Wednesday, May 30, 2012


I'm 32.  That's, like, 132 in internuggets years.  If you tell me I look good for my age I'll fuckin' kill you and defile your favorite family members.

So yeah, quick recap of how I spent MY birthday:

>I modeled for a photo shoot (CREATURE OF DARKNESSSSSS!), "The Bone King's Daughter."  Guess what part I was.
>Prepared narrations for a off-shoot, Pretty Tony the Wicked Wolf of the West Woods.
>Prepared narrations for this shoot and the sequel planned shoot (featuring Ace as the Black Knight nonetheless!)
>Had the most awesomest hash browns in the world
>Wrote a bunch of junk
>Updated a blog or two
>Played the vidyuh
>Got a new/used shirt and the omnibus of Azumanga Daioh (hey, don't look at me like that, it's fuckin' real kawaii uguu nigga)
>Hit back mah people over the internuggets
>As a final gift to myself, I'M RESETTING MY COMMENTARY TOMORROW so if I didn't catch ya in my recent wave of comments, BWAAAAHAHAHHAHAHA BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!

So yeah, not that bad.  Not, like, the BESTEST EVER, but y'know what?  It's all fuckin' good.

See ya on the dark side of the coon, Pocahantas!


~That Bastard

P.S. - Sorry 'bout the downtime on the blogs.  It's either blogs or writing, y'dig?  Taboo 1 is taking a small bit o' time, but I don't wanna rush this.  Fo' reals.  Besides, it's comin' along beautifully though~!  In fact, anyone up for an early read?  Hit me up at thatbastardfb@gmail and ask politely.  Otherwise, wait 'til the end of the fuckin' thing like anyone else.  Also, editing - if anyone is an editor and wants to a hook a brotha up, lemme know.

ORRRRR  you can go to and subscribe.  Will it get you the early read any faster?

No.  It has nothing to do with it, why you askin'?

Saturday, May 19, 2012

...a new bachelor chow, new featured link, more about The Generalist, more whining about projects, and more!

Featured Link

The Other Bellingham Jerk...I mean, The Yummy Bits.  Yeap, they're our new Featured Link of the post!  The Yummy Bits has hit the scene recently with a nice design and a passion and flair for the food they show off on the blog, going from restaurant to restaurant in the hopes of bringing you, the readers, their love of both cooking and delicious food, as well as finding you wonderful restaurants to head to while in Bellingham.


Unlike The Bellingham Jerk, which relies on negativity and excellent writing (i.e. "This shit sucks balls," or "I hate this place to fucking death, dude."), The Yummy Bits relies on awesome pictures of excellent food as well as descriptive writing.

Hell, TYB just hit up Goji Bistro, a fusion restaurant that combines multiple types of asian cuisine.  It's right near Whatcom Community College as well~!

So hit up The Yummy Bits over at:

Tell 'er that That Bastard sent ya for 100% more restaurant review blog posts.



And no, Jade, I will NOT stop that running gag.  You will never live this down.  Ever.

Just accept it.  Relax...and accept it.


Pimpin' the Bidness

250 cards.  One hundred of them are with me, the other hundred are with Ace, and fifty of them are going to be sent out to various people across America that we happen to know.

Yeap.  Pimpin' pimpin'.

So.  Here we got a whole buncha cards and a whole coupla counties to paper with 'em.  Do YOU know someone in the Whatcom/Skagit County areas and want a few to share?  Hit a brotha up.

Do YOU want a few?  E-mail me yer address and I'll send ya five cards or somethin'. :D  Let's talk, yeah? is the name, bidness cards are the game.

Bachelor Chow

Would you like a plate of heart attack?  Because trust me, a plate of heart attack is JUST what you need~!

So, let's assemble our precious ingredients~!!

Buttery biscuits (4 per plate)
Butter/margarine with extra calcium
Sausage Gravy (yeap, from the packet.  Or make it yourself, whatever)

So. Let's get started by cooking the bacon and sausage, preferrably in two different pans, otherwise it's suggested to figure out which is slowest for  you (sausage or bacon) and doin' that first.  I prefer link sausage, but ground sausage is cool too, I reckon.  While these are cookin', start oven-baking the biscuits.  More than likely it'll take 'em 15 minutes, and by then the bacon and sausage should be done too.

Upon this first wave of goodness bein' done, assemble your biscuits and butter.  Pour some of the deliciousness of the sausage and bacon fat into the sausage gravy as you prepare it now (or use it FOR the gravy), and don't forget to leave behind some of the drippings to fry up the eggs, y'know?

Assemble fully atop the buttered and buttery biscuits: gravvy, sausage, bacon, and eggs per biscuit.  Get English with it and slap some cut-up and fried up onions and cheese up in that mother.

There is probably nothing healthy about this.  But y'know what?  A haato attaku plate per year is NOT pushin' it, and just keep in mind yer cardio and yer fine.

Because fuck healthy people who can't stand delicious grease, that's why.


I'm slowly getting the fifteen-minute compilations and best-ofs from our Podomatic one-hour posts up over at, y'know?  So head over and subscribe.

Once we've got over fifteen subscribers, they'll unlock our ability to post submissions that are longer than fifteen minutes...and need I point out that we eat up around an hour at a time?

It's an hour of fun though, each time, with plenty of fun and cursing and local guests and other nonsuch distaff.  Truth.

Guest Roastin' and Postin'

So, over at Me and My Thinking Cap ( a challenge was laid down.  To roast her as she has never been roasted before.

For some reason, I picked up that challenge and...well, it's more like I ended up simmering her toes.

Okay, okay.  Y'all might be shocked that I of all people failed to really roast her, but come ON!  If a little Indian lady (who happens to run a blog I, y'know, LIKE!) steps up and pokes me in the side, the worst thing I'm gonna do is wave her off and say, "Quit it."

What, you want me to Ragecock out on someone like that?  I mean, I can't even build up a decent head of mad enough to get pissed at the commentary making fun of the "cookout" I turned the roast into...

But meh.  I can't win 'em all, and I gracefully bow and accept both compliments and taunts alike.

Who knows though, I might be able to get pissed off enough and just run with it, yeah?  :D  In the meantime, check it out and lemme know what you think - in the very least it's well written and funny~!

What's the worst part?  I honestly thought I was pretty mean in it, but apparently...yeah. >XD  Meh, maybe sometime I'll build up a big enough head fulla mad and just let loose or somethin', 'cept I might go racist as well...and that's never any fun, y'know?

Unless I mean to do it.  Then it's fuckin' excellent!

As is, ohhhh baby, the rape jokes. <3

The Generalist

Why yes, I'm workin' on Taboo 1, slowly though.  I've got other projects too, y'know?  Not in the least being these blogs.  At least I got done though, and now it's just all about the natural process of uploadin' and makin' content.

Still, there's Extreme Existence: Battleworld and Project: Boyfriend and the rebuilding of Anubis Unit to look forward to, and I've been around all of Whatcom County paperin' the place and what-not.  Just bein' busy.  Then there's the whole gettin' the dishwasher job and movin' into this studio, I mean...I'm just BUSY, y'know?

Not that I'm makin' excuses, I'm just sayin'. <3

Anyway, here's Parts 1-5 of The Generalist - Taboo 0.  If you haven't read it, by all means go for it!  If you have, then by all means feel free to comment and share it with yer friends, whatever have ya.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

And while we're at it, check out the "The Generalist parts 1 and 2" posts I made over at Sooth(e) Your Freaking Beast to really get into the music as I see it while writing these.

Part 1 -
Part 2 -

Wanna Backlinks?

So yeaaaaaaaaah, I need to establish more backlinks and just link to more places, I reckon.  Do you have a suggestion, or want to do a link exchange, or even ad exchange?  Hit a bruddah up at, y'know? :D

If you happen to have any other suggestions, by all means go for it!  In the meantime, do please continue to share my tweets, post submissions, and faecbawks status updates to your hearts' content~!

Well, back to the grinding wheel.  Got plenty of promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep...or some shit like that.


~That Bastard

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

...oh god, so much stuff to do.

This isn't a post, it's a detour. <3

So yeah, I know some of you will be all "SEE I TOLD YOU!" but no, really, I had to divert my attention and resources to figuring out this conundrum.

First there was the DNS Cache fuckups which only recently got straightened out, but now I realize that the template and design for Nerf just ain't what I thought it was.  I mean we BOTH love the upper half, but the actual posting body of the blog just...lacks.  It just lacks.  It ain't Hooligans enough, baby.

So yeah, suffice it to say the reason why you don't have a new That Bastard of late is 'cuz of that.  Just programming pisses me off sometime, and it's only after I'm done with everything and I take a step back and look at it that I realize that it's not what I wanted.

So, that and Taboo 1 and re-working this guest post.  That's why there's no TBO today.

Here, let me leave you with a funny image to last you until next time.



~That Bastard

P.S. - we have TWO podcasts we need to get up and running for The Hooligans, but we don't have enough subscribers yet.  Go to and subscribe if you haven't already.  Have your friends subscribe.  Freakin' subscribe already~!  If you haven't listened to our hilarious, entertaining video game review podcasts (yeah, inorite, ANOTHER video game review podcast shut up faggot we're fuckin' awesome), then head over to and enjoy.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

...featured link, photo shoots, The Generalist, my improved health, my limited internuggets.

Featured Link!

Marie Rossi over at Absqu...Absq....Ab...

Okay, I'm not even going to copypasta that name.  I refuse to type it.  Instead I'm going to point out that she's got humorous images and cartoons, and really funny posts.  In the very least, >I'M< entertained, but then again I'm easily entertained with a giant pot and a wooden spoon.

Dude, I make SO MUCH awesome noise!

SO, here ya go!  Marie Rossi over at...uh...shit, whatever you called your blog.  Yer my new featured link!  All the rest of you go visit her blog and let her know That Bastard sent ya for 50% more fleeing.

Marie Rossi at whatever the hell you call this blog...I just fuckin' dig it. :D

Also, in response to my call to arms for everyone who reads me to re-google, re-tweet, and re-post my stuff, she instead drew me a curiously cute ad image thing for That Bastard On nonetheless.

Because after I'm done with you, it really WILL feel like I just pumped your ear and left the condom in. <3

CREEPER NOTE: She's currently studying for the college entrance exams.  This implies three things, 1) we should all do our best to distract the unholy fuck out of her by leaving little messages of "do good!" and "do yer damn homework.  2) she's currently underage b&, at least a little bit.  Possibly acceptably so in certain places on the globe.  And 3) she soon WON'T be underage b&.


The Recent Photo Shoot

So I'm gonna be postin' up some of the photos up over at The Hooligans new website,, or you can just hit up my faecbawks and check out the photo album.  Dude, the shoot was freakin' AWESOME!  Games were played, the location was fuckin' CHOICE as well as noice, and hotties were molested.  Not only that but Jade (the photographer AND the shooper!) hooked us up with some seriously sweet photoshops, to the point where I'm using two of 'em for business cards and the third (the Kaos Party Radio one) for a bunch of posters.

But now I'm swamped with work: I gotta get Kaos Party linked properly, double check all my feed URL's (for some reason I'm not poppin' up on ANYONE'S blogrolls except when Googles wants me to, the bastards) and also start up on Nerf All The Things.

Altogether the photo shoot was a huge success, even though I still hate the way I look.  Except for a couple of photos, especially this one.

Now THAT'S mean muggin'!

Heh heh heh.  Speakin' 'bout gettin' yer Frank Todd on...

The Generalist

Did you know I posted a 39 page story?  Yeah, you probably know I posted a 39 page story.

It was supposed to be 9 pages long, and a short story.

I now feel as retarded as I ever have as a writer, but meh - at least I dig it, as does most of the people who've read it thus far.

Are you in the mood for some fiction?  Do you like cranky know-it-all, jack-of-all-trades types?  Do you like written action?  Witty, street-smart dialogue?  Well-written battle scenes?

Then go read The Generalist instead.

Based on true events, all names have been changed to ensure that I only marginally piss off certain groups.  Heh.

Taboo 0: Cliche of Memories is already up, and I'm fighting the urge to bury myself into Taboo 1: Where's the Beef?

Trust me, the ending sequence is EXACTLY why it's titled that~!

As is, I'm fighting the urge to do Taboo 1: Where's The Beef? just 'cuz I have so many other things to do.  Photos to upload, my stuff to get updated and done, all sorts of fun.

Someday I'll get a chance to rest.

Today is not that day.

Go Read The Generalist - Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories now!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Appreciation Tiem~!  Follow me all over the place. :D

TWITTER: @ThatBastardFB

FACEBOOK: : /ThatBastardFromBellingham (

GOOGLES+: ThomasDuder



The Sound Byte Page (though really all you gotta do is just follow me at Youtube, y'know?)

The Pen Is My Sword

That Bastard On

KAOS: Chaos Party Radio

Sooth(e) Your Freaking Beast

Man-Flavored Milk

Netflix This!

The Bellingham Jerk

Nerf All The Things

Legion HQ! (currently disbanded)

The Chopping Block - The Results

So yeah, I ain't choppin' shit.  In fact, I registered a domain name for KAOS: Chaos Party Radio ( and have created a new domain name and blog for The Hooligans themselves (  So yeah, time to go show love, eh?  I haven't even DONE Nerf All The Things Yet - gonna post up the photo shoot stuffs over there though to get things started while I look around for a template I can screw up.

Now I know this puts me at a further disadvantage as some of you have pointed out, but this is...well, this is pretty much me, y'know?  I put out a ton of content on a weekly basis, and handle things in a way that can be simply put as "shotgunnin' shit."

Perhaps this is a bad choice, but I think it's one that will at least suit me in the long run.  I don't need a million followers anyway, it was just my reaction to doing ALL that work with barely any results.  I mean, c'mon - I DID do a ton of work in order to get more followers and views.

On the other hand, what will be will be.  Hell, I seem to get more views when I just do work and put out content anyway. <3  So let's go with that.

Well, that and the whole re-tweet, re-post, re-googles scheme.  Yeah, that's the ticket. :D

Do you wanna partner up with ME?!

Well, I've got tons of stuff to do things with.  Poetry, music lyrics, short stories, written..uh...things.  Or I can guest-post for your blog.  Or I can write new material for ya.

All I'm sayin' is that if you DO wanna do somethin' with a writer like me, hit me up over at with your proposal, and let's go from there!

Which reminds me: gotta do that character thing with Karsa...Karsa, if yer readin' this hit me up on faecbawks, mermaider, so we can do that shit. :D

Also, if you yourself are an artist who simply wants to do stuff for me (fanarts, spriting for Battleworld, etcetera) or a musician who likes doin' stuff (yeah, yeah, I know - Newgrounds has free music I can jack, but why bother if someone wants to do somethin' tailor-made for my work?), hit me up as well.  If you're a programmer who simply wants to upgrade or improve or tinker around with the various blogs I got goin' on or would like to donate a design, I'm also sanguine with that - I know what my limits are, and how good I can go...and I know for a fact that I'm not as good as a real hardcore pro.  Hell, I'm a hobbyist at best.

So yeah, you wanna hook a brotha up?  Go for it. :D

My Health

Oh.  Oh god.

So, Jade over at The Yummy Bits just subscribed to us over at, right?  And I'm listening to those old post-parts, and Jesus Christ - you could literally hear Lynden rattling in my lungs with each cough.

I've gotten roughly 75% of my old flexibility back, I only cough every now and then, and god.

The smell of moss, sewage, and desperation are all completely out of my clothes, my hair, my skin, and my kiss.  I've still got a bit of it in my soul, but man...beautiful days and clean air, clean water, and the ocean nearby are really helping with that.

I may not be 100% yet, but ohhhhh baby am I gettin' there!

My Internuggets

So yeah.  Living with friends, my internuggets simply aren't ALL that (love ya, Comcast), plus my computer just hates Comcast (love ya, Comcast), so Internuggets have been, as of late, not as steady as when I'm the only user.

So does that mean you'll get less of me?  Hell naw man, it all depends on what projects I'm doin'.

I just so happen to be doin' a lot of 'em...

Current Projects I'm Working On

Project: Boyfriend
The Generalist
Extreme Existence: Battleworld
Chat the Fightan


Netflix This!

SO, I've recently gotten access to a current-gen system that will allow me to run Netflix.  This means, yeap, the triumphant return of Netflix This!

As is, I've also got two whole updates to do - a Hot and Current for The Avengers (and my answering take on it, versus Me and My Thinking Cap's slanderous diatribe) and a Focus On for Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots The Movie, a.k.a. Real Steel.

For the record, I JUST LAST NIGHT came to the understanding (thanks to a friend) that the new movie Battleship is based on the actual fucking tabletop game Battleship.  Like, "you sunk my battleship you asshole!"  Yeah, that Battleship.

Is Hollyweird so strapped for ideas that this is the result?  I really REALLY need to start on those two awesome/badassed/cheesy scripts.  Shinobi Versus Dragon Ninja practically writes itself, not to mention Hunting Grounds.

Ugh, so busy.  So busy. D:

So naturally I'm goin' to a club tonight, screw EVERYTHING!  Time to go get my swizzle on.


~That Bastard

P.S. - If I haven't hit you up yet in response to comments or mail or whateverhaveyou, it's not that I don't got love for you, I'm just busy as a motherfucker.  We also need more subscribers over at so we can post our one-hour podcasts.  Go subscribe, and if you need a reason to go check out our The Hooligans posts over at (that should be up by now, yeah).  Those awesome podomatic podcasts?  Well we're out of room over there, and need to move to Youtube.

Let's dooo thiiiiis~!