Friday, September 28, 2012

....featured links, updates, marketing, exhaustion and more~!

Featured Link

So, it just dawned on me that one of those old-school (for me, lol) blogs I've been followin' for some time and interacted with, I've completely ignored showin' love for!

So hell, this one's for you, Zedd!

When it comes to the factions of the internet (Pirates versus Ninjas, Geeks versus Jocks, Everyone versus Ponyfags, Aspergers versus Assburgers, Autismals versus...well, you get the point), I'm staunchly Survivor.  Humans versus Zombies?  We will win, because in the apocalypse that comes the zombies will have created their own demise: the Survivor, barely hanging on and determined to outlive, outlast, and outshoot everyone else.

On the other hand, Zedd has also enabled me to consider things from the Zombies' point of view, the pathos that lays behind their pathetic plight.

And, let's just face it, they're freakin' awesome.

So yeah, this is where I go for my daily dose of global Zombie news~!  Plus I was buying advertising space from him for, like, three or six months lol...

Zombies Everywhere!

Tell 'im That Bastard sent ya for 55% more graaarrrrghgahghaaaaargh...


So, I've finally taken the first step towards gettin' publishin' m'damn self.  I'm still going to send out query letters, but this way appeals to the blogger in me which, let's face it, LOVES bloggin' and writin' in general.  So, suffice it to say this is just feakin' cool for me...especially when I finally brutishly bashed my way through the Meatgrinder, the formatting program over at Smashwords that ensures all submissions follow their guidelines.

Anyway, dig it y'all -

The Generalist - Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories,

Amazong ($2.99, should be $1.50 soon)
ASIN: B009F7K5U4

Smashwords ($1.50 right the hell now!)
ISBN: 9781301520411

So let's say you ain't got a buck-fiddy, right?  Well then you can always read the unedited, raw versions over at The Pen Is My Sword (, and STILL write up a review, fave it, like it, and rate it over at Amazon~!  And, even better than all that?  Hook a brotha up and retweet my twitter posts to yer twitter and faecbawks friends!  Spread the link and the prices around, hook me up a little bit here.

Just gotta get the message out to those who enjoy urban fantasy literature, y'knowwhatImean?

Marketing Blues

Yeah, y'know...I have a baaaad history with marketing.  I can't even advertise properly for my damn blogs, let alone for a book. =@3@= For some reason though, I just feel like this novella series is somehow gonna snag more attention than my "LOOK AT ME!" attention whore advertising.  I dunno.

Still, maaaaaaan...I am just freakin' exhausted from this week.  If I'm not lookin' for a job then I was smashing my skull against Meatgrinder.  If it wasn't that, I was taking care of bullshit with Amazong, which STILL hasn't caught up with my price change.  It STILL says I'm sellin' it at $2.99, and I won't raise the price until Taboo 1 drops next week.

Bah, I might keep it at 1.50 if they're gonna take their time like this.

Anyway, I'm racking my brains and lookin' around, seein' what I can do.  There's, but I don't quite see how I can sell a $1.50 novella over there for $5.  There's Craigslist, but they won't let me pop a direct link there...and I don't see how I can get around it.  Perhaps prepare a reading event of some sort?  Share the blog and Amazon link that way?

I'm also going to be contacting a coupla local celebrities, see if I can snag some free advertisement space and a nod to their followship.  We'll see.

Ultimately though, I'm gettin' caught up on blogosphere bidness then it's back to finishing Taboo 2~!  I'm actually almost done with it, and once I've edited it slightly I'll post it up at The Pen, of course. :D  You guys will lemme know what you think, won't you?

Bachelor Chow

Y'know, another thing we're gonna publish is the Bachelor Chow book.  Literally, a Hooligans guide to cookin'~!  Speakin' of which, have I done this yet?

Breakfast Potato~!

It's simple, really.  Here's the list:

A potato
Sour cream
Two eggs
Two strips of low sodium bacon
Shredded cheddar cheese/a dollop of neuschtafel cream cheese

Well there you go!  Bake the potato (let's face it, yer gonna microwave it) and cook the bacon.  Slather butter and bacon into the baked and cut potato (or if yer feelin' greasy, forgo the butter and just use some of the bacon grease), cook the eggs in the delicious grease left behind by the bacon.

Add the eggs, top with cheese, sour cream, chives, more cheese.  I prefer that lowfat cream cheese (neuschtafel, lol...what a freakin' word.  Neuschtafel.  Neuf cheese.  Newfies?), but hey go with whatevers.

This can be a pretty quick way of goin' about it, and is basically the breakfast sandwich...sans bread, add potato though.  For those on a SEVERE budget, it may help though since a five pound of potatoes can sometimes last ya longer than several loaves of bread.

Give it a try, you might like it~!

I Have So Many NAAAAAMES....

Jesus christ, I think I'm on the verge of schizophrenic multiple personality disorder. D:


That Bastard: my bloggin' and chattin' name, what everyone refers to me as eventually
Thomas Duder: my pen name and faecbawks name, what I sometimes go as
Malice: I'm officially changing my model name to this.  Let's see how many anger-related shots I can pull off!  As is this is my gaming name, and the games I play - they knooooow me as this, y'know?  Like they get all strangely offended to find out my other names/real name. D:
J: What I'm known by just about everyone elsewhere, in real life.  Hell, even my parents refer to me to my nieces and nephew as "Uncle J."

So yeah, there's also cross-permutations where I've been called other names for different purposes in real life.  Either way, I'm startin' to develop a freakin' issue about it!

Thankfully my parents and beloveds keep me grounded. =@3@=  No, seriously, it sometimes sounds so alien when someone calls me by my real name nowadays, lol.

The usual request. :D

Well.  You oughta be used to this.  Don't think I didn't notice no one spoke up and commented in the last post~! =@3@;;= It's okay, I forgive you.

So.  Instead of punishment, how about I ask for your help?  As always, retweet my tweets, reposts my facebook statuses concerning my blog posts and The Generalist~!

Do a brotha a favor, I seem to have an issue being seen. D:

TWITTER: @ThatBastardFB
FACEBOOK: : /ThatBastardFromBellingham (
GOOGLES+: ThomasDuder

Yes I have a tumblr.  Point them to here ( or The Pen itself ( and it's alll good.


~That Bastard

P.S. - didja realize there's someone else who calls their blog The Pen Is My Sword...but the URL is just The Pen Sword?  She ALSO published a book through Kindle Direct Publishing!

The last post is last year.  Too bad...probably would've been some interesting drama as we blogwarred against each other.  Thankfully I've been at this blog title since before hers, but stilllll...would've been fun. :D

Oh's to missed opportunities~!

P.P.S. - YOU wanna interview me?  Hit me up, we'll do a link exchange or somethin'. :D  Interview for an interview, eh?  Sure I'm already doing the Featured Link, but heeeey...sometimes other peoples' words are good too. :3

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Yeap.  It's happened.  I'm sellin' The Generalist - Taboo 0: Cliché of Memories over at Amazong right the hell now~!  All 44 pages with as complete an editing job as I can muster, a bit more content (to patch up some of the holes I purposefully left in when I posted it here~!), and also with this snazzy cover done by none other than Jade herself over at Jaded Shots (!

So the current edition of Taboo 0 is, well not WONKY, but I'm reformatting it for Smashwords (so you Nook readers and fellow Barnes and Noble whores can snag it up~!) and will be moving the Authors' Notes to the back.  That and a major relevation: it's currently up for $2.99, which is outrageous since I wasn't going to raise the price until Taboo 1 is released~!  It SHOULD be at the wonderfully low price of $1.50, but bah...fucking Amazong is dragging their feet.

Still, I'm as excited as it gets and am more than willin' to spread this around!  Let yer friends know, tell yer folks, scream it to the goddamn hills.

The Man In Black is slingin' dem books.

Retweet mah tweets, repost dem posts, spread that link around!  OR you can search me on Amazon simply by typing in "Thomas Duder" or "Thomas Duder The Generalist" at the Amazong search bar~!

I'd suggest waiting 'til the price drops to $1.50, but hey - if you've already read it here and like what you've read, go ahead and gimme some stars and a review!  If you can't afford the buck fiddy, an honest review and star will help me out tremendously anyway. :D

Buy the e-book as a cheap gift for your loved one!  Hell, buy a Kindle and pre-load it with this puppy before putting it in their stocking stuffer!

Do what you do, mah peoples, and spread it around~!


~Thomas Duder

P.S. - Say, you on the KDP Forums?  I've been recently stomping around over at that unmoderated trolls' paradise and havin' a ball!  There's some genuinely sensitive souls there, and people who genuinely are looking to expand their marketing networks and establish new contacts as well as learning tips and tricks of marketing and self-publishing.

Then there's people like me, and those are the one's I've been jukin' around with. :D

So if yer already there, gimme a holler at "thomasduder" yeah?

Monday, September 3, 2012

...on keepin' up, on gettin' back, on bein' here~!

Featured Link

Ohhhhh baby, things have just been busy, haven't they?  Well, let's get started by introducing a new Featured Link, eh?  Well, y'know where I go for some seriously high-falutin', awesome movies in a cinemablog?

No, not Beasts In Human Skin, I already covered that low-browed blog full of blood, babes, and totally rawkin' bewbage.  No, I'm talkin' about his polar opposite in which-brow-is-which cinematography.  Besides, Banacek covers grindhouse and exploitation films.

No, I'm talkin' about the man and blog who put me onto Ingmar Bergman's "Persona," a wonderful movie you can find on Netflix nonetheless!  I'm talkin' about the man who digs David Lynch  movies and the occasional "stupid humor" movie.

I'm talkn' about the Film Geek Bastard over at "A Girl And A Gun: A Cinematic Blog."

No, seriously, there's a reason why whenever I'm in the mood for some serious cinematic and historical relevance, I come to THIS guy!  With an ongoing list of the truly "great" movies and their relevance to cinema history, not to mention a covering of his favorite movies out there (I STILL gotta see Blue Velvet and Lost Highway!  DAMN YOU NETFLIIIIIX!), ol' F.G. does a great job postin' up the kinda stuff you want to watch when you want to pull out your film geek card at a casual dining experience.

"Well, you COULD say Lost Highway was a metaphor for a man going through Purgatory towards Hell, but you've obviously never seen Sleepless in Seattle!"

Hey, fuck you, Sleepless in Seattle sucked.  If you want to watch a real Billy Crystal movie, go watch Forget Paris or City Slickers.

Even City Slickers II: Legend of Curly.

A Girl And A Gun: A Cinematic Blog

Tell 'im That Bastard sent you and you'll probably get 36% more of...well, nothing.  I'd be surprised if the guy even remembers me, I've been on and off the blog scene so many times. >XD

Recent Writing Stuff

I really should be talking about the work I'm doing on Taboo 2, which shortly after I'll start seeking in earnest for an agent and a publisher.  More query letters time (I only got, like, two responses back from the initial three I sent...both negative, but still filled me with optimism!), but at least I'll have a larger package to show off rather than just the two novellas and the poetry (hurr hurr hurr, larger package).  Altogether, I've posted some new stuff over at The Pen Is My Sword and if you haven't read it...well, you're a jerk.  Go read it.  It's good. <3

In the meantime, you wanna see how I start off the ideas for scripts/lyrics/literature?  Check this out, fresh out of my head in a recent 3 a.m. foray at work, shared with like five other people who thought it was an amazingly awesome B-rated idea.

Prepare to love me, and realize I have two other movie ideas featuring ninjas that are pretty much like this.


Boltcutters Versus Chainsaw: The Movie

An alien organism takes over a small city/town, turning the people into chaotic, violent, cannibalistic nightmares.  Basically turns it into a lawless town that lives to cause havoc and war on other cities.  As the disease spreads, many do the damndest just not to get caught.

Their leader is a man who calls himself Jagi Zero One, a man invulnerable to bullets and wields a massive chainsaw that can split cars in half with a single swipe, supposedly made from the bones of the aliens' previous body itself.

Enter a traveling Winnebago and a seemingly homeless man, dressed in rags and coats, who reveals himself to be an intergalactic bounty hunter (Noman A. Tall, a.k.a. - DARZURB the Bounty Hunter) who came after the alien criminal who crash-landed on this planet.  Armed with powerful martial arts and a gizmo-laden pair of bolt cutters, he savages his way through the entire city, defeating each mini-boss and diving further past the barricades until the epic, climactic battle between himself and his ultimate goal: Jagi.

In a no holds-barred drag-out, knuckles-bared, balls-to-the-wall slobberknocker will the fate of the world be decided as Jagi unleashes his chainsaw against Noman's bolt cutters!

"I've seen all your tricks, Jagi, and I want to finally reveal my best one to you.  You see, I don't have one bolt cutter...I have had TWO this entire time!!!!"

"My name?  My name is Noman.  Noman A. Tall." >chuckles<
"Why are you laughing?"
"No..uh, no reason.  Why?  Why are YOU laughing?"

(a.k.a. Hobo With A Shotgun versus Fist Of The North Star versus Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome versus Escape from Whatever/LA/New York)


Now by the time I've gotten around to actually writing this up, I'd've come up with waaaaay better backstory, some more interesting side characters for DARZURB (yes, all caps all the time) to run across and interact with, actually plotting out the gadgetry and mechanical bullshit for his bolt cutters, and (naturally) the combat scenes that comprise the majority of this movie/series/whatever.

And THAT is the little peek inside my brain, how most of my bullshit starts. :D  Admittedly this is waaaay bare bones, but you get the picture - usually I'll have a skeletal structure that is major scene by scene/chapter by chapter and actually plot out what I'm going to do, but I've got more than a few ideas that start off just like this.  Plus this is a B-rated action movie idea.

Sometimes, you NEED it to be intentionally bad and grindhouse-y.  Blood, boobs, and beatdowns aplenty.  Plus you never realize how awesome a tool a pair of bolt cutters are until you hold onto a pair that are larger than your arms, slung against your shoulder and you start making special attacks with 'em.

If you dug this, I might post up the other two B-rated movie snipped ideas I had over at Pen, but I figured meh, why not post 'em here first?  We'll see.  Lemme know what ya think~!

Roll Call!

Some of my regular readers may not know I'm back.  Let's try something different - in the comment section proclaim that you are here and if you are willing to spread the gospel that is my bullshit!  Think you can pass me around on the Faecbawks and Twitter scene like a gangster lean?

I'd be ever so grateful if you did!

Rage of Bahamut and Abusing My Twitter Feed

So yeah, I think I've already explained why I abuse both my Twitter and my Faecbawks for free cards and riches on Rage of Bahamut.  I mean, why not so long as the offer is still there, right?

Well, now the good people of Cygames/Mobage have instituted an absolute ban on all trading until...well, they haven't actually TOLD us when.  So yeah, I'm lookin' pretty hard at the whole tweeting every day thing and even if it IS automatically generated, I realize I'm kinda annoyed at them for this whole trading issue.  I mean, trading (and the Marketplace over at the unofficial forums) are a kinda metagame for me, one that's actually getting me interested in Poker and the stock market again.

So yeah, I'm kinda them for taking away such a vital piece of the game, even if it's for a limited time, and without notification of when we're gonna get it back at that.

No, what do they do?  A log-in bonus stamp game that will reward everyone with an upgraded version of Angel Queen and a practically useless Secret Rare that will probably be worth only 1 holy powder (the common trading currency) since EVERYONE will have one.

Yet despite all this I became the leader of an Order, established the wikipedia and forums for 'em, and all seems to have gone smooth with the merger of another Order to create: Grim Rock.

Fun times, fun times..I'd invite you guys, 'cept we're all completely full.  Like I had to butcher inactives and still we needed one person to leave just so we can ensure a single slot is open for just in case measures.

Still, if you fancy playin' I've written a few articles that might make it a bit easier on ya in what you decide to do with the game, and there's plenty of material already at the unofficial forums on gettn' started, what all three realms are like currently, and other fun tidbits.

And naturally I wrote up a parody guide on how to deal with the Marketplace and the cutthroats and scammers that infest the woodwork.

No, seriously, if you can learn how to get around them and the "lowballers," the Marketplace is a fun metagame of sorts, with plenty of trading going down all around the clock.

...normally.  ::sighs::

Party Like A Rock Star

So a friend and photographer of mine, Jazz of Tilted Canvas Productions (, just had her birthday recently and guess who got invited to go bar crawlin' and club hoppin'?

Yeap.  Yers truly, alongside the lovely and talented Vorel Kethend of Modeling In The Rain ( and my co-model for several shoots.  Suffice it to say shit was aaaaawesome, and Vee actually covers it in somewhat detail (and with more pictures!) over at her blog.  G'wan over and say helloo, check it out, and see how we do what we do where we at.

Or somethin' like that, lol. to see some of the pictures. :D

Work, work, work and the daily grind

Despite the recent clubbin' and what-not,'s just been nothin' but work.  I've mentioned it here before, even ranted a bit in the previous post, and ohhhhh boy.  Despite all that, I've been offered a job there.

Like, seriously: the boss just walked on up, gave me and another worker "The Talk," asked if we wanted to work there, the company willing to even work with both of us if we go back to school.

So yeah, there's that.

Now, here's the thing...beforehand, I probably would've point-blank considered this a no-go, but the thing is...there's these manufactured houses I've been lookin' at that are pretty much 29 grand, and a 12-grand one in Ferndale that's got this humongous corner-style bathtub.  And a job that's willing to work around college hours...I dunno.

I simply don't know.

Honestly it all depends on if the boss in question uses my photos and makes a compelling presentation enough to gets things shaken up over there, 'cuz the way it stands right now I'll accept the job but I certainly won't be settled while I"m there.  If anything I'll only make myself a bigger nuisance, a bigger thorn in day shifts' side, y'knowwhatImean?

At least if the boss gets the trio dealt with, I can accept the job and just move on with my life as normal.  School, modeling, writing, blogging, working.  Finally get a balance in all things.

I mean, it's not much to ask for, is it? it?

Well.  That's all for now.  I continue to plug away at Taboo 2 with the full intention and ability to finish it, if only I can keep up the energy and momentum of a daily pattern that ISN'T going to kill me. D:

We'll see, we'll see.


That Bastard

P.S. - One last thing.  Y'know what annoys me?  Whenever someone hands me a card or points me to a place with, like, ten or twenty different blogs or websites on it, I immediately know A) which one's the main one and B) what the network is like, if it's good and stable or not if it's the kinda bullshit that just leads you to adverts and pop-unders.

So what annoys me?  When I hand my card to someone and they can immediately spot one or two sites that can take you to all nine...and instead choose to ignore 'em all 'cuz it's too hard to go to even one.

I mean I had to hear 'bout this!  Am I honestly the one who gets this kind of thing, I mean there are plenty of others with multiple sites on a card and THEY never get crosstalk about it.

Maybe I'm just fated to be the only guy with multiple sites who gets that kinda talkin', I dunno...I'm not complainin' 'bout it, it's just...I gotta share it with SOMEONE, y'know?

If I can't share it with you guys, who can I share it with?

Except for you.  Yeah, you.  Over there.

I fucking loathe you so very fucking much, you have no idea.

P.P.S. - If you ain't sharin' my blog with yer friends, retweeting mah tweets, or sharing my facebook statuses then why ain't ya?  I've got it plastered all over the place!

Okay, okay, let's do this again:

The Pen Is My Sword (full of poetry, lyrics, novella series The Generalist and my game writing for Extreme Existence: Battleworld)

KAOS: Chaos Party Radio (lol, my "radio" blog featuring video-game review podcasts of The Hooligans)

The Hooligans @ Nerf All The Things! (the things The Hooligans do outside of the show, like modelling, photo shoots, and more~!)

Twitter: @thatbastardfb
Youtube (sound bytes, voice acting, personal podcasts, and more!): /jdwforever
Faecbawks: /thatbastardfrombellingham

Funny story, that's the stuff I've got up on the articles at the unofficial Rage of Bahamut forums, lol...