Saturday, May 19, 2012

...a new bachelor chow, new featured link, more about The Generalist, more whining about projects, and more!

Featured Link

The Other Bellingham Jerk...I mean, The Yummy Bits.  Yeap, they're our new Featured Link of the post!  The Yummy Bits has hit the scene recently with a nice design and a passion and flair for the food they show off on the blog, going from restaurant to restaurant in the hopes of bringing you, the readers, their love of both cooking and delicious food, as well as finding you wonderful restaurants to head to while in Bellingham.


Unlike The Bellingham Jerk, which relies on negativity and excellent writing (i.e. "This shit sucks balls," or "I hate this place to fucking death, dude."), The Yummy Bits relies on awesome pictures of excellent food as well as descriptive writing.

Hell, TYB just hit up Goji Bistro, a fusion restaurant that combines multiple types of asian cuisine.  It's right near Whatcom Community College as well~!

So hit up The Yummy Bits over at:

Tell 'er that That Bastard sent ya for 100% more restaurant review blog posts.



And no, Jade, I will NOT stop that running gag.  You will never live this down.  Ever.

Just accept it.  Relax...and accept it.


Pimpin' the Bidness

250 cards.  One hundred of them are with me, the other hundred are with Ace, and fifty of them are going to be sent out to various people across America that we happen to know.

Yeap.  Pimpin' pimpin'.

So.  Here we got a whole buncha cards and a whole coupla counties to paper with 'em.  Do YOU know someone in the Whatcom/Skagit County areas and want a few to share?  Hit a brotha up.

Do YOU want a few?  E-mail me yer address and I'll send ya five cards or somethin'. :D  Let's talk, yeah? is the name, bidness cards are the game.

Bachelor Chow

Would you like a plate of heart attack?  Because trust me, a plate of heart attack is JUST what you need~!

So, let's assemble our precious ingredients~!!

Buttery biscuits (4 per plate)
Butter/margarine with extra calcium
Sausage Gravy (yeap, from the packet.  Or make it yourself, whatever)

So. Let's get started by cooking the bacon and sausage, preferrably in two different pans, otherwise it's suggested to figure out which is slowest for  you (sausage or bacon) and doin' that first.  I prefer link sausage, but ground sausage is cool too, I reckon.  While these are cookin', start oven-baking the biscuits.  More than likely it'll take 'em 15 minutes, and by then the bacon and sausage should be done too.

Upon this first wave of goodness bein' done, assemble your biscuits and butter.  Pour some of the deliciousness of the sausage and bacon fat into the sausage gravy as you prepare it now (or use it FOR the gravy), and don't forget to leave behind some of the drippings to fry up the eggs, y'know?

Assemble fully atop the buttered and buttery biscuits: gravvy, sausage, bacon, and eggs per biscuit.  Get English with it and slap some cut-up and fried up onions and cheese up in that mother.

There is probably nothing healthy about this.  But y'know what?  A haato attaku plate per year is NOT pushin' it, and just keep in mind yer cardio and yer fine.

Because fuck healthy people who can't stand delicious grease, that's why.


I'm slowly getting the fifteen-minute compilations and best-ofs from our Podomatic one-hour posts up over at, y'know?  So head over and subscribe.

Once we've got over fifteen subscribers, they'll unlock our ability to post submissions that are longer than fifteen minutes...and need I point out that we eat up around an hour at a time?

It's an hour of fun though, each time, with plenty of fun and cursing and local guests and other nonsuch distaff.  Truth.

Guest Roastin' and Postin'

So, over at Me and My Thinking Cap ( a challenge was laid down.  To roast her as she has never been roasted before.

For some reason, I picked up that challenge and...well, it's more like I ended up simmering her toes.

Okay, okay.  Y'all might be shocked that I of all people failed to really roast her, but come ON!  If a little Indian lady (who happens to run a blog I, y'know, LIKE!) steps up and pokes me in the side, the worst thing I'm gonna do is wave her off and say, "Quit it."

What, you want me to Ragecock out on someone like that?  I mean, I can't even build up a decent head of mad enough to get pissed at the commentary making fun of the "cookout" I turned the roast into...

But meh.  I can't win 'em all, and I gracefully bow and accept both compliments and taunts alike.

Who knows though, I might be able to get pissed off enough and just run with it, yeah?  :D  In the meantime, check it out and lemme know what you think - in the very least it's well written and funny~!

What's the worst part?  I honestly thought I was pretty mean in it, but apparently...yeah. >XD  Meh, maybe sometime I'll build up a big enough head fulla mad and just let loose or somethin', 'cept I might go racist as well...and that's never any fun, y'know?

Unless I mean to do it.  Then it's fuckin' excellent!

As is, ohhhh baby, the rape jokes. <3

The Generalist

Why yes, I'm workin' on Taboo 1, slowly though.  I've got other projects too, y'know?  Not in the least being these blogs.  At least I got done though, and now it's just all about the natural process of uploadin' and makin' content.

Still, there's Extreme Existence: Battleworld and Project: Boyfriend and the rebuilding of Anubis Unit to look forward to, and I've been around all of Whatcom County paperin' the place and what-not.  Just bein' busy.  Then there's the whole gettin' the dishwasher job and movin' into this studio, I mean...I'm just BUSY, y'know?

Not that I'm makin' excuses, I'm just sayin'. <3

Anyway, here's Parts 1-5 of The Generalist - Taboo 0.  If you haven't read it, by all means go for it!  If you have, then by all means feel free to comment and share it with yer friends, whatever have ya.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

And while we're at it, check out the "The Generalist parts 1 and 2" posts I made over at Sooth(e) Your Freaking Beast to really get into the music as I see it while writing these.

Part 1 -
Part 2 -

Wanna Backlinks?

So yeaaaaaaaaah, I need to establish more backlinks and just link to more places, I reckon.  Do you have a suggestion, or want to do a link exchange, or even ad exchange?  Hit a bruddah up at, y'know? :D

If you happen to have any other suggestions, by all means go for it!  In the meantime, do please continue to share my tweets, post submissions, and faecbawks status updates to your hearts' content~!

Well, back to the grinding wheel.  Got plenty of promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep...or some shit like that.


~That Bastard


  1. I am still reading your generalist part. Youtube one done.
    About guest post, this is so insulting :) you couldnt roast me - a mean bully? You are too kind and thank you it was fun :)

    1. Blargle, I thought I WAS being mean, which is the worst part...>XD It's alright, I'll get you yet!

      By all means, read all you wish and lemme know if you like it or not. I wish I could translate it in everyone's native tongue, 'cept I'm just not that good.

      So! Butchered English for all!

  2. My my, you have a been a busy boy! I'm going squint just trying to keep up with you! The bachelor chow sounds awesome! In my opinion, the four major food groups are beans, bacon, whiskey and lard! Kidding! Have a good one. :)

    1. Two of your four food groups happen to be in MY food groups! Not so much with beans, but oh god much bacon. My muscles are TOTALLY fueled by bacon, not even jokin'.

      Doin' my best, just writin' and havin' a good time. 15 pages ready, and I'm thinking about editing and posting the first two parts while I work...or just do all five/six parts and THEN post.

      To be honest, I'd rather the latter since then I can balance out what parts go with what sequences, y'know?

  3. No upload shot of the cards? We just recently got some business cards (or bidness cards, if you will) and we've been dropping those things like Michael J. Fox dropping change at a parking meter.

    We eagerly await Taboo 1.

    1. Ain't business cards just the bidness? I actually did post which image we used for the cards over at, but yer right - I should be able to figure out how to actually post up the card itself on the Internuggets.

      As is, Taboo 1 is currently being slaved over and soon to be jizzed upon, as is proper when I write. <3

  4. I would maim an image of myself for a card. Yes, for I cannot really do damage to my physical self. Plus, I'm done with my current reading and going about loading up the taboos series and the generalist to whet my literary appetite. Much love, brotha.

    1. Salakum salaam, mah nigga. I probably wrote that wrong, whatever - I'm not even a Muslim.

      Lololololol, dude you should TOTALLY do what Andrew W.K. did. Dude popped himself in the face with a brick for the I Get Wet album. DO IT FOR ROCK AND ROLL, DUDE, DO IT FOR ROCK AND ROLL!!!!!

      Or just take a picture of yourself dressed like a bum and sleepy, don't do yer hair, then shoop it into a sepia tone. I'm just sayin', that might be cool for an artistic bidness card.

      Dude. Read it. Read Taboo 1 when it drops. Enjoy it. Lemme know what ya think with each part.

      Much love, mah brotha from some otha mutha.

  5. Man! I'd really want to some of that heart attack recipe. Haha, just kidding. But really, who eats that much fat? :3

    1. I personally load up on the cardio if I'm gonna eat after biscuit covered in delicious. Honestly you have to be able to be prepared for such a caloric slam, not to mention to just be USED to eating food that heavy.

      ...Caloric Slam. Huh...that's kind of a cooler name than simply Heart Attack, y'know? Maybe I'll change it...we'll see. :D

  6. I wanna have a roasting over at my blog.

    1. Ah-wha? Huh? Who the...wait, are you even a follower of mine, or just a stalker? XD

      I mean, tonight was the first night I checked out yer blogs, I dunno if I could roast you. I could TRY...I mean, a ginger Scottish lass living in South Africa? I could TOTALLY turn that into a sitcom.

      Besides, if I end up liking your blog it'll ruin my meanness and then I won't roast you properly - see MaMTC's roast.

      But I don't mind checking you out though - YOUR BLOG, I mean checking out your blogs. Some cool stuff there, yeah. :D

      Roasting though? Hit me up at and let's talk~!

  7. Hi, I just found your blog, looks really nice, looking forward to hearing more from you.

    1. By all means! Have yerself a good time, I got a ton of blogs to choose from. :D