Friday, August 24, 2012

This No-Good, Horribad, Clusternutfuck Of A Motherfuckin' Day

OHHHHHH baby.  I don't even know where to begin with on all the updates and such...

Well, let's start with this: within the month I'll be able to be active again.  There's that much.

But ugh, oh current daily pattern is killing me.  Like seriously physically killing me.

Gah, let's start from the get-go, yeah?  And dispense with my usual format at that, things are that bad for me.  Not, like, SUPER bad, just bad fucking enough that my Rage Trigger has been consistently molested throughout the day.

So, where to begin?  Some of you may remember from my previous post of where I'm workin' at.  I'm here to tell you, things have only gotten worse.  Now, while things are going BACK to a "normal" three-on, four-on work schedule (one week I'll have three 12 hour shifts, the next week four) as of this week, things have only gotten worse with the night shift having to babysit and cover the lazy fucktards at day shift.  We cover the numbers, we clean up the place after they leave, emptying out hoppers, I mean...the list goes on and on.  On the plus side, I've been put to some spy work and was able to take pictures that will be delivered to the supervisors who will hopefully do something with them.

Because it's not day shift inexactly, they practically have an entire crew of new people now, people whom WE have to pull double duty and train and teach the cleaning/running method of taking care of the goddamn machines.  No, the problem lays completely in their leads and tenure people.  Basically, motherfuckers who've been here for, like, ten years and have come upon the idea that they're so untouchable that they can get away with anything they want.

Hopefully the pictures I've taken (including more than a couple of safety violations) will soon change their minds.  I only hope I get a chance to get in their fucking faces and let them know that it was I, That Bastard, who drove the dagger into their skulls and twisted the blade.  I want them to KNOW I was the motherfucker who made waves, who didn't bow down and just bare throat like everyone else who came across this problem, and oh yes that is what's happened my friends.  I've been warned more than twice to just "deal with it" like "everyone else," and the problem is that A) I'm me, and B) they asked me to return despite my own warnings to them of how I am, and how I simply cannot accept this.

Either they will get rid of me (and who knows, they just might if they figure this blog out) or they will bend to my will on this subject.

And trust me, my friends, my will is FAR greater than this trio of lazy-assed fucktartlets.  Either I'll be asked to never return or there will be new leads on day shift, barring that the leads on day shift shall be thoroughly chastised, demoted, humiliated and held up as an example of ineffective, inefficient work.

By now y'all oughta know, I hold a grudge until I die.  This doesn't make me petty, it makes you a target.

Anyway, there's that.  By the time I come home I'm lucky if I have enough energy to cook dinner, let alone do any typing.

And that, my friends, is a problem with me.

Y'see, I like to write.  I live to write.  One could even say that if I had a true love that wasn't human or tangible, it'd be the written word.

Or shouting.  I am a loud person, and just LUUUURVE to shout.

But yeah, I've never been happier in my life than when I'm writing, and I actually look back at writing these blogs with a sincere fondness, for all that I didn't have many readers...but the ones I got are true-blue and still keep up with me today, y'knowwhatImean?

But I miss having a heavy metal band.  I miss writing these blogs.  I miss having the energy to write two novellas a month.

And now I gotta get that back.

And that's part of what's grippin' my gonads today, y'know?  Firstus, I awoke on the severely wrong side of the couch.  As of late my right eye has been completely red (either eye strain or some constant irritation, no one seems to know - it's not pink eye and it's not iritis, I know that much for certain), and it only lessens when I use the Visine.

So yeah, I wake up pissed.  Like, freaked out my homeboy pissed.  Tangibly angry.

And this was after about an hour or two of being aware of my surroundings (not awake, just aware) and hearing every goddamn thing Vorel, Zen, and all of 'em talking and carrying on.  This isn't a bad thing, and Gods know I'd usually just wake up and gladly join in...but for whatever reason, upon hearing them knock on the door I was just in one massive Rage Trigger mode.

So I, instead, opted to stay quiet and feign sleep.  I sometimes mumbled at Vee, but otherwise I "slept."  Until a cell phone rang.

It was strange, realizing that people were scrambling for that phone in order to not "awaken" me, and even hearing Vee at one point in time call out, "Get the phone, it'll wake up J!"

But I still awakened angry enough for it to be tangible.  And that wrath remained until a clear three hours later, and has only been banked since then, threatening to spark up at the dumbest reason or least excuse.

And that's the worst part about it, my friends.  There have been SO many dumb reasons to get mad today!

I mean, y'all already oughta know I'm a rager.  I do have my anger issues, for all that they're under control, but my God today has been a test of my limits!  Idiot Canadians on the road (GO HOOOOME!), idiots in the shopping lines, bad food from a deli (Safeway, how can you NOT make awesome chicken strips?  How could you do this to me?! =TDT= ), the car I recently bought OH GOD POPS.

So.  My 1992 Oldsmobile 88 Royale LS.  Pops.  Got 'im for 500 bucks, paid 227 for a new windshield, 80 bucks tabs and title, 'roundabout 200 bucks for a badassed tuneup with a friend of mine, god knows how much I've had to pay in gas since getting him...

And now the radiator has a freakin' crack in it (on top of one of the main hose things on the sides) that is constantly leaking steam, and so the fluid needs to be topped, and the transmission is practically dead.

The radiator?  103 bucks and some change, free shipping and my homeboy can replace it for ten bucks or so.

The tranny?  2200 to 2400 AGUHGUGUGUGUGUGUGUGUGUGUGUGUH!!!!!! yeah.  That one.  I've called a coupla specialists, and they both agree - if it ends up being the transmission fluid needs to be flushed and replaced, or there is debris in the pan (thus needing a fush anyway, or somethin') then the resultant fixes are STILL cheaper than a full tranny rebuild.

I don't know, friends, I just don't know.

So.  Yes.  On top of all this a ladyfriend of mine who has been in and out of a coma apparently had her throat slit by her younger brother and is back in an unconscious state.

I'll let that sink in for a bit.  Why haven't I killed him myself, you ask?  Because they're both in Hawaii, where I simply don't have the money to go finish this shit.

So yes.  Yesssss.  Today is just a fucking bad day.

On the plus side, my daily pattern is going to change soon.  My daily pattern is GOING to change soon, godammit~!  It has to.

Because I need to write again.  While it does feel like I've gotten stronger, it's not the kind of strength that I need right now - 12 hours of calisthenics and machine wrestling is all good for the musculature, but I don't mind small gains using the Handjobber 5000, free weights, the Perfect Pushups and the ab roller.  Not to mention I'm able to somewhat run again, which I need to have the energy to do so once more.

No, I need to write again.  I need to move out and get my own place.  I need a job that's actually IN Bellingham, due to gas reasons alone if not my car on the verge of dying all the goddamn time.

Things are going to change, and I'll be able to write here again on the normal, twice a week like I used ta.

You can take THAT to the motherfuckin' bank!

So.  There ya go.  I'll post up some other stuff, recently did the Burlesque photo shoot as one of the Johns, so that'll go up at Nerf All The Things, and I've got some podcast stuff to post up soon from there as well.  We've actually got a review for The Hooligans, but we gotta re-do the damn thing: apparently half of it wasn't recorded as video.  Ungh.

Altogether, just gonna get back to the path and get on with the gettin' on.  Because this current pattern is NOT one that is allowing me to heal and grow stronger.

And I simply cannot allow that.


~That Bastard

P.S. - Also, Shittychat.  Also, disco shoes.

Also, dicks.

P.P.S. - Oh man, I am THAT off my feed.  You oughta know I'm halfway done with Taboo 2.  I haven't forgotten Battleworld, nor the rebuild of Anubis Unit.  If you haven't yet you can follow me at Twitter with @thatbastardfb, at Faecbawks with /thatbastardfrombellingham, and I don't even remember what my Googles+ is for again.

My usual sites are:

The Pen Is My Sword

KAOS: Chaos Party Radio

Nerf All The Things!

Ugh.  Things will get better soon, kids.  Uncle Bastards' word on it.

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