Friday, February 24, 2012

...on bein' busy, being broke, and HOLY FUCK I'M SICK!

Featured Links

Well, a big hand for the previous two! Now, funny story...I've got two more for ya. The funny part is that I'm so throatsore from coughing and dizzy as of writing this that I completely forgot who I said I'd give this to.

So if I said I'd put you on the Featured Links this post and you're not here, please lemme know via e-mail: thatbastardfb@gmail.com, okay?

In the meantime, lemme focus your attention on two homeboys of mine, one that I haven't seen in damn near ten years and one that I saw just last week.

First thing's first, lemme point ya to the man who has proven that I alone in being a strange blend of badassed martial prowess and geeky skill, a man who shames my meager programming skills with his own amazing control of PHP, C++, and more.

I'm talkin' 'bout the Nerdy Mike, my old school chum from back in the day. Hit him up over at The Nerdy Mike, found here: http://the.nerdymike.com, for tech news and start making connections with a hardcore programmer. Get a quote, get skillful work DONE mang.

The Nerdy Mike
http://the.nerdymike.com

If I'm Laurel, he's Hardy. Er...whichever one's the big guy, that's me.

And now to the brotha who ain't just my brother, he's my brother's brotha, man. I'm talkin' about the Bruce Lee-muscled, lanky-body connected by head and feet...and you don't want any of 'em upside yer head. Seriously, dis brotha can lay a beatin' on ya, if it wasn't for his kind heart and desire for video games. Seriously, whup ass and chew bubblegum.

I'm talkin' 'bout the one, the only Mister Ace Nelson himself, the other half of the upcoming The Hooligans crew over at KAOS: Chaos Party Radio. Vidyuh games, politics, rage.

He's actually got two blogs goin', one over at Daily KOS and one that he's had here at good ol' blogspot, only he's recently come back to actually post in it. Go ahead and check him out, and be certain to let him know to bring his kind of blogging style from KOS to here, yeah? Go show love, mah peoples.

Ace Nelson at Daily Kos
http://www.dailykos.com/blog/Ace%20Nelson

Ace here at Blogspot
http://dangercombo.blogspot.com/

Remember, don't call it a comeback, call it...



If I'm Dean Martin, Ace is my Sammy Davis Jr. PERIOD, full stop, end of rine.

Gary Stu'ing in other movies

Y'know, the original Cannonball Run (and, also, the sequel though some may say they didn't like it) has such a colorful cast of characters, it's hard to really put your finger on it which one resembles yourself the most.

I'd like to say that the "main character" J.J. reminds me of myself. Or even "Mad Dog."

But honestly the Sheik is probably the most me-like. Loud, brash, arrogant, willing to lay it on the line and back his shit talking up, so fucking superior the fight's already done before he threw a punch.

Seriously, this guy has a zeal and zest for his personal pursuits that I can only hope that my own lives up to such a standard.

Just sayin'...



Broke.

Yeap. I'm broke. Not even funny broke. What's worse is that I got Kaplan University calling me up 'bout getting with them, but they're an online university.

On the other hand, I've already learned that the closest place that even HAS medical transcription training is a clear hour from where I live, and I simply don't have the gas money to get there and back on a daily basis.

Yeap. The rock and hard place I find myself in continues.

Time to get busy!

So yeap, the websites are ALLLLMOST done. I just gotta buckle down, find a template for Legion HQ and get KAOS: Chaos Party Radio set up and situated.

In the meantime, in my sickly and compromised state, I've been focusing on a project for shittychat rather than working on stuff I SHOULD be working on. LOL my inability to focus on anything I want to while sick.

Sick. Yupyupyupyupyup.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh. I've been coughing dryly for the past three days now. Four days ago I woke up with muffins comin' outta my mouth I had so much lung batter, a headache that could kill a moose, and right now the dizzy spells keep coming and going.

At least I got juice now, and it's not like I DIDN'T have soup...I just didn't have anything beyond campbells tomato soup and chicken noodle soup.

LOL first world problems, yada yada yada. At least I got somethin' different now that isn't cream-based...or campbells.

I don't even know why the fuck I have so many cans of campbell soups around anyway, fuck 'em.

DO YOU LIEK TEH NEW SITE?!

I've already heard from some of ya about it, but the rest of ya - what do you think? Don't forget you can still find me at the usual spots (Googles+, Twitter, Faecbawks) as well as following me in my main overblog, http://www.thepenismysword.com, best way to keep up with ALL of my blogs and which one has the newest updates and such.

In the meantime, I'm going to mix myself another orange-pineapple juice/sprizzle combo and chill back at shittychat.com, y'know?

Uggggh, I'm too sick for this shit.

Let's close out with a super-high note, yes?

I WON AN AWAAAAAARD!

The Liebster Award, which I haven't a clue what it means lol. I'm so sick right now I don't remember shit.

RANDOOM, MAH NIGGA, is the one who gave it to me. Uh, Shockgrubz over at Randoom....Blog...

Bleh, waht am I supposed to do here? Uh...here...here's the award...I'll post it on a special page just for awards...or something....

Okay, so:

Rule 1 - Link back to the person who gave it to you.
Well that part's easy, I think he's even been a Featured Link here before~! I'm talkin' 'bout Shockgrubz, who runs two blogs:

Randoom Blog
http://randoomblog.blogspot.com

New Stuff (tech, current events in tech, all things interesting that is tech related~!)
http://shockgrubz.blogspot.com

Rule 2 - Tag 5 people.

Aw fuck you, I hate doing this. Oh well, five people who deserve this award iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis.....

I. A Beer For The Shower
Great writing style, great blogsite, and it's because of their genuine patience with me that I've even come across the idea of re-doing my own site into something more palatable and easier to navigate.

A Beer For The Shower
http://www.abeerfortheshower.com

II. Banacek
My low-brow love of sexploitation, blaxploitation, grindhouse, skinflick horrors and 70's pornography is completely and perfectly encapsulated by Banacek's "Beasts In Human Skin." His writing style is awesome, his taste in movies is exquisite, and if you think a night of watching any movie get torn to shreds by Mystery Science Theater 3000 is a good night of movie watching, then you'll dig what he offers.

Plus he has a Youtube Grindhouse Theater! How cool is that? Free movies from thirty years ago? FUCK YEAH BOYEE! It's like we're really in /netflix/...

Beasts In Human Skin
http://www.beastsinhumanskin.com

III. Film Geek Bastard
We've bounced from low brow to high brow with this 'un. F.G. Bastard not only shares with me a part of my screen name (BASTARDS UNITE, FEEL US RISE MY NIGGAS!) but also a sincere love of quality, well-made as well as independent movies. Plus I think he's actually a professional reviewer or something.

Lucky bastard.

He can certainly present a movie better than I can, and give you way more professional reasonings and courtesies then I ever could~! He's currently recounting some of the finer movies by year in a series of lists, and they're all well worth checking out if for nothing else to take a trip down memory lane or be reminded of a movie that you never saw but really wanted to.

Well now's the time to do it!

A Girl And A Gun: The Cinematic Blog
http://filmgeekbastard.blogspot.com

IV. Tracirz
Tracirz, ahhhhh Tracirz~! Minimalist sensibilities, wonderful afternoons with warm tea and friends, it's kinda weird how girlish she gets sometimes with her blog and yet as manly as I am our sensibilities run parallel. One of the most fun times I've ever had NOT with my friends was when I and my ex-Partner In Crime had invited our landlady to enjoy some fresh loose-leaf tea and some kind of pound cake thing.

It's weird, tea time shouldn't be so much fucking fun for a guy like me. Yet gimme a buttery scone with some real raspberry preseves, a berry tea of some sort and I'm fuckin' putty in yer hands.

...anyway, Tracirz~! Music, minimalism, and recently a midget. Go check her out~!

http://technicolortypecast.blogspot.com

V. Bonafide Jones
MAH NIGGA BONAFIDE JONES~!!! More modnar than you need, and he's recently breakin' into music reviews too! He's also the guy who helped me get off my duff, register my own domain name and start gettin' big with my moves.

BONAFIDE JONES, the brothaman for yo' modern day brothaman.

Bonafide Jones
http://www.bonafidejones.com

Haters become learners while we're growing stronger in the jungle. If yer not on the list, it doesn't mean that I don't have love for you, 'cuz I do, I really do! All my readers, I ain't got nothin' but love for ya, kidnix.

BUT I am biased towards those who leave comments, grafitti all over my chatongo, hang with me at shittychat.com, and follow my bullshit. This odesn't apply to ALL of 'em - Tracirz goes quite a few posts before posting something, but I really dig her minimalist philosophy and am genuinely happy for her and her new hubby Nebberz' union. Which is only kinda weird 'cuz I normally only talk to HER and have yet to even communicate once with her boy.

...I take that back, I think he left a post over at Sooth(e) once~! Anyway, I dunno maybe it's the sick and head cold talkin', but I never deny genuine communication and connection with people, and I find something endearing about reading Tracirz's adventures with her family.

On the other hand, the other four are totally commentwhores whom I happily give free lapdances to from time to time. UNF UNF UNF, I am thrusting my pelvis at them as hard as I can as of writing this. Sick or not, you cannot deny the power of my piston-like, pile-driving hips.

Rule 3. Post the Award, spread the love!




...now because I have more than five people I'd like to give this award to, I'm going to spontaneously make a second round of this award. Why?

Because, motherfucker.

VI. Copyboy
Dude, this guy just doesn't quit! He's got more posts than I have sense. Enjoy all his good randomness, learn some new shit and let 'im know that he deserves that damn Liebster award.

http://jesseacohen.blogspot.com

VII. Maxwell
HE-MAN WOMAN HATERS CLUB UP, HO'S DOWN! Holy shit I just found out he has two blogs...time for ME to go join, follow, and rape with commentary!

http://misanthropychronicles.blogspot.com/
And he's a contributor, apparently, over at http://sloppy2.blogspot.com/

Lololol, burnin' dat midnight oil, yo.

VIII. G.
Actually, G (who runs two blogs) is a REALLY FUCKING COOL BLOGGER. Like, pro-blog level and shit. BUUUUUUUT you followed and read me too recently for me to throw ya on the first round.

Persians and Medes, mah nigga. On the other hand, yer blogs are too fuckin' sweet for me NOT to post somethin', so yeaaaah here ya go!

http://www.satiricalblog.com/
http://www.bloggerati.org/

IX. Bersercules
The Berserk Hercules. He is the hero we deserve, not the hero we want. No, seriously, this guy has intestinal fortitude that is reserved only for the most heroic skalds of the past.

He's reviewing the Bibleman VHS movies.

All of them.

I salute you sir!

http://bersercules.blogspot.com

X. Timothy Bowen
Man, it's weird. Ever since I've been bloggin', this motherfucker's been a follower and the followed, we've commented up on each others' blogs...

http://www.alunaticpope.com
http://ohmyeris.blogspot.com

Oh, and did I mention he's getting into self-made VJin'? Check out his playlists, fuckin' enjoy 'em. Hell it's because of HIM I have a particular submission to make over at Sooth(e)...fuck yeah, gotta love dat disco sometimes.

Sickeningly yours,

~That Bastard

P.S. - Funny story, I turn into a total man-babby whenever I get sick. Hell, even I don't want to be around myself during times like these. All my manliness and independence and resourcefulness go RIGHT out the window, yo.

Ugh. Please make me some hot tea with honey and lemon in it, then come cuddle me while I cough against your breasts.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

MOVED TO http://www.thepenismysword.com !!

SO, I've been busy as a motherfucker 'round heah, y'know? So with that all stated, I decided that much like how I opened up the very first That Bastard On with a tagged questions survey...thing...I'll do it again now that I have this hot-and-fresh-off-the-grill subdomain.

That magnificent asshole known as Bonafide Jones (http://www.bonafidejones.com) is the jerky who tagged me. Now I'mma gonna hafta graffiti curse words and violent slurs all over his blog OH WAIT I DO THAT ALREADY!

Copypasta'd some of this 'cuz I'm gettin' shit DONE, son.

So here's the rules

Rule#1: Put the rules on your blog.
Rule#2: Every person tagged should tell 11 things about themselves, answer the 11 questions asked by the one that tagged you, tag 11 other people and ask them 11 different questions.
Rule#3: Let the people whom you tagged know you've done so.
Rule#4: Don't tag anyone who's been tagged before.
Rule#5: Really do tag 11 others, don't go all ''if you want to take this tag''.


11 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me

1) I work out, keep a journal, and yet I don't diet. Because of that, I look more like a lump than anything even remotely aesthetic. It's good to get my arms back though - thanks to the physical therapy I got my leg muscles and glutes back. I could break a motherfucker with my ass alone.

2) I have this -thing- about the number 6. If I notice that something is going to end in a 6, I go out of my way to pointedly make it 5 or 7. I haven't a fucking clue why, probably something deep-seated in my Biblical upbringing or some shit.

3) So this guy's been on the radio, y'know? Josh Powell or whatever. Dude killed his two young boys with a hatchet, then himself in a blazing gas bomb explosion. Now, the whole family is apparently a bundle of lulz (alllllll kinds of shit goin' down with them! Pedophilia, child pornography, the father's currently in jail for spying on the neighbor's daughter or whatever, just layers upon layers of lulz) for the radio and old media, but what gets me is that new information pointing to Josh's instability is that he had all kinds of rule 34 (incest and cartoon figures going at each other - Spengbab and Patrick. You cannot stop thinking about Spongebab and Patrick going at it now) on his hard drive.

This worries me, 'cuz I have EVERYTHING rule 34'd in my hard drive. To hear the old media carp about it, even having a little bit of non-vanilla pornography makes you into a psycho-killer OH WAIT NOTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT THAT THEY'VE BEEN SAYING THIS SHIT SINCE THE 50'S!

4) I'm incredibly aggressive, combative, and straight-up bluntly confrontational. I'm even halfway through a song about how blunt I am (literally, titled "Blunt as Fuck." - BE THE HAMMER, OR BE THE NAIL! FOR EVERY WIN, THERE'S ALWAYS FAIL!!!). Despite all that, I've never been called out for being an Internet Tough Guy, something that I gleefully do to others who try to step up and can't back it up.

I dunno, maybe it's 'cuz you can feel my aura or somethin'? I dunno.

5) True story: I used to be a demon hunter. Now I'll change the subject before you get all curious about it and then get all pissy when I do change the subject...I happen to type slang properly. If you don't, well FUCK YOU muhfukkuh.

6) I've started tons of personal projects, but rarely finish any of them. Despite that, I've kept all the notes and overviews and character designs and am just...well, basically, waiting for the time is right to do something with them. As of late though, it looks like I'm finally able to break out of that pattern and you have NO idea how glad I am about that!

7) I'm an absolute rageaholic. Seriously. I drink that shit up like the four cups of coffee and creatine I drink in the morning. I'm a freakin' stress sink, and thus far I've even survived my own rage backfiring on me - something that hurts a shitton more than you may think. Despite all that, I have this foundation to my daily philosophy and creed: Self-Control, Self-Accountability, and Self-Responsibility. Yes, I rage - I come HARD wit it. But...butbutbut, I never allow that shit to affect others physically (I may glare though, and I have a vicious tongue on me that practically cuts at the physical level), and I have never hit anyone who didn't swing first. I've also never hit a kid or a woman, and you can get your Feminazi balls all crunchy as much as you want - I'm proud of having never experienced that.

8) Every morning when I wake up, if I don't have someone to cuddle and kiss (ewwwww, morning breath! <3 ) then I immediately clean out my ears with q-tips. One q-tip for each ear, both sides, then a third with one side for each ear as a final clean. I don't know why. I recently went through a week of being unable to do so, having no money or q-tips left. It was the single most horrible week in my life.

9) Chauvinism and chivalry go hand in hand, and should be slathered everywhere. Hold a door open for, hell, everyone. Compliment a woman about her looks. Hold the seat out for a lady. Help an old person across the street. Yet be prepared to get your flirt on. Git them digits. Hit them sugar pie walls for about two hours, then make her breakfast (so long as ya don't wake up next to a goddamn werewolf the next morning) the next day. If she calls ya, coo. If you call her, coo. Otherwise, begin to bang every single friend and family member she has in her life. I even wrote a song about it. Growl of Steel Incarnate. Well, it's more like how a guy gets vengeance on an ex-girlfriend, but it works too.

10) I'm a Gemini.

11) I play the vidyuh. I geek hard. If you don't geek hard, ya betta ask somebody. Like recognizes like, and I hang with the hardest nerds ya ever done met. Y'know how niggas be rappin' about shit they don't know what the fuck they about? We about dat bidness. We work hard, gets paid, and whup ass both digitally and actually. Fuck you, yo hood, yo block, and the clique you claim, nigga.

Questions

1) Have you ever cheated on someone? Nope, never.

2) What do you think happens when we die? As long as the atheists and the scientoligists are wrong, I'll be happy.

3) If male, are you happy with the size of your penis? If female do you think you are pretty? I'm comfortable with my body type and all 1200 pounds of my penises. If I ever get money though, I think I might have surgery so that the so-called 1 to 3 inches of "hidden penis" can be utilized. Hey, it's MY penis, I wanna make sure I can use it at its' full potential.

4) Stars. Old light or new? Old-school celebrities are as bad as old media. Step up and get on our level already!

5) For a million dollars would you kill another person? They aren't really that important and you will not get caught. For 10 grand I'd kill another human being. I get to decide whether or not I want to take the job though.

6) As a rule, should all religions be treated/respected equally? All religions should be limited in what kind of powers they can have in America. Take away this no-taxing bullshit, force them to have NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS, and the moment they publically criticize or speak condescendingly of anyone else's religion they should be fined. I fucking hate politics nowadays, but I hate organized religion even more. That's a whole rant in and of itself, mang. I don't hate religion itself, or anyone else's beliefs (except for Satanists and scientologists. Friggin' hedonists, and Scientology is just as stupid as it gets - plus Hubbard stole the idea from Heinlein, who is a superior fiction author anyway). Funny story: due to me and my partner-in-crime parting ways relationship-ally, the question of religion came up. My own freaking mother thought I was honestly atheist! I mean, you wanna talk about a surprise! I'm not an atheist, but there's something to be said about agnosticism and the corruption of EVERY church in existence. With that stated, I like Baptists. Have fun and barbecue wit da Lawd? Nigga, I ain't talkin' 'bout dem Church Baptists. I'm talkin' 'bout CHECH, nigga. I'm talkin' 'bout gigantically fat black wimmenz fanning themselves, spry niggas backflipping down the aisle, and a quick-tongued ex-pimp baptist preachuhmang that owns three cadillacs. Speak on it.

 7) Think of something embarrassing that you did that makes you cringe every time it crosses your mind. What is it? So...so fucking many things. Thankfully I am NOT one of those types who posted stupid shit all over the place on the internet. Still...like anyone, I've had embarrassing moments that have helped me grow as a person by surviving those experiences. Hell, I can give you a list of things I HAVEN'T experienced that I'm thankful for! Like popping a boner back in high school wrestling. You can never live that shit down, yo.

8) If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? It doesn't matter whether or not they would want to see you. I'd call my parents, my loved ones, family, and friends. Then I'd lay down and go to sleep. ...unless it's something I thought I could somehow pull a Bruce Willis on. Then I call up The Hooliganz, assemble every single contact and friend that'd get my back and help me pull off this fight, and then go get my Ragnarok on. If there's even remotely a fighting chance that simply by committing myself to a battle where we might win and stop the world from ending, then I'm 1000% down for that shit. Get my gun, line up all my fucking knives, blades, and any other weapons I got, Mad Max out my Dodge Dynasty, then DO. FUCKING. IT. WHEN THE WINDS OF VALHALLA RUN COOOOOOOLD, THEN SO SHALL THE BLOOD START TO FLOOOOOOW, WHEN THE WINDS OF VALLLLHALLLA RUN COOOOOOOOOOOOLD! VALHAAAAAAAAAAAAA-LLA!!!!!!

9) Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? That's a toughie. Sure, memories make the person...but I secretly have several letters penned by myself FOR myself for just such an occasion. I have all my data here, written on the internet and in data c.d.'s and in my USB flash drives. So y'know what? Lose the old memories. Muscle memory, virtual memory and others can probably re-create my current personality without the bad memories, fears, and failures weighing me down.

10) If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Because fuck you, here bomb. No, seriously...it's because we, as humans, can never be satisfied with what we got. Now I (read that as if I'm saying IIIIIIII, y'know? Elongate dat shit) was happy and content for five years of my adult life, living on my own, working and just playing the vidyuh and fucking around on the Internuggets. But it's also five years where I didn't really focus on creating things, going ahead with certain projects like Anubis Unit, or really doing anything other than simply being content with my life. Hot showers. Lots of hot showers. Lots of hanging out with friends all over the place in Bellingham and Fairhaven. So yeah, contentment is good...but satisfaction is unattainable. Yes, those are synonymous but different. Fuck you, here bomb.

11) If Hollywood made a movie about your life, what actor do you think would be cast to play you? Woll Smoth. Jockoh Chon. Broos Wollos. Knowing my luck it'd be Steven fucking Seagal though. Sheeeit.

People DO I EVEN KNOW 11 PEOPLE HERE? LET'S SEE:

Timothy Bowen (damn straight!)
http://www.alunaticpope.com

Shockgrubs (LOL SHOCK, NO - YOU WA SHOCK!)
http://randoom.blogspot.com
http://newstuff.blogspot.com

Ace Nelson (my boy and closest bruddah IRL who isn't Karsa and outside of mah band. We may not see eye to eye all the time, but we DO see pretty much the same way when it comes to politics. Fuck everybody AND they mama, all political parties suck and suffer due to dogma and deep drafts of the kool aid)
http://www.dailykos.com/blog/Ace%20Nelson

G (YEAH I KNOW YOU JUST STARTED FOLLOWING ME I'M STILL TAGGIN' YA! HNNNNNGRASM ALL OVER YOUR FACE AND LOWER BACK!!!!)
http://www.bloggerati.com

Bersercules (I wanna see what he'll do with this...)
http://bersercules.blogspot.com

A Beer For The Shower (they probably get, like, twenty of these a day. I'm still hittin' 'em wit it.)
http://www.abeerfortheshower.com

Tracirz (and, by connection, Nebberz as well. It's weird, I know OF him but have never talked to him via comments or anything. Hope that doesn't make me sound creepy or whatever have you whenever I combine 'em both, 's just how I view things, y'know? @3@;)
http://technicolortypecast.blogspot.com

LuDubs (WUBWUBWUB)
http://thatlifeisme.blogspot.com

Copyboy (Much like Berk, I wanna see what kinda response Copyboy would give. :D )
http://jesseacohen.blogspot.com

Banacek (Part of my "moviefag" list of movie-based blogs that I read. Niggas on this list are the ones who got my respect, y'know? Maybe not all that important, but their >opinions are worthwile and Banacek is one of thsoe who never fails to deliver the good stuff. Now with Youtube Grindhouse Theater!!)
http://www.beastsinhumanskin.com

The Film Geek Bastard (Another top-tier opinionator in my hoity-toity moviefag list, F.G. Bastard not only shares part of a screenname with me but also can communicate his respect and love of cinema better than I can. Whereas I just throw CURSE WORDS around, he actually uses real words to describe exactly why these movies are awesome. Now let's see if he'll accept der tag!)
http://filmgeekbastard.blogspot.com

Are you NOT on my list? Then you're boring and probably busy suckin' a dick.

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW jokin' jokin', keep yer cool there. It just means that we don't comment a lot to one another and I don't feel close enough to send a tag yer way. Now, have you followed me but I haven't followed you? Have you made a comment and I haven't commented at you?

It's not that I'm ignoring you, I'm just busy as hell! And for what it's worth, I always reply back to comments on m'blogs and seek out the blogs of those who DO comment to leave one behind. Usually one that's way too big than is necessary, seriously.

Same thing with follows, yo.

Anyway, I got work to do. Go search "Anubis Unit" on Youtube and show love. Go to http://www.thepenismysword.com and check out the write-ups for Extreme Existence: Battleworld. Last but not least, this "blogspot" has technically closed down and has re-opened as a subdomain over at The Pen Is My Sword, my new main "overblog." Hell, a REAL overblog!

Now, I've been typing waaaay too much. Time to get back at finishing up the template for my NETWERKZ~!!!!

Love, peace, and bacon grease all up in ya's.

~ThatBastard

P.S. - Don't forget, you can also hit me up on Twitter, Googles+, Faecbawks and hey, I'm even willing to be a penpal to ya~! thatbastardfb@gmail.com is the mailer, and the best way to catch me is over at http://www.shittychat.com.

YA HEARD?!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

...Battleworld (naturally), recording woes, a promise to keep.

New Featured Link - Double Feature With E-Celebrities!!

Y'know, I rarely pander to some of the "bigger E-Celebrities," because I don't want to portray myself as a fuckin' bottom-feeding hanger-on, like those weird little fish things that hang to shark fins and eat the cast-offs, or the long trail of crap that hangs from a carp's butt.

I don't wanna be that, man. BUT, some of my commentators, critiques, and best replies always seem to be from these mega-blogs whether that title is reflected by the excellence in their content or sheer number of followers.

Normally I focus only one one blog at a time with this section, but due to a recent mega-critique which I haven't responded to yet but instead immediately began acting on with his advice in mind. In this case I"m talkin' about the LOLSORANDOM yet always so fuckin' cool Bonafide Jones. Hell, even his name sounds like a blaxploitation hero's. I half-expected some Barry Gordy's The Last Dragon action the first time I saw him comment at someone else's blog. Seriously, the brotha's got insight in Internets and knows the material he puts out, mostly funny images and the commentary that should go with them.

I mean, hell - you KNOW it's good if it makes yer boy, ThatBastard, laugh out loud and nearly spit out his coffee in a fine mist. The brotha knows his shit, yo.

Another mega-critiquer at my various blogs are the comic duo over at A Beer For The Shower. Words cannot describe how I look up to these two bastards as an artist of the written word, and despite their legion of followers they seem to always have a word or two for meh. I know they try to do this with as many as they can, but the fact that they read my tripe is like a huge SciFi neckbeard's fanfiction being followed and liked by George Takei, y'know? On the one hand, it's fanfiction written by a huge SciFi neckbeard. On the other hand, IT'S GEORGE TAKEI GODOMMOT FRONK HOW COOL IS THAT MOTHERFUCKER?

They may not be as big as George Takei (nor as homosexual, though their bromosexuality is endearing to read about. Every Jay should have a Silent Bob, yo.) when it comes to celebrity, but their e-fame and girth cannot be denied.

So for you three gents, this Featured Links Double Feature is for you!!!!

Go read Bonafide Jones and revel in his new domain name WHICH I AM FUCKING SUPERNOVA JELLY OVER:

http://www.bonafidejones.com

And go read the fraternal non-related twins of Bryan and Brandon over at:

http://www.abeerfortheshower.com

Tell 'em ThatBastard sent ya for 25% extra sassy blackness from you following them. Especially from Bryan and Brandon who are, supposedly, white.

Recording Woes

So, some of you DON'T KNOW the harrowing tale of Anubis Unit, my main band. Some of you e-detectives (all one of ya) already were able find my old DeviantArt where I posted links for both AU and No Rhymes simply because I re-uploaded those lyrics here at Blogspot, not to mention actually naming the No Rhymes concept.

Suffice it to say, Anubis Unit's tale of woe started two, damn near three years ago when I and my drummer first met while working together in a deep freezer packaging room of a certain company. I'm something of, y'know, DA PARTY when I'm workin' I do all kinds of stuff to pass the time while going through a 12-hour worknight. At nights, you GOTTA rock or shit will suck quickly.

I, as always, began to sing or hum certain tracks and quickly he'd join in on backup and drumming on whatever was closest, one time my friggin' shoulders. We quickly discerned that, musically, we meshed incredibly well with our timing and everything, so he invited me over to a jam and I slowly began to descend down that slippery slope to become a real musician and vocalist. Not that I can claim such a lofty title (seriously, you'll find me hard-pressed to ever admit that aloud), but hey - it's his fault.

THEEEEEN the violent incident with my left knee happened. Out of hurt pride I kinda cut contacts with just about everyone who knew me and buried my head into Faecbawks games for about a year or so. I also stopped singing and stopped being creative.

After six months of being in a knee immobilizer, surgery, seven months of professional physical therapy and seven more months of therapy on my own and after regaining the ability to walk again I approached my homeboy about forming Anubis Unit after all.

One year later we've gone through two guitarists, lost two or three practice areas, damn near lost his expensive drum kit and P.A. system and two "meh" stage attempts. We've had to work without a bassist for that year, and every single time we went to record it either came out sounding bad, someone was sick, or something bad happened.

We've gone two or three months twice now without practice and undergoing the stress of not knowing whether or not we're even in a band still.

THEN THIS RECENT RECORDING EVENT TOOK PLACE. Some of you know either by talking to me over the phone, in Shittychat, or just by how I type here at Blogspot that it's been Hell on wheels. Seriously, shall we recount the ways this strange entity has attempted to destroy or stop us?

Let's ignore the desperate attempt to stall us out by a week, then a day, then an hour. On the DAY OF recording:

-There was that hour mix-up.
-The guest guitarist got sick so we couldn't get Shame You, our only other "has more lyrics than one word repeated over and over again" song.
-The bassist couldn't show up.
-The backup bassist couldn't show up due to an emergency.
-OUR TERTIARY BASSIST SHOWED UP, but he only had one warm-up run in order to hear the songs and then do his thing.
-Two months of no practice. You think on that then listen to our stuff. You hear how good that timing is? Fuck yeah, Anubis Unit boyee.
-The drummer is incredibly sick, but we were able to pump him full of my sport mega man vitamins and a chest congestion pill, as well as tea and beer. He gets his pep back for the recording at least, and was even able to add an on-the-fly drumroll that sounds AMAZING.
-A fuse blew in my car and I didn't even realize it. I had been driving all day without dashboard light or tail lights.
-We're half an hour to forty minutes late starting simply because me and the guitarist didn't quite know where the studio was - the drummer and the studio owner were already inside and had to come out and dial in the number to open the gate. Lol.
-We're rushed, haven't practiced in two months and have to re-feel our timing with one another with only one warm-up run.
-The ice cream bars I bought from Grocery Outlet melted. Fuck you, that's important.
-General tension and HOLYFUCKSHITWEHAVETODOTHIS-ness.
-Fuck Valentine's Day. Everyone's celebrating early except for us.

There was a couple of other things, but with EACH ISSUE THAT CAME UP, we had to shoot 'em down. I've come to the realization by now that we've actually had it easy when compared to other bands who don't even get to this point, but still man - all this and more on recording day.

Fuck everything.

BUT, it went down, we now have four songs out there in the ether of the Internuggets, and we'll be recording and gigging more every sunday or whateverhaveyou.

So long as we keep workin' hard at it, burning that midnight oil and what-not, this shit will go down good.

Now that we've HAD the recording done, we can now focus on our next step: the company (whose name will remain anonymous) who wanted to hear those recordings have, as of today, stated that they wish to hear more from us. Mostly the un-vulgar stuff, but we've already got that outta our system, y'know? I'll be singing a capella for the rest of the songs, postin' 'em up on the Anubis Unit youtube and we'll be using THOSE as a guide (with the possibility of my drummer using a drum track for those as well) and as a presentation to the marketing side of the music biz.

Suffice it to say, we'll be gigging as well as practicing so we can present more songs to the masses. I'll also be all upon the Anubis Unit blog soon, not to mention KAOS: Chaos Party Radio.

And then there's the Scream/Dreams project.

OH, above all the Battleworld project, which I'd like Anubis Unit/No Rhymes to do the music for.

...I'm certain I forgot something somewhere. OH YEAH, I'm also redesigning my blogs, possibly even culling one or two and combining them. Hell, if I can figure out a way to combine all of them into one site, I will.

Go ahead and guess which domain name I'll go with~! :D

Someday, something I do will actually sell and make me feel like all my wasted youth will have been spent for a worthwhile cause. We'll see.

A Big Thank You To...Well, You!

Y'know, I've gotta admit something to y'all. Today's Valentine's Day, and while I haven't been the best blogger (newb interface, pre-made website designs, I keep throwing stuff at you guys despite how hard it is for some of you to keep up with my stuff, plus that one three month disappearance act I pulled), some of you have stuck with me through thick and thin, offering honest to goodness critiques as well as (well, I think) well-deserved pats on my back for a post well done.

Today I'll be working on the projects and spending Valentine's Day at Shittychat, domming hot traps and cybering with everything that moves. Here at Blogspot though, I'll just be leaving this small post thanking the people who have at least appeared to believe in me and what I'm doin', y'know?

I don't need suck-ups, I just need people who can honestly answer my questions and point out where I need more work. It's to you guys, my commenting crew, the readers who hit me back when I read them as well...all y'all.

Hell, if you haven't been in my Featured Links department, you'll get there eventually.

Suffice it to say, it's to YOU bastards that I say: Happy Valentine's Day, and my most heartfelt, semi-teary-eyed thanks.

Can you feel that? I'm e-hugging all of you.

Without pelvis thrusting.

For once.

...okay, I stopped e-hugging you and I have once again gone back to pelvis-thrusting in your general direction.

As hard as I can.

Unf unf unf.

And now, for a promise to keep I made awhile back to all of you...

Ahem, ahem, ahem. It's not as if it'll change anything, ThatBastard is only a name to my only personality. The way I act in Shittychat, all across the internet, and in real life are all the same guy. Me.

But I DID have a somewhat established e-name before ThatBastard, and it's the same name I use in Anubis Unit. At least, in my little world of the internets I went by this particular name, and though I ain't no e-celebrity I DID have my own little group of people that I'd hang out with on the internuggets and just have fun with. Hell, maybe you knew of one of 'em, I dunno.

Well, at least without the full title, but yeah...anyway, ahem.

I swore that when we got our recording done, I'd reveal the "real" guy behind ThatBastard, who's the same guy with a different name.

So may I bow slightly at the waist with a flourish of the arm and present myself to you?

The name's J.

JDW.

The FULL title in Anubis Unit is JDW: CONQUEROR OF HELL AND PRELATE OF HEAVEN, but most of that title has yet to be earned, y'know?

So. There. Promise kept. Now I'll go back to being That Bastard From Bellingham, thank you...I actually like that name, and will keep it for as long as I'm here in the blogosphere, y'knowwhatImean?

Now let's start confusing new people visiting my blogs by switching between the two names in the comment sections! LOLOLOL WHAT TROLLS WE BE~!!!

General Adverts and wrapping things up here

So yeah, I'll be either culling, combining, or somehow figuring out a way to get all six of my blogs in one place. Not to mention a general re-design that'll be more intuitive to my writing style. We shall see.

As is, I have to make sure I'm not actually IN Shittychat, my homeboy's chat room, whenever I am doing work. Otherwise I find myself gravitating back to the chat room, acting a fool and being creatively useless (at least towards my projects).

And yeaaaaaah, that's not good.

Plus I'm emoting more ever since going there. Blah. http://www.shittychat.com/register.php

Did I mention I wrote the FAQ's and rules? Also a tips and tricks screen that hasn't been edited yet. Spad, the owner, pissed in it - I mean, edited it further without really taking ANY content out and just posted it up with mega-credits to me. :D Go check it out, it's awesome. In the very least, you'll find the rules and FAQ's funny, if applicable.

Hmmm. One thing I can definitely do is steamroll Man-Flavored Milk into Sooth(e) Your Freaking Beast, but everything else I'm havin' trouble. Might set it up as an archive thing, like The Bellingham Jerk (which I really don't have the money for - it costs money to eat out!), just keep 'em around for posterity....we'll see.

Last but not least, go to Youtube, search "Anubis Unit," fave and like and comment and subscribe. We need views more than we need money right now, and it HUUUUUURTS to say that~! But, more views and spreadin' around the videos = love to us, and gives my band more of an impetus to post original content. Love from our peoples = energy, dontcha know.

OH, and as a last note even though I've got the starting values and design notes for two outta five kingdoms, I DO have more behind-the-scenes stuff written up already for Extreme Existence: Battleworld, so if you're an artist, programmer, a sprite artist or just a hobbyist like me hit a brotha up and let's see what we can do. Like I've stated before, I'm coming at this from the viewpoint of a writer, but I'm doing the starting values and some of the equations necessary to calculate the core of the gameplay: the combat system.

Anyway, this is only tentative - I probably won't really need any major help until I personally go facefirst into the brick wall of programming. Hell, I was going to use a hex map creator to set up the battlefield and use ascii characters to represent the units and named characters. I'm probably already waving around my flag of ignorance, but that's how I'll go about it after I'm done writing up the specifics and starting values of the five kingdoms involved.

Maybe I'm going about this all wrong? Hey, I'm always open to critiques and fandom. Just don't be fan-DUMB. LOLOLOL DID U C WUT I DID THURR?

lol, fan dumb....

Sincerely,

~That Bastard From Bellingham. Yer homeboy, J.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

...new featured link, new Bachelor Chow, Battleworld and updates!

Featured Link Time!

G'bye Randoom Blog, hello The Lunatic Pope!

So yeah, just showin' some love and support for a homeboy and a pretty cool motherfucker. Do you see that Approved By Eris thing I've got on my blogs? Yeap, they're from THAT motherfucker.

The dude has a history that can be described as "varied" and "interesting," and he's also a published author of poems and other nonsuch.

The dude's a pretty cool dude, PLUS he's a fuckin' pope. Official marriage certifications and all that good shit.

So, go start your adventure readin' his blogs over at:

http://www.alunaticpope.com/

As always, tell 'em That Bastard sent ya and he'll give you 25% more awesome.

Dig his alternative view on hats, man.

Bachelor Chow

Make Fats Breakfast Sammich

So yeah, I'm watchin' one of those cookin' shows awhile back (er, I think Man Versus Food) and they were making a burger that was practically the Luther from Boondocks: friggin' big assed burger (or two), multiple cheeses and bacon and instead of buns it was topped and bottomed with friggin' grilled cheeses sammiches.

Recently, I decided to make one of my own makin', but with the usual That Bastard switch-up. Gotta keep it real Neanderthal up in this piece, y'know?

Slice of mild cheddar cheese
Bacon
Egg (as always, sunny side up)
bacon and egg toaster scrambles
Cream cheese (neuschtafel...gotta keep it light SOMEWHERE in this motherfucker)

Quite obvious, yeah? Toast up those scrambles (if'n you don't know, they're basically pop tarts but instead of frosting and raspberry filling it's full of fake eggs, fake cheese sauce and fake bacon bits...yet I still eat this fucking things from time to time 'cuz I gotta get to work quick and/or they're just a buck-eighty over at a local grocery outlet which is, eponymously so, called Grocery Outlet), top with cream cheese, add a slice of dat cheese, three slices of bacon, add the egg, then top with the second toaster scramble.

Boom. I'm fairly certain there is NOTHING healthy about this, and I shamefacedly admit that I've had this more than once.

I had TWO of these that night, but hey...ya only live once, it scratched the itch I had, and I had done TWO workout sessions that day.

Count 'em, two.


Battleworld Progress Update

So I've posted up the Kraze Armada description page for both individual units and characters. Also got their individual starting stats COMPLETELY done, and am currently working on the Legion of Demnos. I've also dabbled with the "canon" storyline (if I were to be asked, these are the routes that I would say would lead to a sequel if I were to make one....which I pro'lly won't. This might not be a one-shot deal inexactly, being a parrt of the Extreme Existence multiverse, but if I were to make a sequel it would be set IN the EE multiverse and not Battleworld) and have gotten past the first map.

Er, in writing not programming.

Let's not forget, I come at this from the viewpoint of a writer, not a programmer or even designer. I'll probably, at some point in time, start hard coding and screwing around with Game Maker or some shit simply to get my toes into the water again...and to finally get over whatever mental block I somehow gained from back in the day that got me to stop programming in the first place.

I'm not the most hardcore of programmers, but by God at one point in time I could design a website and knew both Flash, HTML and C++ like the back of my hand. I practically killed Vis Basic and was in the process of learning C# and Javascript for the fuck of it.

I've GOT that knowledge and experience locked somewhere in a deep, dark, repressed part of my head...now I just gotta get back into the game and prove, in the very least to myself, that I can get the ball rolling before attempting to entice better programmers and artists to the project.

I mean, EVENTUALLY I'll want to get this systemized and perhaps even sold on XBLA or some shit, I don't know. I know that Kongregate is good for this kinda shit. We'll see.

I'm not sayin' I won't put it out for free (certainly I'll make a "fans only" version where we'll actually have those awesome theme songs I've listed in the character sections - I'll explain later) but I certainly wouldn't mind having something on my resume that says "I headed this project, launched it, and saw it to a profitable fruition."

Now, as to what I WAS sayin' about theme songs and such, yeah. I'm awesome at character design.

Now, I"m not pattin' myself on the back or whatever have you, I've made up TONS of awesome characters in my days of roleplaying and clocked in the middle double digits for Neo Tokyo: Unit 13.

Then I made more for the MilPol game idea.

So anyway, like I said - I've got the MAD fuckin' notes when it comes to character design, but when I start creating a character before I even begin to flesh out their motives, personality and looks I decide on two things: a name and a theme song for a lietmotif.

Seriously, I think up of names first and while they sometimes change they usually stay throughout the entire process. As an artist, though, I reserve the right to change ANYTHING up until I actually say "Okay, this is perfect, I'm done!"

Now these theme songs aren't OFFICIAL or anything, certainly I haven't ASKED any bands (ESPECIALLY IRON MAIDEN, whom I am a shameless hussy for) if I can use 'em, but hey it's not like I'm selling any of this shit (yet) and when the time comes I'll just erase it out, y'knowwhatImean? In the meantime, these songs are what I consider to be perfect for that character.

For the record, I use a lot of Iron Maiden. Like, a LOOOOOOOT of Iron Maiden. Especially with my old, never-written-never-finished-unpublished work "Dangerous Mismanagement," where each character was pretty had a song from Iron Maiden, Savatage, and other awesome heavy metal bands. Hell, one of the main characters (whom Makiko Kraze's first name comes from) has "Strange Wings" by Savatage, which I'll post up over at Soothe soon. Suffice it to say if you can't close your eyes and see the music Savatage is making with that song, then either I must have a mild form of synesthesia, or you need to get more imagination son!

So yeah, that's how I came about the various characters for Battleworld: name first, theme song next. I'm having a tough time with Legion of Demnos in that I'm CONSTANTLY going to Dr. Steel for that shit, as well as a couple of other lesser-known steampunk bands. While I'm not complaining TOO much 'bout it, the highbrowfag in me would rather a more diverse sound than simply "LOL LEGION OF DEMNOS TECHNOPUNK STEAMPUNK ESPERPUNK SO NOTHING BUT STEAMPUNK LOLLOLOLOLONE!!1!ELEVENTY," but hey sometimes you gotta stick with whatever works.

So yeah, Legion of Demnos individual stats, updating Consumables List (with actual recipes and materials, of which I'm comin' across quite a few - gonna hafta make 'em more varied than the Skyrim stuff), actually posting the SCIENCE!, Skills, Spells and Abilities lists, as well as the Legion of Demnos description page.

I'm already done with most of the aforementioned, but man...dem individual starting stats. It's the most important part (I mean, this is what we base what each unit can DO off of, y'know?), at least from my perspective. But my fucking god, it's so fucking BORING, grrrrr.

Ergo the blog updating, instead of working on it. I mean, I can see it. It's right here, looking at me from my menu bar. Just lookin' at me going "why are you on thatbastardon 9.rtf? Why aren't you working on me?" Fuck you, that's why.

My mental and physical bullshit

So yeah, I'm that motherfucker in the feel threads. I know some of you are already frothing at the mouth, and I don't give a fuck: at least it's vidyuh-related, faggot.

So yeah, it's actually been helping me through some seriously dark times nowadays. BUT, today was so very VERY not that kind of a day.

So I only get, like, three hours of sleep. Then two more. Now this isn't in and of itself a bad thing, 'cept I was supposed to wake up at 8 and be at my homeboy's place at 9 a.m. in order to help him move into this new place of his. Now, I end up getting to bed at 5 a.m. after hanging out having an awesome time at "Shittychat," y'know? BIG UPS TO MY NEW FAVORITE WEEB COUPLE, EDO! AFROBRO J. ECHOES, IF'N YER READIN' THIS YOU MY BOI!!!!!! DSA, STAY WHITE MY HOMEY!

So yeah, 5 a.m. sleepy time, wake up at 8 a.m....then wake up again at 10 a.m.

Little did I know, this was actually the start of a GREAT fuckin' day. First off, I call up my friend and he's all, "What? Oh shit, I just woke up too, dude!" So we lol, I tell him I'm gonna get some coffee and breakfast and then head over.

THe raisin bran I just bought recently (FUCK YEAH COSTCO OWNS MY SOUL! KIRKLAND SIGNATURE 'TIL I DIE!!!) and I got to open that up and just inhale the fresh scent of recently-opened raisin bran. The coffee comes out PERFECT, which isn't THAT a irregular thing...it's just more so today. 6 cups of coffee in my big-assed mug, the honey in it is PERFECT, and a cup of creatine powder drank afterwards with an extra cup of water, just in case. Fuck yeah, boyee.

So I get all my shit just fresh and nice, I leave lookin' like I'm fit to either stomp someone or sex someone, clip my nosehairs in my car (Keep yer shit tight, my homies. Stay thirsty, my friends.), double-check my awesome heavy metal bangs and head out there.

So we get this shit movin'. After awhile I feel the burn, then I amp up, then I AMP UP!!!! I fuckin' hulk out movin' shit, pure energy surging through my veins, it's a BEAUTIFUL fuckin' day, like I can't even begin to describe how sweet and clean the air is, how perfectly sunny yet there's that slightly chill bite to the air that smells of the clean sea nearby, y'know?

Just fuckin' PERFECT!

It takes us three trips, and a friend of ours helps out (plus his new neighbor and workmate), the very same friend who says he can back us up as a guest guitarman for our demo.

Oh shit yes son. We got one of the best guitar dudes in the fuckin' Northwest, and yes you've never heard of him. Fuck you and your hipster friends.

Even more so, both my homeboy AND his workmate tells me that their place of business is still hiring. Well, my application is still there, I DID acquire my social security card (long story short: only reason why I'm not workin' there was because at the time, between moves, my social security card decided to go AWOL somewhere. That kinda freaks me out, but I can't afford to change my number yet - plus I LIKE my number.) and they couldn't hire me.

Now I've got that card, and if I get in this week or at least start work next week, I can easily pay off next month's rent, get Comcast to back off overcharging my ass the way they have and still keep to my financial schedule. Otherwise, it'd be safer to simply do nothing - the amount of gas to get from Lynden to Bellingham is NOT negligible, y'knowwhatImean?

We'll see, we'll see.

Anyway we get him hooked up, he hooks me up with 10 bucks gas money (and earlier that day we shared a Harold and Kumar moment at a McDonalds and, y'knowwhat? I take back what I said about the McDouble and Daily Double - that shit's pretty fuckin' good.) and here I am, about to down a big-assed thing of chili, salsa and sour cream with a whole bunch of tortilla strips.

From Kirkland Signatures.

It's not like I'm the wealthiest dude in the world, or every fucking project I've ever even started have ever been finished. I know I've failed a lot and, as a certain friend reminded me recently, yes I have every right to feel as badly as I have been as of late.

But y'know what? Today was a fucking good day. Today was a GREAT day.

Tomorrow may suck. The day after may be horrible.

But you can't take away today from me. I dare you to fucking try. I've still got energy to burn.

In light of no challenges, I'm gonna get back to updating the blogs and gettin' to that Legion of Demnos individual stats page now. Catch y'all around, eh?

Sincerely,

~That Bastard

P.S. - GO READ SOME BATTLEWORLD SHIZNITS OVER AT http://thepenismysword.blogspot.com! I'VE GOT POETRY AND SHIT OVER THERE, YOU'LL FUCKIN' LOVE IT!

ALSO, I'M COMPILING MY POEMS, A SHORT STORY OR TWO, MY LYRICS AND MY CONCEPT STORYLINE STUFF (complete character sheets, storyline flowcharts, episodic descriptions, etc) IN A BOOK. YEAH, A BOOK MOTHERFUCKER. I'M CALLIN' IT "SCREAM." IT'LL HAVE SOME OF THE POEMS AT THE PEN IS MY SWORD, GO READ THEM BEFORE YOU BUY THEM.

P.P.S. - I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE, PLEASE RAPE MY FACE. THEN GO GET YOUR FRIENDS AND SEND THEM TO MY BLOGS, I GOT SIX OF THEM. CHOOSE ONE, SEND THEM THERE.

AND THEY CAN RAPE MY FACE.

BUT OHHHHH MAN, FOR EACH PERSON WHO RAPES MY FACE I'M GONNA TRACK YOU DOWN AND RE-RAPE EVER LAST ONE OF YOU.

P.P.P.S. - STOP CRYING, BITCH NIGGA. IF YOU DON'T LIKE RAPE HUMOR, WHY ARE YOU READING MY BLOG? I NEED TO SHOOP A PIC OF ME HOLDING A SIGN SAYING "I was dressed this way the day I raped someone at random. Go ahead and ask me, did I deserve that?" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN HERE READING ME FOR, DON'T YOU KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM?!!!!!!

YES,YOU CAN RAPE THE WILLING. IT'S CALLED HARDCORE BONDAGE AND THE PILEDRIVER.