See you on Chitty shat sometime soon-ish

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WOOP WOOP, CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG NIGGA!

      And yeah, huge sigh of relief from me - all I need now is the extra widget on the main blog where I can actually point out which blog has the newest submissions and I'm all good to go. The Anubis Unit blog is pretty much up and running, I'll be tweaking it over the next month or so as we provide more content, currently writing up the Shittychat the Fightan character select screen, gotta finish up processing these sound bytes (tonight, yo) and gettin' the new playlist posted, get new pages all over the place and the "official" grand re-opening with a embedded audio log from yours truly.

      Yeah, I've been busy. Time to get busier. :3

      I'll post about the Liebster award as soon as I can, bro. :D See ya at the chat, and thanks for the award!

      P.S. - Why for I can't see any links for InlineGP over at your site? I went to go show some love, couldn't find 'em.

      Delete
  3. The fuckin' hell? Why is my post all retarded like that?

    Freakin'...blogger...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wait a minute, you're not supposed to drink coffee when you take creatine.

    And thanks for the mention!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. De nada bro, you deserve it! Hell, I mentioned you in the second round of the Liebster Awards in fact...or was it first round? Bleh, I'm sick.

      Actually, I haven't done either creatine or coffee since I got sick. Just vitamins, ibuprofen, some chest congestion stuff if I'm too stuffed, and dayquil/nyquil.

      But yeah, I tend to bust out the creatine if I know I'm going to work out or if I'm going to be especially physical. I don't do it EVERY DAY though I've heard that I could if I wanted to.

      Then there's the coffee, yeaaaah...if I gotta choose, I'd rather just undergo the stress such a combination places on my system. Plus I DID ask the guys at GNC 'bout dat, and the guy who originally told me 'bout creatine confirmed that it's possible to do both.

      Or maybe they're all digging my grave, possibly. On the other hand, I really CAN handle inhuman amounts of stress, so...we'll see.

      Delete