Saturday, February 4, 2012

...new featured link, new Bachelor Chow, Battleworld and updates!

Featured Link Time!

G'bye Randoom Blog, hello The Lunatic Pope!

So yeah, just showin' some love and support for a homeboy and a pretty cool motherfucker. Do you see that Approved By Eris thing I've got on my blogs? Yeap, they're from THAT motherfucker.

The dude has a history that can be described as "varied" and "interesting," and he's also a published author of poems and other nonsuch.

The dude's a pretty cool dude, PLUS he's a fuckin' pope. Official marriage certifications and all that good shit.

So, go start your adventure readin' his blogs over at:

http://www.alunaticpope.com/

As always, tell 'em That Bastard sent ya and he'll give you 25% more awesome.

Dig his alternative view on hats, man.

Bachelor Chow

Make Fats Breakfast Sammich

So yeah, I'm watchin' one of those cookin' shows awhile back (er, I think Man Versus Food) and they were making a burger that was practically the Luther from Boondocks: friggin' big assed burger (or two), multiple cheeses and bacon and instead of buns it was topped and bottomed with friggin' grilled cheeses sammiches.

Recently, I decided to make one of my own makin', but with the usual That Bastard switch-up. Gotta keep it real Neanderthal up in this piece, y'know?

Slice of mild cheddar cheese
Bacon
Egg (as always, sunny side up)
bacon and egg toaster scrambles
Cream cheese (neuschtafel...gotta keep it light SOMEWHERE in this motherfucker)

Quite obvious, yeah? Toast up those scrambles (if'n you don't know, they're basically pop tarts but instead of frosting and raspberry filling it's full of fake eggs, fake cheese sauce and fake bacon bits...yet I still eat this fucking things from time to time 'cuz I gotta get to work quick and/or they're just a buck-eighty over at a local grocery outlet which is, eponymously so, called Grocery Outlet), top with cream cheese, add a slice of dat cheese, three slices of bacon, add the egg, then top with the second toaster scramble.

Boom. I'm fairly certain there is NOTHING healthy about this, and I shamefacedly admit that I've had this more than once.

I had TWO of these that night, but hey...ya only live once, it scratched the itch I had, and I had done TWO workout sessions that day.

Count 'em, two.


Battleworld Progress Update

So I've posted up the Kraze Armada description page for both individual units and characters. Also got their individual starting stats COMPLETELY done, and am currently working on the Legion of Demnos. I've also dabbled with the "canon" storyline (if I were to be asked, these are the routes that I would say would lead to a sequel if I were to make one....which I pro'lly won't. This might not be a one-shot deal inexactly, being a parrt of the Extreme Existence multiverse, but if I were to make a sequel it would be set IN the EE multiverse and not Battleworld) and have gotten past the first map.

Er, in writing not programming.

Let's not forget, I come at this from the viewpoint of a writer, not a programmer or even designer. I'll probably, at some point in time, start hard coding and screwing around with Game Maker or some shit simply to get my toes into the water again...and to finally get over whatever mental block I somehow gained from back in the day that got me to stop programming in the first place.

I'm not the most hardcore of programmers, but by God at one point in time I could design a website and knew both Flash, HTML and C++ like the back of my hand. I practically killed Vis Basic and was in the process of learning C# and Javascript for the fuck of it.

I've GOT that knowledge and experience locked somewhere in a deep, dark, repressed part of my head...now I just gotta get back into the game and prove, in the very least to myself, that I can get the ball rolling before attempting to entice better programmers and artists to the project.

I mean, EVENTUALLY I'll want to get this systemized and perhaps even sold on XBLA or some shit, I don't know. I know that Kongregate is good for this kinda shit. We'll see.

I'm not sayin' I won't put it out for free (certainly I'll make a "fans only" version where we'll actually have those awesome theme songs I've listed in the character sections - I'll explain later) but I certainly wouldn't mind having something on my resume that says "I headed this project, launched it, and saw it to a profitable fruition."

Now, as to what I WAS sayin' about theme songs and such, yeah. I'm awesome at character design.

Now, I"m not pattin' myself on the back or whatever have you, I've made up TONS of awesome characters in my days of roleplaying and clocked in the middle double digits for Neo Tokyo: Unit 13.

Then I made more for the MilPol game idea.

So anyway, like I said - I've got the MAD fuckin' notes when it comes to character design, but when I start creating a character before I even begin to flesh out their motives, personality and looks I decide on two things: a name and a theme song for a lietmotif.

Seriously, I think up of names first and while they sometimes change they usually stay throughout the entire process. As an artist, though, I reserve the right to change ANYTHING up until I actually say "Okay, this is perfect, I'm done!"

Now these theme songs aren't OFFICIAL or anything, certainly I haven't ASKED any bands (ESPECIALLY IRON MAIDEN, whom I am a shameless hussy for) if I can use 'em, but hey it's not like I'm selling any of this shit (yet) and when the time comes I'll just erase it out, y'knowwhatImean? In the meantime, these songs are what I consider to be perfect for that character.

For the record, I use a lot of Iron Maiden. Like, a LOOOOOOOT of Iron Maiden. Especially with my old, never-written-never-finished-unpublished work "Dangerous Mismanagement," where each character was pretty had a song from Iron Maiden, Savatage, and other awesome heavy metal bands. Hell, one of the main characters (whom Makiko Kraze's first name comes from) has "Strange Wings" by Savatage, which I'll post up over at Soothe soon. Suffice it to say if you can't close your eyes and see the music Savatage is making with that song, then either I must have a mild form of synesthesia, or you need to get more imagination son!

So yeah, that's how I came about the various characters for Battleworld: name first, theme song next. I'm having a tough time with Legion of Demnos in that I'm CONSTANTLY going to Dr. Steel for that shit, as well as a couple of other lesser-known steampunk bands. While I'm not complaining TOO much 'bout it, the highbrowfag in me would rather a more diverse sound than simply "LOL LEGION OF DEMNOS TECHNOPUNK STEAMPUNK ESPERPUNK SO NOTHING BUT STEAMPUNK LOLLOLOLOLONE!!1!ELEVENTY," but hey sometimes you gotta stick with whatever works.

So yeah, Legion of Demnos individual stats, updating Consumables List (with actual recipes and materials, of which I'm comin' across quite a few - gonna hafta make 'em more varied than the Skyrim stuff), actually posting the SCIENCE!, Skills, Spells and Abilities lists, as well as the Legion of Demnos description page.

I'm already done with most of the aforementioned, but man...dem individual starting stats. It's the most important part (I mean, this is what we base what each unit can DO off of, y'know?), at least from my perspective. But my fucking god, it's so fucking BORING, grrrrr.

Ergo the blog updating, instead of working on it. I mean, I can see it. It's right here, looking at me from my menu bar. Just lookin' at me going "why are you on thatbastardon 9.rtf? Why aren't you working on me?" Fuck you, that's why.

My mental and physical bullshit

So yeah, I'm that motherfucker in the feel threads. I know some of you are already frothing at the mouth, and I don't give a fuck: at least it's vidyuh-related, faggot.

So yeah, it's actually been helping me through some seriously dark times nowadays. BUT, today was so very VERY not that kind of a day.

So I only get, like, three hours of sleep. Then two more. Now this isn't in and of itself a bad thing, 'cept I was supposed to wake up at 8 and be at my homeboy's place at 9 a.m. in order to help him move into this new place of his. Now, I end up getting to bed at 5 a.m. after hanging out having an awesome time at "Shittychat," y'know? BIG UPS TO MY NEW FAVORITE WEEB COUPLE, EDO! AFROBRO J. ECHOES, IF'N YER READIN' THIS YOU MY BOI!!!!!! DSA, STAY WHITE MY HOMEY!

So yeah, 5 a.m. sleepy time, wake up at 8 a.m....then wake up again at 10 a.m.

Little did I know, this was actually the start of a GREAT fuckin' day. First off, I call up my friend and he's all, "What? Oh shit, I just woke up too, dude!" So we lol, I tell him I'm gonna get some coffee and breakfast and then head over.

THe raisin bran I just bought recently (FUCK YEAH COSTCO OWNS MY SOUL! KIRKLAND SIGNATURE 'TIL I DIE!!!) and I got to open that up and just inhale the fresh scent of recently-opened raisin bran. The coffee comes out PERFECT, which isn't THAT a irregular thing...it's just more so today. 6 cups of coffee in my big-assed mug, the honey in it is PERFECT, and a cup of creatine powder drank afterwards with an extra cup of water, just in case. Fuck yeah, boyee.

So I get all my shit just fresh and nice, I leave lookin' like I'm fit to either stomp someone or sex someone, clip my nosehairs in my car (Keep yer shit tight, my homies. Stay thirsty, my friends.), double-check my awesome heavy metal bangs and head out there.

So we get this shit movin'. After awhile I feel the burn, then I amp up, then I AMP UP!!!! I fuckin' hulk out movin' shit, pure energy surging through my veins, it's a BEAUTIFUL fuckin' day, like I can't even begin to describe how sweet and clean the air is, how perfectly sunny yet there's that slightly chill bite to the air that smells of the clean sea nearby, y'know?

Just fuckin' PERFECT!

It takes us three trips, and a friend of ours helps out (plus his new neighbor and workmate), the very same friend who says he can back us up as a guest guitarman for our demo.

Oh shit yes son. We got one of the best guitar dudes in the fuckin' Northwest, and yes you've never heard of him. Fuck you and your hipster friends.

Even more so, both my homeboy AND his workmate tells me that their place of business is still hiring. Well, my application is still there, I DID acquire my social security card (long story short: only reason why I'm not workin' there was because at the time, between moves, my social security card decided to go AWOL somewhere. That kinda freaks me out, but I can't afford to change my number yet - plus I LIKE my number.) and they couldn't hire me.

Now I've got that card, and if I get in this week or at least start work next week, I can easily pay off next month's rent, get Comcast to back off overcharging my ass the way they have and still keep to my financial schedule. Otherwise, it'd be safer to simply do nothing - the amount of gas to get from Lynden to Bellingham is NOT negligible, y'knowwhatImean?

We'll see, we'll see.

Anyway we get him hooked up, he hooks me up with 10 bucks gas money (and earlier that day we shared a Harold and Kumar moment at a McDonalds and, y'knowwhat? I take back what I said about the McDouble and Daily Double - that shit's pretty fuckin' good.) and here I am, about to down a big-assed thing of chili, salsa and sour cream with a whole bunch of tortilla strips.

From Kirkland Signatures.

It's not like I'm the wealthiest dude in the world, or every fucking project I've ever even started have ever been finished. I know I've failed a lot and, as a certain friend reminded me recently, yes I have every right to feel as badly as I have been as of late.

But y'know what? Today was a fucking good day. Today was a GREAT day.

Tomorrow may suck. The day after may be horrible.

But you can't take away today from me. I dare you to fucking try. I've still got energy to burn.

In light of no challenges, I'm gonna get back to updating the blogs and gettin' to that Legion of Demnos individual stats page now. Catch y'all around, eh?

Sincerely,

~That Bastard

P.S. - GO READ SOME BATTLEWORLD SHIZNITS OVER AT http://thepenismysword.blogspot.com! I'VE GOT POETRY AND SHIT OVER THERE, YOU'LL FUCKIN' LOVE IT!

ALSO, I'M COMPILING MY POEMS, A SHORT STORY OR TWO, MY LYRICS AND MY CONCEPT STORYLINE STUFF (complete character sheets, storyline flowcharts, episodic descriptions, etc) IN A BOOK. YEAH, A BOOK MOTHERFUCKER. I'M CALLIN' IT "SCREAM." IT'LL HAVE SOME OF THE POEMS AT THE PEN IS MY SWORD, GO READ THEM BEFORE YOU BUY THEM.

P.P.S. - I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE, PLEASE RAPE MY FACE. THEN GO GET YOUR FRIENDS AND SEND THEM TO MY BLOGS, I GOT SIX OF THEM. CHOOSE ONE, SEND THEM THERE.

AND THEY CAN RAPE MY FACE.

BUT OHHHHH MAN, FOR EACH PERSON WHO RAPES MY FACE I'M GONNA TRACK YOU DOWN AND RE-RAPE EVER LAST ONE OF YOU.

P.P.P.S. - STOP CRYING, BITCH NIGGA. IF YOU DON'T LIKE RAPE HUMOR, WHY ARE YOU READING MY BLOG? I NEED TO SHOOP A PIC OF ME HOLDING A SIGN SAYING "I was dressed this way the day I raped someone at random. Go ahead and ask me, did I deserve that?" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN HERE READING ME FOR, DON'T YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?!!!!!!

YES,YOU CAN RAPE THE WILLING. IT'S CALLED HARDCORE BONDAGE AND THE PILEDRIVER.

7 comments:

  1. Oh yeah, and for the record? Y'all know how I was speaking of some nameless deity or entity who apparently supremely fears the success of my main band? Well here's another example of their meddling: my drummer got into a drunken brawl (it was self-defense, he doesn't GET violent unless someone brings it first) and busted the tendons in his right thumb.

    Thankfully we've got it covered with an electronic drum kit (plus he can drum WITHOUT his thumb!), but still...that's exactly what I was talking.

    About a week or so until we record, and already this has popped up.

    But whoever or whatever it is didn't, apparently, figure on one thing.

    I had a good day today. I feel recharged and refreshed as hell.

    You shouldn't've let me get back up, whoever you are. Motherfucker, I'm me. That Bastard.

    You've got one week to drop me to the point where the recording won't get done.

    You'd better make it count, whatever your name is, whoever or whatever you are. Because now I've got a head full of mad and my soul just got recharged today.

    And this mistake is gonna cost ya.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. He certainly delivers, especially when you didn't realize you even needed it.

      Delete
  3. I am going to try that sandwich. I'm all about some unconventional eats. THanks and I hope more days are like this for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dude, not even kidding - I call it the Make Fats, and you WILL be needin' some cardio after this.

      I'm certain there's healthier options to make a sammich like this, but that's all I had on hand and hey, that's all how the greats got discovered, right?

      Delete
  4. Aint nothin' wrong with Iron Maiden!

    ReplyDelete